Chapter 126: I Will Kill Him
Chapter 126: I Will Kill Him
Gregorio
I sensed Camilla's understanding when she planted a kiss on my shoulder and again when she slipped her hand into mine, allowing our joined fingers to rest on her thigh.
That in itself told me everything I needed to know, I wasn't a burden by needing to talk. A part of me always naturally felt like that but Camilla also didn't seem like the type to run away when she finds out my mask of smiles and cocky remarks l often worn to hide what I am truly feeling at times.
I let out a deep sigh as her hand rested against my neck, holding her closer when I asked the question I have been wondering most lately even if it is one that is probably best left unsaid.
"How can you forgive us so easily?" I mumbled, trying not to tense or break down or really feel anything right now.
I felt her shift slightly in surprise but in response, she only let out a soft puff of air as if unsure herself. For a moment, we remained in complete silence to the point where I thought she just wasn't going to answer.
"Can I tell you a story, Gregorio?" She asked instead, her hand gripping noticeably tighter to my arm.
Furrowing my eyebrows slightly, I angle my head down so I can see the waves of her hair but she has turned away.
"Yes, of course." I said, stroking a few of my fingers down her arm and catching the feeling of the small goosebumps forming, despite the hot weather.
I could somehow tell this was something I was to listen to and not interrupt.
"Promise me, please promise me that you won't get mad." She hummed against my shoulder, still not meeting my eyes but never pulled away from me at the same time.
I gave her my word without a second thought even though I worried for her and didn't know how to help the essence of sadness now releasing from her. In the end, I only pulled her close, giving her gentle touches in encouragement. I feel as though that is the best thing I could offer her right now.
"I was twelve years old the first time my mother brought home Edward, my step-father." She began, picking her nails from the obvious discomfort she was feeling.
I don't even think she knew she was doing it but either way, I took both of her hands into mine, holding them together on my thigh.
"She had just been through her divorce with my father but on the same day, she brought Edward home and insisted that he was my new father and I was to address him as such. I guess that part doesn't really matter as much as it used to but I remember that day was the first time I had ever felt true fear."
I felt her swallow and tried to clamp down on her nerves but she didn't have to pretend with me. She didn't seem to try anyways.
"He wasn't a very good man…" her hands tried to fidget in mine so I simply intertwined our fingers together, causing her to pull back and look up at me.
Understanding flickered over her face in appreciation as I brought her hand up and planted a kiss on the soft skin, my thumb rubbing in wide circles. I didn't miss the water building up around the shell of her eyes and while all I wanted was to kiss her and try to take away the pain she was sharing, I knew the thing that would best help is for me to simply listen. So that is what I did.
"He uhm..he was actually pretty great at first." Shd continued, pulling in her knees to her chest.
"There was even a time my father had come over for dinner with Edward there and we were able to act like a civilized family."
The memory of it flicks over her features, longing for that to have remained clear in her eyes.
"But, of course, that was too good to be true." She paused for a long moment as if contemplating something hard in her head.
"You swear you are not going to leave?" She asked after a period of time, looking straight at me.
It broke my heart because I knew her words were caused by previous experience when people likely ended up reacting in horribly wrong ways. Squeezing her hands for a second, I responded to her.
"I promise you with everything I have to give, I am not going to be mad at you or leave you or even pressure you to say something you don't want to."
She was still silent for a moment as if those words seemed so foreign to her.
"But…" I continued.
"At the same time, I don't want you to feel like you need to tell me this story if you are not ready to. You have control over this, I will just be here when you need me, okay?"
A tear falls down her cheek but my hand lifts and brushes it away before it can even fall.
"I just feel like you have the right to know about some of my scars but I don't want you to hate me for them either."
A part of my heart definitely shattered for her at this point but I didn't let her see it. Pulling her close to me until she was between my legs, I let her back rest against my front as my one arm wrapped around her waist, the other moving to play with a few strands of her hair.
From her most recent words, I had a feeling I knew where this was going. I also knew during previous discussions together she always seemed the most comfortable when she was physically being held tight.
"You will never be obligated to tell me about that if you are not completely doing it for your sweetheart." I said into her ear, needing her to hear and understand this.
"I could never hate you, no matter what you tell me and I swear to you there is nothing you could say that would ever make me feel less of you. I am sorry there have been people who have."
I kept taunting her, refusing to make her think even for a second l spoke anything but the truth.
"You don't owe me anything." I hugged her from behind.
"If you are going to talk, make sure you are doing it for yourself and no one else. And if you decide you want to leave out certain parts or just stop speaking entirely, that is okay too."
I was glad when she seemed to relax into my touch, my words appearing to have relieved some of her distress. Things soon grew quite again between the two of us and I just let it stay that way.
If and when she is ready to continue, I knew she would tell me. However, the words that came next caused a stutter to occur in my heart.
"I tried to kill myself when I was fifteen years old."
The sound of her voice and the feeling of sudden tears against my hand broke the silence between us. It wasn't until many seconds later that I realized a single tear had fallen from my eyes as well.
"There were always random pills in the house, thanks to my mother and when Edward…."
Her bottom lips quivered and her increasingly uneven breaths soon forced her to pause her words. Warm tears kept falling from her face and even though this new information pained me to hear, I only held her tighter, placing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Edward came home one Saturday with my mother passed out on the couch, he decided he wanted to see me instead."
I closed my eyes when I felt her body begin to shake, trying to comfort her in any way I could while reigning in my own emotions.
"I was sleeping on my bed, but I woke up to him. He was….he was doing things to me over top of my sheets, saying things into my ear that I wished I could forget but I can't. I tried to stop him with my words first but he never did."
I could hear my heartbeat in my ears with every thump, the rage and sadness and pain I felt all mixing until I couldn't tell them apart.
"He may have been drunk, sloppy but he was too heavy and I didn't have the muscles or the training back then to defend myself."
When she trailed off to take a deep breath, something about her changed. Her expression seemed to harden even though her relentless tears refused to stop falling.
"That night, it turned out his alcoholism was both a blessing and a curse because before he could do anything too much farther, he passed out on top of me. But the damage has already been done."
The fury ringing in my ears was nearly deafening and I knew whether that piece of shit fell unconscious or not, he was going to die by my hand. I will definitely kill him.
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