Chapter 183: I Don't Remember Telling You To Be Gentle
Cheap 183: I Don't Remember Telling You To Be Gentle
Camilla
"Do you think we could talk for a little?" Adriano asked the word I have been waiting to hear for the last five days and I of course, nodded and allowed him to lead the both of us over to the dark colored couch in the corner.
I sat beside him while my legs were brought to drape over his thighs, his hands instantly falling to smooth up and down the freshly waxed skin from my appointment yesterday. I know he noticed how soft my legs were just as I noticed how rough his hands felt.
"You are hurt," I frown as I take his fingers into mine, not wanting to aggravate the bruises across his knuckles.
"I know," he whispered as I lifted his hand to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his pain as he did for me a few days ago.
"It is the reason why I had to leave." His eyes didn't leave mine as I slowly lowered his fingers back to his lap.
He didn't let go though instead he interlaced his hand with mine. The gesture was sweet even if he didn't mean it to be. I think he needed my comfort just as much as I needed him and I was more than happy to give it to him as the side of my head rested against the couch back.
"What happened?" I asked, not just about his wounds but everything else that led up to this moment.
I wanted to know everything he was willing to share with me and I had a strong feeling it was a loss based on the vulnerable expression he wore across his face.
"I have never really been good at describing my emotions but I promise I will try." He said, his tone growing a little quieter as his thumb brushes against my knee.
"Do you remember me telling you how our mother passed away when we were still a child?"
I listened as his voice broke at the sentence and it was my heart that broke for him when I realized why he had left. Why didn't he want to be around anyone for the last five days?
"Friday was the anniversary of her death."
What? But Gregorio and Domenico never mentioned that to me but I must say, I noticed something was off with the two of them too. Adriano turned his head away to hide the tears threatening to spill from his eyes but I knew he was also hiding his anger and every other emotion brewing inside.
Their mother didn't just die, she was murdered by the same man they have been hunting for years. I can't remember the name as he very rarely mentions his name around me but I knew his recklessness was a result of the pain this monster caused.
"You would think that after two decades I would be able to move on but the pain never really goes away because I held her in my arms when she took her last breath." He said, not resisting as I turned his head to look at me.
I understood what he was saying but I still didn't get why he couldn't have just told me this. I mean none of them told me about this. I have a feeling it had a lot to do with how he makes things go away though.
"What do you do to clear your mind?" I asked, knowing that whatever he does hasn't been enough for him.
There was a wild look still in his eyes and I suspected I knew the answer before they even left his mouth. He has never been in a serious relationship until me and it was the changing factor in his struggle to forget everything from the past that still haunts his present.
"It doesn't matter." He shook his head with his hands still on my legs.
We both knew it was a lie but things were slowly beginning to make sense for me. I remembered the way trashed his room all of those nights ago after something bad had happened because for him, it was a release.
The fights I am sure he would provoked to get bruises like the ones he had was a release. Just as was drinking and the one thing he couldn't do because of his respect for me.
"It matters when you are wounded badly that you can't even look at me after five days straight of solitude." I said but freezing when his one hand grabbed onto my waist. It wasn't painful but it was strong enough to show l was right.
"Gravity club used to be a place where you could work out your stress on as many women as you wanted without the commitment of either person's feelings getting involved." I state, understanding where I was coming from now.
"Camilla…."
"You used alcohol, sex and pain as a distraction but this time only two of them are there for you to exploit." I continued, knowing after a week of silence, I was finally getting somewhere with him.
I could tell by the clench of his jaw and the darkness of his eyes, a very clear shift occurring in his demeanor.
"You may be right, Princess but this is only proving I am not in control enough to come home yet." He gently moves my legs off his lap as he tries to create distance between us but I wasn't lying to myself when I came here with a purpose.
I learned a long time ago what makes him tick and as much as I love him wanting to protect me, that is not what either of us needed. The last week had been full of me trying to come to terms with things myself and I was just as on edge as he was even if he doesn't want to admit it.
"You are not in control because you haven't allowed yourself what you need." I argued, not making any more advances apart from my words and wandering eyes.
I have never seen him squirm before but what he was doing right now came pretty damn close to it. I didn't want him to feel like he ever has to hold himself back from me especially when u can help him forget. The only thing is that he needs a bit of a push and it was one I am more than happy to deliver.
"I know what you think you are doing but you need to stop, Camilla Ranger." He said, channeling all of the dominance I am familiar with into a single sentence.
He rarely ever says my full name and while my body reacts accordingly to the warning in the form of a racing heart, a taunting smile also appears on my face.
"And why is that, daddy?" I smirked, taking my foot and dragging it slowly up his ankle.
I continued my path northwards until his hand stopped me, his fingers sending shivers down my spine with his touch alone. I knew he believed this was an issue of him not having control but it was quite the opposite. He has too much restraint and it was holding him back to the point of him being every other unhealthy thing possible than accepting my help.
"One of us needs to be intelligent about this and it is clear you have taken on the role of being a brat instead." He said lowly, letting go of my leg despite the evidence of how much I am affecting him.
"If I touch you in the way you think you want right now, I am not going to be nice or gentle about it."
There was no anger in his tone but no amount of resistance could hide the tenseness of his body. I wasn't going to force anything on him, however I wasn't going to let him decide what I can and can't handle either. When we wrote the contract together, I signed off on a consensual non-consent. My mind hasn't changed about it in the least.
"I don't remember asking you to be gentle, Adriano." I purposefully add a bit of attitude to his name as I outright challenge whatever he is convinced will happen if he relies on me to know my limits.
"Assuming you are sober, the only damn thing holding you back is yourself and your stupid…."
I didn't even get to finish my sentence before a hand was being wrapped around my throat, pulling me towards him until I was straddling his lap. A flash of darkness was the only thing I saw before his lips were crashing against mine, devouring me and stealing every last bit of air from my lungs. I melted as his hand pulled my front flush to his, my body melding to his desire and submitting to just how much we missed each other.
A week's worth of longing, sadness and excitement all merged into one long kiss that set my heart on fire. Something inside me whined in protest when he pulled away from me but his hand remained wrapped around my neck as he felt my pulse flutter beneath his fingertips.
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