Chapter 287: I Choose Them
Chapter 287: I Choose Them
Camilla
I woke up to the feeling of long, gentle strokes passing through my hair, a familiar smell encasing my every nerve in a sensation that felt like home. Distantly I was able to feel the soreness of my eyes and a lingering headache at the base of my skull but the only thing that truly captured my mind was him.
Pulling my gaze upwards, I found Gregorio's icy stare focused into the pages of a book, hjs chest naked and hair tousled in a natural and relaxed way. It took my brain some time to adjust back into reality, lost in the vision of us together but soon the memories of the last time I was looking into his eyes hit me. As well as the sight of tan bandages wrapped his midsection.
"Gregorio," I breathe, moving to sit up as his hand slipped away from my hair.
"I was wondering when you are going to cease your ogling." He smirked in an entirely prideful way, even with his eyes still trained on his book.
"Any longer and I might have caught you drooling." His smirk developed into a full grown smile, looking so at ease despite recent events.
With me at his side, he looked as though he didn't have a fear in the world.
"You are bleeding." I shake my head as the sight of red pulls me from my daze, leaving a bitter taste along my tongue and drying my mouth of all words.
This was my fault, I led them to Gregorio and my only excuse was that I just couldn't keep myself away from him. Scrambling onto my knees in a panicked frenzy, I instinctively place a hand over his soaked bandages, feeling his sharp intake of breath whilst his muscles flex beneath my touch. With an apologetic wince, my face twists up as realization instantly settles into my core.
"Shit, sorry." Words fly past my mouth, my body moving faster than my brain could catch up to and I was already positioned to slip off the bed, still clothed in yesterday's disaster when I felt a gentle touch grip my elbow.
That touch gave me my first true breath of air since I saw the bandage.
"Do you need help?" I asked quietly as a tear fell down my cheek but he only brushed it away with his thumb before pulling me to lay on his lap.
"No, I need you, Camilla." He shakes his head as though it was the most obvious thing in the world and I couldn't help but feel like I didn't deserve him as my head laid against his thigh.
He had given me his life and never asked for anything in return. Scratch that, I know I don't deserve him and yet as time continues to pass between us, it makes me realize that it shouldn't matter. If I spent the rest of my life running, I would be no better than my father. What separates me from him is that I think I am finally ready to fight, to truly fight.
I still can't decide what that will look like, giving things with these men another shot or something entirely different. Either way, having Gregorio's heart stop before me made me realize how painfully short time truly is. I can't change our past or my decisions or their actions. I can't change our pain and anger and mistakes. But there is one thing in my life I can change though, one thing I have the power to control and it is the one thing I have spent too long running from. I need to choose and I choose them.
"You are thinking too much." His soothing voice soon pulls me back to my surroundings, the soft brush of his knuckles along my forehead slowly easing my tension.
"Your books are still here, sweetheart. Go grab one and join me in bed, we can play hooky for the day." He ends with a little wink when he finally sees my reluctant smile at the image.
Rolling myself off his bed, the brush of fabric that lands right above my knees makes me realize I was wearing one of his shirts still, one I wore specifically because it smelled like him. Those days with Gregorio in the hospital were…. words aren't even capable of explaining how hard it was.
Seeing his carefree and happy state in front of me, so at ease and so normal. Something just felt wrong about embracing relief when so much has gone so wrong. Every instinct wants me to never leave his side now, terrified it could always be our last time together. But that would only be me running, just in a different way.
"It is not playing hooky when you have an actual excuse." I teased while placing a hand on my hip, forcing myself to try. For them, it was worth it, it always had been and I guess it just took me some time to accept it.
"Now move that cut ass of yours before I get tempted to punish you." He smiles before sitting up straighter in his bed.
Hiding my blush with the back of my hand, all I offer is a disbelieving head shake before grabbing the closet book to me. Not even bothering to check the title, I toss it onto the tousled comforter just to crawl back over it. Positioning myself over his body, his eyes followed mine as my lips pressed lightly over his bandage, not ending until every part of his sacrifice was covered.
"Thank you for saving my life." I whispered.
Feeling his hand cup the side of my face, he guides me back up to his side before placing the abandoned book back in my hand, head resting against his shoulder.
"You may not realize it, Camilla but you saved my life too."
*****
The time I had initially planned to spend here has long passed by now. None of us really acknowledged it as I slowly began moving my stuff into my room, books, clothes and more personal items like my favorite blankets and hoodies.
Nancy had even been over a few times, helping me set up and harassing me repeatedly for details about the night Gregorio fucked me. I had almost forgotten that this was what life was supposed to feel like. Content and happy. They were helping me to heal.
At the same time, though. Things were a lot different than the ways they were before. As time passed, it grew more and more apparent, Adriano had grown into his title of a Don. Domenico and him were always on trips for an assignments while I made sure Gregorio was letting his body heal. He was too damn stubborn to relax and enjoy a few weeks off but it was kind of nice knowing he was getting some time to himself.
It was Domenico and Adriano I needed to work on next. With the mystery of how the shooter was even able to get into the house along with why he bore the emblem of my father's Mafia, they have barely even slept. None of us have. I can't see why my father would have ever sent someone to kill Gregorio, however that in itself left an even scarier truth, one that opened the doors to a heap of new possibilities. Someone in his organization went rogue.
There were thousands of people I never met over the years l had lived there, however they all would have met me. From speeches to word of mouth, everybody was aware of the anomaly of Lucas's only and oldest daughter.
"Camilla?" Gregorio's voice traveled past from the other side of my closed door, suddenly making me aware of his previous light knocking that got lost in my thoughts.
"Come in," I gave a low about as I marked the page in my book, laying on my stomach in bed in the sweater Susan and Nancy crochet for me as an early present of my birthday.
Apparently, Susan has been teaching her in exchange for picking up a few shifts at the cafe on their busy days. Tilting my head to the side, I watched as he opened the door, noticing once again how much better he has gotten since that horrific night. He still needs some support from the wall sometimes but he was overall better in more ways than one. Smiling as he came to sit by my side, I felt his hand run slowly up and down my back, a stray strand of hair from my messy bun falling across my forehead.
With a temperature drop and a whole lot of snow, we have been relaxing inside for most of the day, trying to stay warm while I keep these three idiots alive and reluctantly festive. I will admit, it was kind of cute to wake up one morning to find them setting up a Christmas tree in the living room together. Apparently that was the one tradition they have always stuck to considering they all grew up with staff to do it for them.
I smacked Adriano so hard when he tried to trick me as I was hanging ornaments high up on the tree that I am pretty sure he still has a faint imprint of my hand on his bicep.
It makes me smile just thinking of it.