Chapter 120: We Are Sorry
Chapter 120: We Are Sorry
Camilla
"That was only the mark of the beginning for us. The same day we would be covered in the blood of our competition, we returned home to parties and congratulated on our success." Domenico practically spat out the last word.
"For most, it would end there but we weren't just any recruits, we were sons of the mafia Don and were expecting nothing less than the uttermost cruelty and calculation. And we did our roles in exceeding all of those expectations as if it were as easy as breathing."
A chill made its way down my spine, leaving more questions and thoughts in its path. They are no longer hiding who they were and I didn't know what to think about it. They were indeed cruel, heartless and ruthless but whether they know it or not, they were also traumatized and hurting as well.
"We weren't good people, princess but we are yours."
I watched as Adriano stood from the table, his whole height towering over me now even though he was still a short distance away from me. He walked over to my side and smoothly crouched down holding his palms face up in front of me.
"Give me your hand, Camilla." Swallowing, I couldn't say no to his request.
Moving them out from under me, I hated the way they were shaking even as Adriano took them into his calloused hands and held them tight.
"Are you scared of us?" He looked at me, his fingers brushing against mine and I took in a deep breath before responding.
"Yes,"
I could only sit there as he stared up, the other two watching me intently from the side as well. I didn't want to see what was passing through their eyes at my words. I don't have the courage to look at them.
"Do you think we would ever hurt you?" He asked and I immediately shook my head no.
"I am scared of what you are capable of and the power you hold." I said, closing my eyes as my thoughts became dizzying.
Everything hurts but I know I need to say this if not for them, then for myself.
"But most of all, Adriano. I am scared that this is going to leave me damaged in a way that cuts deeper than any physical wound ever could."
My eyes flickered to the deep scar slicing through his own forehead and eyebrow, knowing the mark of it wasn't one that only showed across his skin.
"Tell us how we can make this work." He said with the same hint of pleading I had heard earlier this morning in their parking garage.
I could only drop my eyes to my lap though, pathetically shrugging my shoulders in defeat. I couldn't think of an answer of what the future holds so instead I asked a question.
"What happened to your mouth?"
A small cut and the slight swell of his bottom lips was something I only noticed with him this close but the marching marks on Domenico's fist soon answered the question for me.
"I deserved it." He brushed it off, his tongue tracing the wounded skin.
It needed to be cleaned but I couldn't stop myself as my attention was suddenly captured by a memory from this morning.
"Are you engaged?" I asked, this morning I could remember his father saying something about one lady.
"No, princess, I am not. I wouldn't do that to you.
As relieved as I was, I was still angry about this whole thing.
"Oh, so you dating behind my back is a line that shouldn't be crossed. But you are fine lying about something as major as being in the mafia?"
"We never should have lied to you but in our defense, it is not just something you go around telling people you have met." Gregorio said from my front, looking at me.
"That is a weak defense and it is one that doesn't make a difference for me. I gave you every ounce of my trust but yet this entire time, you never gave me the same in return.
I removed my hands from Adriano's, missing the warmth immediately. But I needed that numbing coldness to return.
"That is not true." Adriano furrowed his eyebrows in a way that told me he did, in fact they trust me but doesn't it matter now?
"Isn't it?" I challenged him.
"The truth is that I know practically nothing about any of you even less after today. I didn't even know today was your birthday until your own prick of a father told me."
I saw Adriano open his mouth to speak but I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth.
"I mean, what exactly did you plan to gain from all of this? Why would you choose me when you are the heirs to leading this entire thing? Did you plan for me to be a part of that one day or did you just think I was temporary?"
"No, Camilla, no." Adriano said, remaining crouched at my feet.
"You were never temporary, never ever. We don't know what is going to come of this but what we do know is that you are everything to us. You have been for a very long time and soon it wasn't lack of trust that kept us from telling you but our selfishness."
My breath hitched in my throat at his words.
"Because, if we were on the subject of truth, the fact that we were selfish is as candor as statements come. We can't lose you, Camilla, we just simply can't. I know you are hurt, it is understandable but our actions had nothing to do with the fact of who you are as a person and everything to do with. The fact that we were selfish bastards who are never going to let you go."
I had to place my hand to my mouth to muffle my son as I shattered. His words were real. I broke, and nothing at that point could have stopped the heavy tears that escaped from my eyes, rushing down my face and dripping onto the hands that now held it.
"I am sorry, Camilla." Adriano said as he stood, moving his body in between the spread gasp of our thighs.
"I am truly sorry."
I could barely breathe as he angled me to look at him, forcing me to see the pain and remorse and uttermost tenderness in his eyes.
"I am sorry," he repeated, kissing away a tear as I let him keep me in his embrace.
Those words soon became a quiet, devoting chant on his lips. Domenico and Gregorio soon walked to my side and held me in their own way. I still didn't know where we stood or where my mind was at but for now, all I wanted to do was let them touch me, I just needed them.
*******
I didn't know how long we stayed in that large meeting room like that but it came to a point where I simply had no tears left to cry. For a while, it was just us, the rest of the world and the issues that came with it fading away into nothingness.
Things had long gone quiet but it was Adriano who later broke the silence.
We have never celebrated our birthdays before so I never saw a point in letting you know about it." He paused before he continued.
"We always wanted one as a child but when our mother passed away, our dreams of candles and presents died with her."
Even though I was still really mad at them, I reached out and let my fingers brush against Adriano in silent comfort.
"Thank you for telling me." I said quietly, my eyes sore from all of the tears I have done.
I was sad, angry and conflicted but most of all, I was soon tired above all else. There was still a lot for me to think about and even more things I needed to decide but there was still a friend at home for me I needed to speak with first.
Gregorio's breathing was steady beside me as he held my hand but I think he could sense that I was just about ready to leave. I didn't entirely want to but I needed to.
Sitting here with them and pretending we had all the answers could only last for so long isn't working. Although it only made things even harder as I moved off the table, all three men remained there and looked at me in ways that made it near impossible to leave.
"Text me when he is gone, okay?" I said, referring to their father.
"I don't know when I will be ready to speak again but I need some time and I am going to take it."
Something a lot like disappointment flashes through their eyes but I also saw understanding mixed with it.
"Take as long a time as you want, darling." Domenico said, his cut knuckles turning slightly red as he restrained himself from moving towards me.
"We will be right here."
"Always," Adriano added, promising by lacing that single word and causing goosebumps to pepper my skin.
I wished he hadn't said that, although I didn't repeat it out loud but my response must have been clear on my face, always.
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