One to love one to abuse 58.

Chapter 58.
Alisons POV

I wake the next morning still in the living room and Evans gone, I roll my eyes lifting my tired sore body from the couch to go look for him. I toss on a pair of baggy yoga pants and a tank top, too tired to bother with anything else. I stumble through our house looking for him when I hear rustling around in the kitchen, following the noise I force myself to continue walking. God all I want is sleep.

I find Evan in the kitchen making scrambled eggs and bacon as he looks up with his bright blue eyes and a big smile.
“Good morning beautiful, how did you sleep.” He asks softly as I look up to him with dread in my eyes not even wanting to answer.

“Like crap, my body feels like it’s been hit by a train and I want to spend my life sleeping.” I say dramatically as I sit at the bar table.
“Well maybe some food and a shower will make you feel better.” He says in a light cheery voice as he kisses my forehead setting a plate of food down in front of me and the door slams open as we both look over wondering who it could be.

Valerie comes busting in excitedly as I slowly chew my food trying to muster up the strength to pay attention.
“All the packs have responded to our invitations and are coming to the mating ceremony this weekend.” She says happily skipping in to the room while Evan makes her a plate and she sits stuffing eggs in to her mouth.
“Well looks like you two have some planing to do.” Evan says and I take a big gulp of orange juice.

“I’ll go shower when I’m done eating and we can get ready to go.” I say softly as Salem’s little feet come running down the stairs.
“I smell bacon!” He screams excitedly diving in to his chair waiting for Evan to bring his breakfast as I look over to my beautiful little boy, his big happy smile making my heart glow. Valerie laughs as she goes to sit with Salem and I finish my food quickly before leaving to shower.

I stand under the water as the heat warms my skin and I relax making me more tired, I try to be quick knowing if I stay in any longer I’ll just end up in bed. I get dressed and head back down stairs as Evans cleaning up the dish’s and Emily has now joined Valerie at the table.
“I’m gunna take Salem with me while you’re shopping with the girls today.” Evan says in a calm voice grabbing Salem tossing him in the air and my heart melts watching them together, I love the relationship they’ve developed.

I meet Valerie in the car after saying goodbye to Evan and Salem taking in the moment, I love them both so much my heart feels like it’s going to explode. Getting in the car the girls are laughing and giggling away, I just climb in sitting quietly with my eyes closed as the music plays softly in the back ground.

“What’s wrong with you lately?” Valerie asks bluntly and I don’t even look over too her.
“I don’t know all I know is I’m tired.” I answer as Emily sits forward from the back seat.

“There’s nothing bugging you?” She pipes in and my stomach sinks knowing their not going to drop it.
“I honestly don’t think so, I just want to stay in bed and sleep.” I respond letting my head fall against the seat belt and my eyes close and they leave me alone for a bit.

We arrive at the dress shop as the little old lady welcomes us happily.
“Oh hello again lady’s!” She exclaims inviting us in.
“Hello again!” Valerie says with a smile as we all start walking back to the formal racks. “We are hosting a mating ceremony this weekend and we each need a dress.” She says as the little old lady nods her head.
“Well you girls know where everything is, help yourselves to the dressing room.” She says softly as she walks over to her desk sitting down.

I pick a deep green long sleeve floor length dress with pearls, Valerie chooses a little red thigh length strapless and Emily chooses a black side split spaghetti strap as we all walk around the dressing room joking away with one another as we try on different dresses before our final choices.

We spend the rest of the day shopping and talking as we take a personal day to treat ourselves, on our way back to the car we stop at a small spa we find. Walking in Valerie notices it’s run by wolves which makes it a lot easier, most of the little shops are run by wolves here all from different packs but all wolves.

The spa is beautiful with a small waterfall trickling away in the room the aura calms my nerves. We each decide to get aroma oil skin treatments to relax, the lady mixing our oil makes mine to help with my sleeping issues as she rubs little circles in my skin releasing the tension I’ve been holding in my body. I let each muscle relax to her touch as I allow my eyes to rest, calming my brain in to a soft meditation. The amazing scent fills the room, it’s almost fruity as it works to erase all my tension, we spend an hour in the luxurious spa taking the much needed time for ourselves.

We make it back just before dark and I’m shocked at how late it is, the spa day is really what I needed, I feel so much better now. I walk in and Evan is setting out dinner for us he made a huge steak with salad and home made buns on the side.
“It smells so good.” I say happily walking in to the kitchen to sit and eat as Salem runs up to me smiling.

“I missed you Alison! Did you have a good day?” He asks in his sweet little voice as I hold him close to me.
“I missed you too buddy, and it was good I was really tired and I feel much better now. Sometimes when we don’t feel very good or we’re sad we just need to take a day to ourselves to feel better again.” I explain softly as he stares up to me with his beautiful big eyes listening to my every word.
“Well I’m glad you feel better.” He says softly hugging me tighter before he moves to his chair and Evan finishes bringing the food over.

“Evan?” I ask softly as he looks up to me shoving food in his mouth. “What is the mating ceremony like?” I ask looking down embarrassed for even asking.
“Well it’s wonderful, wolves come from different packs all over sometimes from other countries as well. They come in hopes of finding their mates.” He says as he takes another bite before continuing. “All the packs will go to neutral territory, because we are hosting this one it will happen on the edge of our pack. Under the moon everyone will shift to look for their mates, if you find your mate you claim them under the blessing of the moon goddess. After we finish we hunt together as a group allowing the mate bond to grow in the most freeing way.” He finishes and I see his eyes sparkle with joy as I listen to him in awe. The wolves traditions and ceremonies are all so magical, commitments and community mean more then anything I’ve ever found in the human world.

Salem tells us stories from his friends at school while Evan and I sit quietly listening to him as we eat, he’s such a smart little boy and I’m so glad I have him in my life. I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect them my family.

My heart begins to hurt thinking about the baby that I lost, I would have been close to meeting her at this point if I’d never miscarried. I wonder what she would have looked like, how her skin would have smelt. How perfect she would have been, I can’t control the tears that spill so I quickly excuse myself from the table before running upstairs to my bathroom.

Evan puts Salem to bed and I can hear them talking as I sit on our bathroom floor allowing myself to feel my emotions, it comes in waves and it’s frustrating I think I’m passed it and out of no where it hits me again throwing me off.

Evan opens the door coming in as I just sit silently on the floor.
“Are you ok?” He asks softly as his voice soothe my anxiety melting it away.
“Yeah, I just needed a minute.” I respond as I feel his body drop down next to me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks and I just look over to him taking a deep breath contemplating wether or not to tell him.

“I was just watching Salem, and you. How perfect you both are and how much I love you.” I answer him softly smiling as he looks in to my eyes.
“And that made you sad?” He questions and I realize he doesn’t understand.
“I started to think of how perfect the baby would have been too. I couldn’t stop thinking of her and it really hurt me to realize we would be meeting her soon if Melissa had never attacked me.” I say looking to the floor not wanting to see his eyes.
“I’m sorry Alison, I hope it gets better.” He responds pulling me towards him as I let my body sink in to his as we both relax in one another’s arms.

“I’ve thought of the baby too.” He says softly as I stop and realize I’ve never asked him how he’s felt, he lost a child too.
“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you much about it.” I say feeling guilt wash over me for not communicating with him.
“I understand Alison, it’s been hard. But I’m here for you.” He finishes before we both decide it’s time to go to bed, there’s a lot of planing before the ceremony this weekend and we’re already half way through the week.