Chapter 240: Do You Want To Talk About It?
Chapter 240: Do You Want To Talk About It?
Camilla
By the time I got up to Nancy's porch, there was very little time to think about that anyways. I was too nervous as my hand lifted to the door, knocking three times and praying that she was at home. Her car was in the driveway so I would assume so.
"One minute!" I heard a voice yelled out from inside, a voice that was so Nancy that I could barely breathe.
She is at home, my heart raced as I heard footsteps come towards the door before the sound of a lock was clicked out of place, the handle twisting. It only took two seconds before my eyes clashed onto hers, watching as she freezes in front of me with her fingers still clutched tight around the doorknob. With tears welling in my eyes, I stayed dead still and took in her appearance, the dark curls of her long hair, her small body dressed everywhere in oversized clothes. Her face was free from makeup but her lashes were still thick and dark, a tiredness to her I hadn't hoped to see.
She was as beautiful and regal as I remembered her and yet I could tell things simply weren't the same with her either. She stood there stunned as though I almost wasn't real, like she couldn't believe she was looking at the woman before her. It was a long time as the cold of winter seeped in between us, goosebumps rising on her arms that she paid no attention to.
Her eyes were on my face and when her hand finally slipped free from the door handle, she took a step towards me. It was only one but it was enough for her arms to wrap tight around my body, holding me close in a way I wasn't sure I would feel again. Nothing about her hold felt suffocating and for the first time in a long time, I let out a breath that didn't hurt, copying her action and holding her close.
I missed her embrace enough to make me shake, fighting off my tears just to hear her crying over my shoulder and when she eventually pulls away, I can see the shiny gloss over her eyes and her hands still gripping onto my arms as though she was terrified I will disappear if she lets go.
"Hi, Nancy." I smiled sadly as she grips on tighter, my face pinching into a wince when she catches some of the bandage on my upper left arm.
It was a reminder they needed to be changed soon, I also desperately needed a shower. I could worry about that all later, though. There were so many more important things before me right now.
"Camilla?" She lets out a breath on the verge of a snob, looking over every inch of me like she couldn't believe I was here.
"I thought I would never see you again." She shudders coldly from the wind drifting inside and as I gently hold onto her arm, I maneuvered us into the house enough that I can close the door.
I instantly felt warmth creeping into my skin at the heated air of the house but I didn't miss how different it all was. It was almost startling but like the change within me, it has been a year. It was obvious that whatever organization drove Nancy once had left her since I was gone because I could barely find a thing that wasn't out of place.
"My goodness, I thought you were dead." She trembles as she leads me farther inside, forcing me to take my shoes off in record time so I didn't trail a bunch of snow across her expensive floorboards.
I didn't want to wet the hundreds of papers scattered on the ground or the clothes or the bags or anything. It was a disaster and coming from her, I knew that it wasn't normal for her. At least not what I remember of her.
"I know," I whispered as her hand slipped in mine, both of us sitting on her couch. That was one of the only things cleared off. I wanted to cry at the sight of being back here, messy or not and it was as weird as it was comforting.
It has been so long being in the dark and I can barely even manage anymore in the light.
"I am sorry," I apologize at the thought of her having to panic over me everyday, wondering if I had ever been back. I hated that she was caught in this but I haven't forgotten for a second that she had been here the night I was taken. I had screamed for her to run but the only thing I knew about it afterwards was that my father said she wasn't harmed.
Right now, I am not sure if I could believe him. Not while looking around, seeing circles under her eyes and her beautiful curls frizzy and unkempt. She was always the person to dress for herself in the most uniquely breathtaking ways, styling things because she loved to. Now, everything was out of place and my heart sank when I noticed the missing pictures on the walls and tables that were once filled with a particular person. There wasn't a single picture of Alice everywhere and she looked how I looked for months after I lost them. She looks like she was torn apart from a breakup.
"What could you possibly be sorry for?" She sniffed as she looked right at me, her eyes shining from the slow tears falling down them.
"I left you," I said, my voice hitching in my throat.
"I am sorry I wasn't here."
******
Nancy POV.
"No, Camilla." I shook my head as my grip tightened around her hand, my cheeks feeling damp from all of the tears I have cried.
My best friend's fingers feel warm against mine as she holds me and I hear both of us slightly shaking and most certainly overwhelmed by all of this. My heart seized control of my body as I inhaled through my nose, trying to stop from breaking down so we could actually talk. So much has happened, so much has changed but at the same time, sitting here with her right now felt like every bit of normal I needed. Even though I didn't know what to say, somehow just being here made things feel just a little bit better.
"I have messed a lot of things up lately." Camilla sniffed as more tears of hers fell at the admissions, my heart aching because I know for a fact that she couldn't have done too much bad. Not enough to warrant the obvious guilt she was experiencing right now.
The fact alone that she is here is all of the proof I need because it is clear just by looking at her that sacrifices have been made to get here. For the last handful of months, I began to worry that it would be a body Adriano, Domenico and Gregorio found instead of the woman who was special to all of us in all of our own ways. While this Camilla isn't the same one who was torn away from me a year ago, it was still her. I was still me even with a breakup that continues to tear me apart.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked gently as I repositioned my legs on the couch, my one knee bent to rest my chin against it. Even that was shaking, though, my hand still gripped tight around hers.
I was almost too afraid to let go, her eyes looked so much more blue than usual with her tears coating her lashes, her face appearing so tired that her body was on the edge of emotional exhaustion. I knew it because I was too, the only thing good about my life right now being her presence at my side. She blinked up at me as she shifted slightly closer, leaning her head to the side so that her temple could rest against my couch cushion. It was so crazy to see her back here even as different as she seems.
"I don't think I know how to anymore." She said quietly as more tears fell in pace with mine, a small smile twisting her lips for just a second before fading away as her eyes fell shut. She simply lets them close with my hand being her anchor and hers my own.
I was happy she couldn't see the small flinch across my face at her words, the sole reason being that I don't think she realized just how heartbreaking that confusion was. Our friendship came so easily to us over a year ago because talking to each other was just that. Easy natural, now it felt like we were both at a standstill, waiting for something to break us free from the entrapment of our own experience.
I lost Alice mere months ago and it was an amazement that I had even worked up the effort to answer the door a few minutes prior to now. It is clear that Camilla isn't in that much better of a state and what is worse is that I know my friend's pain exceeds so much more than a breakup.
I couldn't tell how she got here or why it is now that I am seeing her again but what I do know is that it won't be long before a certain trio comes knocking on my door like their lives depend on it.
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