Chapter 236: There Was Nothing Left For Me
Chapter 236: There Was Nothing Left For Me
Camilla
"You will stay, won't you, princess?" Harper asked, looking to where I still remained, unmoving from the spot she had dragged me to.
'As the Don, Camilla. You know I won't let you go.'
Just another set of handcuffs even if they weren't physically around my wrists. I looked at Adriano who wasn't even looking at me, showing no reaction as his little niece has taken up his nickname for me. Then I looked to Domenico who was the opposite, leaned forward on the couch with his elbows propped on his knees. All he could do was stare, Gregorio's attention, a combination of playing with Harper and giving me a glance that he wasn't ashamed to show were ones of desperation.
"No," I said, not sadly, not angrily and not gently. I simply speak even if I would love to stay and see Harper for a little longer.
"I am actually just leaving once I have my things returned to me." It was not a question but rather a demand to all three men to collect what they took.
I couldn't possibly leave in this kind of weather in short and I am currently regretting not stealing a pair of Domenico's sweatpants while I was alone in his room.
"She is staying." Domenico asserts, partially to Harper but mostly to me.
It made my blood boil and we all knew we would not be causing a scene in front of the little girl. Not wanting to dance around each other, I simply turned and left to go back upstairs. Knowing that the chance of me getting my dagger back were slim, I opted for something else that would help, better freaking clothes. Hearing heavy footsteps behind me, I didn't bother looking back as I strode right into Domenico's room, closing the door and locking it without a single bit of regret.
"Camilla?" Gregorio gently knocks only a second later as I go over to the large dresser on the side of the one wall, opening the middle drawer to find Domenico hadn't changed his organization at all. He had stacks of neatly folded sweatpants on the left side, all freshly washed and way too big for my waist. But they were better than these stupid shorts anyways.
Even as u hear the knock at the door click back to it's normal place from the outside, I stripped off the bottoms Domenico had dressed me in, not caring that Gregorio could see me as I shucked the material onto the bed.
"Contrary to what all of you overbearing dicks believe, I am not staying here unless you physically force me down." I said, bending and stepping into the smallest pair of his sweatpants I could find.
Pulling the drawstring tight, I tried a quick bow and thankfully left them mostly snug around my hips, providing me some sort of protection against the soon to be chilling air.
"And as much as I would like to see you try, Gregorio." I continued, kneeling to roll the bottoms of both pant legs until they sat nicely at my ankles.
"I think we both know that it would be a fight you would lose."
Just as the last word spilled angrily from my mouth, I was tempted to jump as a pair of brown shoes were dropped at my side where I was still crouched, Gregorio having snuck up behind me. Telling just by looking at them that they were my size, I picked them up in disbelief before taking the time to slip both of them on. I wasn't going to acknowledge the fact of what he had offered and I most certainly wasn't going to thank him even with the pained look across his face.
"Camilla?" He called my name again as I turned straight to leave, walking up to my front when he saw I had no intention of stopping.
He didn't grab me or force me to listen and I didn't want to think about how hurt he looked as he placed his hand on my shoulder, sliding down the length of my arm until his fingers brushed against my own. He intertwined his touch in with mine, soft enough that I still had the ability to pull away should I desire but strong enough to show me how hard he didn't want me to go.
"Please, stay." He whispered, squeezing my fingers a little bit as his eyes fell shut.
"Please, sweetheart. Please stay." He begged but I couldn't, no I wouldn't.
In another world, I would want to, I would tell him yet and know that everything could be okay again. However, we don't have another world, we only have this one right here and I am leaving. Stepping into him, I let myself rise onto my tip toes, if only for a moment. I shook in his softly grasp as I placed a single hand on his shoulder, tilting my head up until I was close enough to feel his cold exhale.
"I am sorry," I whispered in return as I watched a tear fall past his closed eyes, spilling down his cheeks before I moved to kiss it away.
Just once, a thank you because I knew that he understood what it felt like to be trapped in a house of gold.
"I am sorry." I said again and I meant it not just for him but for everything every single one of us has lost in this last year.
There are ghosts of ourselves that remain inside of the shattered pieces of our hearts and right now, I was laying Gregorio's to rest. Savoring one last second, I let him go and pulled my lips away and loosening jt grip around his hand. His eyes remained closed long enough that I didn't see the iciness of his gaze again as I walked around his tall body, numbness wrapping around my every being with each step away from him. This time, he didn't come after me.
Loneliness was a drowning force that I felt washed over me again and again as I made it to the stairs, my features hardened by the time Domenico and Adriano were able to see me. I walked down and gave Harper a kiss on her head while her tiny arms wrapped around me, saying that uncle Adi already explained that I wouldn't be staying for lunch today and that she wanted me to come visit her again soon so we could color together some more. I gave her every bit of kindness that I had to offer because she deserves it all and when I eventually began to leave, Adriano did nothing but watch me.
With a car already waiting outside for me, a decision on their part that I didn't show my surprise of, there was nothing left to do.
"Camilla, wait." A voice called out to me just as my hand met the door handle and I listened as I froze, some part of me begging myself to stay, another part telling me that this place was a home I no longer belonged in.
But still, I waited as I felt Domenico walked by me, tense and conflicted. I held my breath at the sight of him grabbing a coat from one of the many hooks at the front door, one that was heavy and suitable for the freezing cold weather awaiting me just a step away. I had thought he was about to tell me I wasn't allowed to go, that I didn't have a choice but to stay with them but he didn't. Instead, he wrapped his jacket around my body and watching as I placed my arms into each one.
Reaching down and moving the zipper into place, his eyes held no mine as he slowly pulled it up and encased me within the heat of both the thick coat and his intense gaze.
"You were right." He said quietly, his head dipping down as his hands dropped away from my body.
"And I am sorry."
But even with his apology, I walked out of the door minutes later, knowing one thing and one thing only. There was nothing left for me here.
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