90. Overwhelmed

Lilith

Fucking triplets, I had to have heard that wrong. I was already upset about having to have this ultrasound when I found out, he had to stick a wand like thing up my pussy and just saying it was a transvaginal ultrasound because it was so early in pregnancy. “Wait what did you say?” I asked the doctor. “Looks like Luna you are going to have triplets.” Fuck he really had said that. I turned and looked at Eric. He was beaming.

What the fuck? Why was he so excited. I already was scared of having kids and now I was going to have three. I sat there silent. “Luna we will have to get you set up with OBGYN to take care of you. I always recommend seeing a midwife, that is traditional with us shifters to have home births and all of that but having multiples it would be best for you to see an actual doctor.” He said and I remained quiet. What was I supposed to do with this kind of revelation.

Everything I knew I was struggling with seemed like the least important thing in the world. I now had to think about three babies. “How long until I deliver?” I asked. I needed to know how long I was going to be in this condition. “So full shifters only have seven-month pregnancies, but I don’t know if you will have a long gestation period, due to being half human.” Gestation he made it seem like I was some kind of roasting turkey. I felt sick to my stomach, and it was not because of the severe bruising. “It is a good thing you came home when you did. You could have lost them all, but based on what I am seeing everything looks good.”

I looked at the doctor like he was insane. How was everything good? I had three living things in my body. “You probably already know this, but I just want to reiterate, you cannot shift while you are pregnant.” Of course, I knew that now. I should have known it before Eric told me. I mean Roxie told me she was missing the mandatory shifting runs in the morning. As well as the mates of Percy and Tate. What about training could I do that at the very least? I thought back to what I had seen with the other pregnant shifters. They still attended training, but all three of them went to the lowest group.

The doctor answered my question. “Yes, you can train in human form, but it needs to be less, I know how hard you work and that is excessive for your condition. Though I do know humans if they are used to working out, they continue it throughout their pregnancies so that may be okay for you, but no contact training. No actually hitting.” I wanted to scream. He went on. “Use the punching bags if you have the urges but no one should be hitting you.” I stared at him asking. “Okay well I shifted when I was held captive. How am I still pregnant?”

“Implantation can range from six days to twelve days, so it could have been anytime during then. I know you were gone for ten days so the eggs probably implanted right before you got rescued.” Geeze this was disgusting talking about eggs and shit. I was not some weird being that is how it sounded. “I have to say Luna for shifters multiples are not common, at least to my knowledge. In my lifetime I have never seen one. Maybe it has to do with you being part human or you having a black wolf.”

The doctor continued. “I don’t exactly know where to send you though for medical care. Like I said most shifters, well all I know, see midwifes, but you need an OBGYN. I think you may have to be seen by a human doctor. Considering you being part human. It shouldn’t be too hard. Shifters in utero look just like human babies. They just grow faster. But like I said you could have a normal human pregnancy; I really don’t know. I do know as of right now on the ultrasound it looks like you the babies are the smaller than the size of full shifter babies. I really recommend that you see a human OB.” I stared at Eric who was still smiling like an idiot.

“Eric.” He looked at me. “I would like to go home now.” I told him firmly. He just shook his head. How fucking dare, he. I needed time to digest this all and I didn’t want to do that here. “Doctor, do we have a therapist here in the pack?” What the hell was he asking about that. I didn’t need therapy. I watched the Doctor nod. “Yes, we have one, she is wonderful.” Fucking hell, at least he had finished his ultrasound. I got off the bed and started getting my bottoms on. I was so over this. Eric gently grabbed my hand as I tried to exit the room. “Lilith therapy will help.” Eric said and the doctor nodded.

I ripped my hand from my mate. I looked at him and then glanced at the doctor. I said “Look we are shifters, it is in our nature to be violent, all creatures are violent, even humans. They have gangs and crime; it doesn’t matter it is out our core. This time I was at the bottom; I got the short end of the stick being kidnapped. But eventually someone else will get the violence by my hand or others. Everyone in this pack has had violence and they did not all go to therapy for it. I did not go through some mental trauma okay, it was physical, and that shit I can handle. I am fine.”

