Chapter 238: We Never Thanked Her
Chapter 238: We Never Thanked Her
Adriano
Even at eight years, Harper knew that privacy was something that we needed right now especially as my eyes moved over to the stairs where Gregorio was sitting down. Domenico and I almost at once moved over to him. He played before the note was even open, the bright coloring paper appearing to have fallen down into the space between the stairs and the railing.
I can see where the piece of tape had been based on the slightly shiny part of the folder paper, thick blue writing on the front making me feel sick all over again.
'Harper is upstairs, first door on the right. She is okay.'
There was no name attached but I could tell it was Camilla's handwriting and I could also tell she had been nervous just by the quick scrawl of the letters as though she had been shaking as she wrote it. I was shaking now as well. Domenico and I simultaneously took the step up to where Gregorio sat about half way up, Domenico sitting to his right and me to his left.
None of us were even capable of breathing as he silently opened up the note with his trembling hands and it felt like the air was punched out of me as letter after letter was written in black pen, beginning with our names.
'To Adriano, Domenico and Gregorio. I promise that this time, this letter is from me, no tricks, no lies, just me. I have thought about a million different ways as to how things would go when I was finally able to get back to you again and for months I never believed that what happened in reality was even a possibility. But as you know, it turns out it was, I am sure you were angry with me, confused and sad. The truth is that apart from my love for you, that is all I have been able to feel for this past year. I never know what to do and up until recently, getting back to you was all I needed. I thought it would make things right but it turns out I am a lot more scared than I wanted to admit. But the truth is that I am terrified.' I felt a droplet tear rolled down my cheek.
'Adriano, I know you killed my mother, I don't know why you did it or why you would do it in that way but I have hated you for it since I arrived at The Safe. However, what is worse is that I hate myself even more because if you showed up right now to bring Harper home, a silent part of me would beg for you to take me too. A part of me would beg myself to stop fighting so maybe, just maybe, I would be able to go home. Then again, your niece is beside me right now and if I wasn't here to help her in the ways I can now, I don't want to imagine what might have happened. If all goes right tomorrow, we will never have to find out." Tears were already rolling down my cheeks.
'Domenico, you scared me, it is okay and I don't blame you but when you pressed me against that wall in the storage closet, it was dark and I felt suffocated. Being locked up at The Safe for a year had forced me to get over myself a lot but the space was small. I couldn't fight back and I could barely see a thing for those first few moments that we were in there. The race of my heart that day wasn't just for you but as I am sure you already know. I was scared, I just don't think you knew the whole reason why I shoved you away." I heard Domenico inhale a sharp breath.
'Gregorio, I can't tell whether not seeing you that morning was a blessing or a curse. In the past year, I have often wondered if you guys had changed, if you moved on. I didn't know whether I would get to see your dimples again or if you were still wearing those ridiculously patterned socks underneath all of your fancy shoes. I wondered if you would still smile if you saw me or if you would turn away because it doesn't take much to see that I have changed. I could even see it when I looked in the mirror but I hated it and the coward inside me wondered if you would hate it too, hate me. That is something I don't think I could ever handle even if I deserve it half of the time. Like I said, if all of this works out, Harper would be safe and I will never have to find out how you look at everything I have become anyways.' I looked over to Gregorio and his expression was stoic.
'l will be gone by the time you read this but know that I still wish you all the best even if I am still overwhelmingly pissed about your lies…. Camilla.'
There were spots in the ink where the letter had slightly expanded, almost as if tears of both anger and sadness had been slowly falling with each stroke of her pen. I wondered if she was as silent when writing this as the air between the three of us now. Everything Harper said about us made her cry in a horrible sense.
"We never thanked her." Domenico said quietly after a long stretch of time.
Gregorio's hands gripping the paper so tight he was creasing the edges. Turning my head slowly towards the man besides me, my heart raced as he looked back up, his eyes meeting mine with true and utter despair. Domenico's eyes were glossy over with unspoilt tears and as though I were looking in the mirror, I could see my own mimicking in the same brutal way.
"We never thanked her for what she risked for Harper." He repeated and it was then I realized he was right.
And in a terrifying sense, Camilla had let us see her again. But not as the fighter her father created, not as the lower we had shed light upon. But as a person who was so damn scared, she didn't trust herself to love anymore and that broke me.
******
Camilla POV.
Flashback: some days at The Safe
"Give it back!" I yelled as I chased my father down their stupid long hallways, no matter how much he tried to walk away from me.
This was the first day whatever drugs they had been giving to calm me had worn off enough that I could even walk on two feet. I planned to use every second of it while I could.
"I don't care if you have to go back to Kumon to get it, I want my ring back since you refuse to even let me sew them."
Still, he walks away, my mind remaining a little foggy from how little I have moved around this last week.
"Father!" I yelled again as I finally caught up, grabbing onto his elbow and forcing him to stop.
I could see that in some sick way he kept me here out of love, out of wanting to protect me but that didn't change the fact that I was mere seconds away from bursting at the seams. I felt their absence like a physical weight stretching out across my heart and making my chest aches and my eyes prick with tears. I needed them back, I needed them all back.
"What in the hell is going on? You take my clothes, my friends, my home. You take my love away from me and think you have the right to lock me here like some broken criminal?"
All that earned me was a shake of his head, he sighed as his fingers ran through his slightly graying hair, creases around his eyes and across his forehead and showed the tiredness that had dawned on him with rage. I couldn't bring myself to care right now, though. That ring has a tracker in it, the loss of it made me feel more alone than I ever could have imagined.
"Child, you know it is not that." He said with genuine sadness in his voice but I could tell this was him still brushing me off.
Both verbally and physically as he gently moves his arm from my hold, moving to continue to what I am beginning to recognize as his office.
"Father!" I shouted as though it would make a difference but I know it won't. I will just have to make him.
Someday, somewhere, I will return to Adriano, Domenico and Adriano. I will return to them even if the cost of that is myself.
"Can you at least give me back my dagger? You know, the one you stole from me as well."
"As the leader of this institute, Camilla. You know I can't do that." He said as he continued to walk.
How long were these goddamn halls? It didn't matter, I would make him listen. I would make him hear me because if he didn't, I knew I would never get out of this maze like prison on my own. I was just like a butterfly caught in a spider's web. I had nothing as it had all been stripped from my back but my will was strong enough to improvise.
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