Chapter 278: We Have Got You
Chapter 278: We Have Got You
Camilla
"We are not mad, princess. In fact it makes a lot more sense but we think you might be going through some withdrawal symptoms and the trauma you experience isn't helping…" Adriano hushed in a soothing way that I hated, knowing all of that was bullshit anyways.
"Stop it," I trembled weakly as I pressed my back up against the headboard until there was nowhere left to go.
"Just stop it, there is nothing wrong with me so quit looking at me like I am some delicate flower that is about to crumble." I muttered, wrapped my arms around my knees like it was some sort of barrier worthy of doing something.
I was trying to distance myself from them because that is all I knew how to do now but Domenico didn't seem to want to let me do that. Slowly, as if he didn't want to scare me, he slid over to where I was and copied Gregorio's position to my other side, sitting beside me and even going a step further to take my hand into his while keeping his grip loose enough that I could pull away should I choose.
"You are right," he mumbled as he lifted my knuckles to his mouth, kissing them lightly before placing our joined hands into his lap.
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, darling."
I drew in a sudden breath as I lifted my eyes to look at him, finding nothing but honestly lingering in Domenico's eyes. I so desperately wished I could believe him when he said that but I just couldn't. Even though he was technically agreeing with what I said, it was the sadness in his tone that told me he didn't believe I was okay ultimately.
"Perfect," I pulled my hand away as the word slipped through my mouth, tucking it back into my own space where I was able to remain in the shadows.
"Then, what exactly is the point of this conversation?" I sighed as I felt Gregorio let out a breath beside me, still giving me my space but reminding me I wasn't alone here.
With Adriano sitting right in front me with the other two at my sides, it was impossible to retreat into myself no matter how hard I tried.
"Because what you went through matters." Adriano said unfalteringly and showed no reaction at my quiet scoff, waiting for me to look back up at him with a type of patience I didn't understand.
"You are not okay, Camilla. Nobody in your position would be but you don't have to continue to live in fear now." He urges me to listen and the second I move to hang my head, to hide, strong fingers were caressing under my chin and forcing me to be eye to eye with him.
"You got out," Adriano muttered and as I tried to pull away harder, he just pushed right back.
"You got out, Camilla. They can't control you anymore and we were more sorry than all the stars in the sky that we tried to do the same when we first got you back."
I wasn't able to top it as a single traitorous tear slipped past my cheek but Adriano caught it and brushed it away with kindness, apology and forgiveness.
"Last night after Gregorio replayed his conversation with Jacob to us, we stayed up talking about the best courses of action to help you." He said, my mind urging me to pull away again but my body remained lax in his touch.
"We have a personal doctor right here in the city for disclosure reasons and we think it wouldn't hurt for you to talk to him. It wouldn't give you full control over what happens after that fact and if you want to take the advice he can offer."
I knew the reason for their special disclosure was because any normal doctor would likely go running to the police after some of the injuries I am sure they have sustained and I couldn't help but feel a little relieved at the thought that I would have reins. On the other side of things, however, all I could think about was the fact of what talking to a doctor would mean and I just couldn't do it.
"No," I shook my head before I could allow myself to change my mind, refusing to become some psycho patient that felt like she was losing her mind.
I felt like that enough already on my own, I didn't need some doctor telling me the same thing and confirming that there was something seriously wrong with me. I saw the tension pass through their bodies at my straight up refusal but there was nothing they could say to change it. My decision was my own to make and I didn't need them looking at me like I was all fragile again. Perhaps, that was all they had ever been able to see now.
"What are you afraid of, sweetheart?" Gregorio asked softly as he brushed his knuckles down the length of my arm, the one still curled around my legs to try and protect me from the truth l just couldn't face.
"I promise he won't tell us anything about his assessment without having your explicit permission to do so."
But even with the promise, it didn't change a thing. It couldn't.
"No," I said again, a little more firmly to show that I needed them to back off.
There was no fixing me now and I wasn't about to give myself the hope of pretending otherwise. Gregorio didn't falter a second, though. Still looking at me while I refused to return his stare.
"What are you afraid of?" He asked again just as intensely, not backing down or trying to shelter me like he had been before.
I could hear the raw emotions in his voice as he slightly begged for my answer, looking to get something out of me and realizing with my silence he wasn't going to. What happened last night, the ring, their presence here now. It didn't change the facts before me and I knew that all I could do was just accept my fate.
"What are you afraid of, Camilla?" He demanded and this time my heart started to beat a little faster, my skin growing warm with nervousness as the words of my tongue response held on my tongue.
If I admit it, I can't hide anymore. I can't run or block out my experience like they never happened. I will have to face things head on and I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to survive it.
"Camilla…" he began again but with a leap of faith, I squeezed myself just a little tighter and spoke.
"The second I start talking, people are going to think I am crazy and I can't stand the idea of you looking at me like that."
I watched as all three of them opened their mouths to deny what I said, to tell me that I wasn't crazy and that I was just sick and I didn't want to hear the lies.
"Don't you get it?" I shuddered, tears falling down my cheeks.
"I needed the drugs, I wanted them. I needed to get back to you and I tried, I tried so hard but it never worked." I cried, my words coming out slightly choppy but none of them criticizing me for it.
"I just wanted it all to go aways and I wanted you but I couldn't and…." I began to blubber as I started to break down hard and when they realized that I couldn't talk anymore, Domenico was the first to move.
As though I were featherlight, he placed his hands around my waist and lifted me effortlessly onto his lap, my side resting against his chest and my head resting against his shoulder as he just encouraged me to cry. At this point, I am not sure I could have stopped even if I wanted to. There was something so freeing about being back in his arms, letting his scent envelope me and his gentle but supportive touches keeping me grounded
I heard the bed shift as Adriano crawled over to sit at our side while Gregorio drew closer as well, almost like they needed to too. It felt so good to have everything out in the open between us, my heart feeling lighter as though it were being physically sewn back together with each tear I let go of.
"Good girl," Domenico whispered as he rocked me slowly back and forth against his chest, his hands repeating soothing motions clearly meant to make sure I was okay.
"Just let it all out, we have got you."
As he continued to offer words of kindness, a part of him I have missed more than I could imagine, I listened. I listened and stopped resisting as he held me, Gregorio's hand smoothing up and down my back and Adriano interlacing his fingers with mine.
Even with the steady stream of tears flowing down my cheeks, I felt happy in this joint embrace, coming in terms with the things I have spent countless months trying to suppress and lock down in hopes of pretending to be strong. I didn't feel strong right now but I also knew nobody was going to be able to hurt me so long as I was in their arms.
"Domenico?" I sniffed against his chest as I felt his chin rumble sounding in his throat telling me he was listening.
"Am I going to be okay?" I whispered sadly, wishing so desperately that he would tell me a way that was capable of getting me through this.
"Of course, my darling. You are." He replied just as softly, the steady motions of all three of them making me believe that they had no doubt about it.
I wish it could be as simple as that for me, I wish I could still see the future where I wasn't always feeling this way.
"But how do you know?" I asked, giving up a piece of my vulnerability and placing it back into their hands.
"I know because you are…you." He smiled slightly even though there was still sadness residing in them.
"And the woman I love is too damn fierce of a fighter to not be." Domenico muttered.
His words did something to me, it was as if some of the burden in my life had been lifted. It was as if there were rays of hope in this darkness I called my life. For the past one year, I shut down all hope, all happiness and have been running away. But these three men never gave up on me. But why?
Why do they want to help me when I don't even want to be out? I don't want to feel anything again. I don't deserve their love and care.
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