Eric responded. “Lilith you don’t want to be by yourself, and you are afraid of the shower.” He said and I barred my teeth and let out a low growl. “I am not afraid of being alone, and I couldn’t give a shit about a shower.” I knew that wasn’t true. I didn’t want to be alone. The shower was just too soon. I was sure I could do it if I wanted to. I would just need to do it once and I knew I would be over it. Eric gave me a look like he knew I was lying. My eyes narrowed. “Maybe I don’t want to be alone, because there is a possibility of me being taken again. I told you Bowie could overpower me. I know my limits, but did you do anything to prevent it from happening No. I told you Eric if we were both there, we could probably take him. So, no me not wanting to be alone is not because I am scarred it is me being prepared and making sure it doesn’t happen again. It is me taking care of myself, no one else will.”

With that I turned and walked out of the clinic. I felt relieved almost saying all of that. It is true I told myself. That was the root of my anxiety. I didn’t want to be put in that position again and I knew being alone made me vulnerable. Bowie had fucking got into our home; he could do it again if he wanted and I knew I couldn’t win against him alone. So yeah, it was reasonable that I didn’t want to be alone.

Instead of going home like I planned to. I walked toward Roxie’s apartment. I wanted to talk to her. Juliet and I had not talked since we fought. I didn’t know if we ever were going to talk again. I understood why Eric had been surprised I had a human best friend. She wouldn’t ever really understand everything. Now, it would be worse if we talked, and I told her the news of my impending litter. That was what it was, a fucking litter. I walked into the apartment complex and started up the stairs and I knocked on her door. Marcus was the one who answered the door. “Lilith, you, okay?” Was the first thing he asked.

“Can I please speak to Roxie?” I asked and he nodded opening the door for me. I didn’t know if his inquire about how I was, was due to my appearance or the fact I just showed up with no warning. Roxie looked at me. I gave her a smile. I took in her appearance. She had a cropped sweatshirt and sweatpants that matched. I couldn’t help smiling knowing I had made such a change. I looked at Marcus asking him. “Can we have privacy?” He nodded and I watched as he put on his boots and walked out the front door.

Roxie got up from her seat behind her computer screens and sat down on the couch, I had to slowly lower myself onto the seat being sore. I could see she had a little bump that was more noticeable with her cropped sweatshirt. She was what maybe a month along so only six more months for her. Eric mind linked me asking where I was, but I ignored him and told him I was fine but wanted to be left alone. “What is up Luna?” She asked. I looked at her. “I am pregnant.” Roxie smiled. “Wait you don’t look happy.” She spoke.

“Yeah, I am not particularly thrilled. I am having triplets.” Roxie then straight up looked shocked and spoke. “I have never heard of a shifter having multiples.” I just shrugged what was I going to say. Until I came here, I had only been around male shifters. “So, what is wrong, last time we talked you said you wanted to have kids?” She asked. “I did, I do. But I didn’t want it unexpectedly. I wanted school done and to do it when I was 19 and 20 when I delivered not 18. I wanted to plan it, and I didn’t want three right away. I wanted time to come around to the idea and be around some babies. I have never even held a baby.” I spoke.

“You did fine with the little kids in the pack that were involved in the fall festival.” She spoke. “Yeah, but they could talk,” Roxie nodded. “I think you will be great, and hey are kids will be around the same age, like born within a month of each other.” I frowned. “That is the other thing. I may be having a human pregnancy the full nine months, since I am half human. And you know how Kali is. She may not be shifting now and not talking to me, but she won’t be like that for months on end.” Roxie nodded. “But female wolves care for their young she wouldn’t hurt them by shifting don’t you think?” I shrugged again.

“You know Marcus and I visited you when you came home, but you didn’t really notice. Eric said you were going through something. I saw you on your laptop, you seemed a little” I cut her off. “I seemed like an insane person I know. But the good news should be done with high school soon enough and will be able to learn about my dad. At least if the lawyer gives me the information. I didn’t finish at my other school and Rob probably has him in his pocket. So, who fucking knows.” Roxie bit her lip, she looked suspicious. “What is it, Roxie?” I asked. “I told Alpha I would not say anything.”