Chapter 273: We Don't Deserve Her
Chapter 273: We Don't Deserve Her
Gregorio
The pain I felt for the woman in my arms was indescribable, watching as Camilla's body slumped against me with the last of her tears trickling down her face. There was silence now in the sense that he had passed out and her sobs weren't there to cut through me anymore. But it is the word left unspoken that created the loudest of beats.
Pulling her closer to me and wiping away her unfallen tears, I didn't bother to hide mine as I looked up at the men I loved so dearly. Domenico was quiet and stunned, Adriano just so simply heartbroken and he had nothing to say.
Mother was still alive and yet never once has she reached out to us in all the years. I can't even begin to imagine how my brothers were feeling right now, especially Adriano. How was he handling this? I wanted to believe it was a trick but the grief stricken on Adriano's face proved that he believed what she said. Even with her truth, though I just couldn't see how something like this could be possible. I was still naive when the incident took place and was on a holiday at our aunt's house but I can remember being told that our mother died in Adriano arms as a result of being poisoned by a plant called belladonna. Further investigation indicated that it had been consumed orally from the drink she had at dinner the night she died.
And the person that served her the drink was none other than the nobody waiter Lucas Brown was at the time. Camilla would have been seven and according to what she has told us, her father didn't start leaving until she was ten. At this point, however, when she was likely too young to remember, Lucas snuck away for a week to murder our mother and yet all I can ask myself is why?
What would he gain from that and if our mother really was alive now then whose grave has we been visiting for years?
"Raphael was killing her slowly in that house." Adriano said the first word since Camilla passed out in my arms, my heart breaking for what was happening.
"He was killing her and I think she faked her own death so she could escape him."
He seemed so detached as he said it, almost distant with his eyes on the girl by my side, so unwavering it was like she was grounding him and he didn't even know it. I found Domenico looking at her too before his gaze traveled over to me, all of us caught up in this shit storm with no real way out.
If what Adriano suspected was true that our mother faked her death, even though it meant leaving us behind with that monster of a father. Then the woman still alive didn't deserve us. Of course, we couldn't confirm anything until Camilla regained herself back from the drugs we had given her but there were more things we had to discuss apart from this news. While I may be biased in the fact Lousie Jaxson was still alive, Camilla was my priority right now.
I looked at Domenico, his eyes focused so strongly on where Camilla was on the floor, seeming so conflicted he could barely breathe. But when his gaze eventually twisted to his left, a single nod served as his response. Raphael's death was too kind indeed and yet, we all knew we couldn't change it now. And we could barely change what was right here in front of us tonight, wishing so desperately that I could have carved a path where a future for us was still in our sights. When I looked at her now, all I could see was the pain she has been hiding for so long, too scared to know that it was okay to let it out.
"We don't deserve her." Adriano said quietly as he took a hesitant step towards her, then another and another until he was close enough to drop softly to his knees before us.
I knew there was no chance of Camilla waking until morning after what I had given her but it was almost worse that way as u had so much time to think about how I could help her and how I would likely fail in the process. Adriano was right to say we don't deserve her but we also never have. That has never stopped us before but saying those words now makes me wonder if our selfishness was finally doing more harm than good.
Ever since we got her back, everything has felt like teetering on a tightrope, never knowing what decision will tip us over into an endless pit of no return. When I found her bleeding at the front door earlier, that was what it had felt like. However, I live moments like this, moments where I can see the grief in Adriano's eyes as he takes Camilla's small hand into his that makes me feel otherwise.
I watched as the man larger and meaner than us all remained bowed at her side, bringing her left hand to his mouth and pressing a single saddened kiss to her knuckles. He was shaking slightly but that didn't deter him as he tugged at the chain around his neck, breaking it right off so that a small gold ring could slip from the loop and into his hand.
While she didn't wake, there was no missing the feeling of her gentle sigh against my neck where her head rested as Adriano lifted her pinky finger, sliding the band back onto her finger where we all knew it belonged. I heard as the silver chain once holding it fell to the cold tile of the kitchen floor but no one made a move to pick it up. Instead, I sat there staring at the beautiful trace of freckles spotting her cheeks, the wilderness of her curls and the curve of the lips. I would do anything to taste again.
I wish so desperately that we could do things over, that I could go against what fate had handed us and give the girl in my arms the love that she deserved more than anyone I knew. I wished that I could still be her everything but now all I could hear was the resentment in her voice as she told us about what she had to go through when she was alone and I couldn't blame her for believing we abandoned her.
Camilla may not know the way we all felt apart trying to find her over this last year but the truth is that we never succeeded and that was the problem. No matter how hard we fought, Lucas was always one step ahead and now knowing he had our mother by his side all this time, let's just say it made a lot more sense. We weren't fast enough and yet it was my sweetheart that had to pay the price for it in the end.
"I don't know how to help her." I rasped as I took in the heartbreaking sight before me from the anxious length of her fingernails to the irritated skin across her stomach that showed through the translucent material of Domenico's shirt.
She seemed so at peace here before us with her body cradled against mine but we all bore witness to the demons that ate away at her only minutes ago when she was still conscious enough to pour her heart out. I just wanted her to be happy and for the first time since knowing her, I started to wonder if that simply wasn't possible by our sides anymore.
"I know," Domenico said in response because the truth is that I don't think any of us knew what to do anymore, not even Camilla.
I sighed as I rested my head back against the cupboard, Domenico walking over to take a seat to my left while Adriano remained in front of all of us. No matter what, decisions were going to have to be made tonight for better or for worse, not just what we were going to do about Lucas and the mafia he was leading. If our mother was really by his side, then why would she be supporting a man who was repeatedly trying to kill her sons? Or maybe that wasn't Lucas true international at all?
Either way, that was a discussion to be made another time but for now for at least these few moments, I just wanted to be here. Camilla in my arms, my brothers by my side. This was what I needed right now even if the peace was all but an illusion.
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