Chapter 203: Don't Let Her Bite Her Nails
Chapter 203: Don't Let Her Bite Her Nails
Gregorio
This was worse than any fate death could bring. I felt her slipping away from us the second she saw that file and again when she walked out the door crying with her hands wrapped around her stomach. We should have told her but we waited too long. There is only us to blame for this and fúck to say we were paying the price was an understatement.
Losing Camilla was the worst kind of pain I have ever experienced but it was the fear that came with her absence that made it so much worse. She was supposed to be safe in England right now as a temporary vacation, the three of us planning on how to get around the assignment we were supposed to be religiously preparing for. Instead, I am currently sitting outside Nancy's house, tapping my foot nervously on the concrete step at the feeling of eyes on me.
I have felt them since I stayed all throughout the night, neither Nancy nor Camilla leaving the house once. My instincts are very rarely wrong but I have also never been more distracted and off balance than I am right now. I wasn't here to plead for Camilla's forgiveness, I am here to ensure her safety. It was the least I could do at this. Whatever Domenico and Adriano went about busying themselves with wasn't my problem.
So I stayed where I was stained with eyes, my body cold from the night and my face swollen from the tears not even I could fight off from spilling. I promise to respect her space the second she codes to walk out of our door but I had no doubt Raphael was well aware of our…was it a break up? The thought alone sent yet another wave of terror straight into the blood in my veins, however I couldn't allow myself to falter.
Raphael knows she is here and I would rather die than have him lay an eye on her one more time.
The sound of glass shattering into a million pieces had my heart stopping, the window being the first that came to mind. I had people all over the property but I wasn't about to chance wasting the time to circle the house. I went to the only thing I could think about and that meant going in. Finding the door locked when I tried the handle, I grabbed the key I had in my pocket as a precaution, not wasting a second before moving inside and drawing my gun.
It was eerily silent but my quick scan of all the windows proved them to be intact. She has a window in her room though and that knowledge terrified me.
"Leave her alone, Greg." A voice came from the kitchen, my body spinning to find Nancy crouched on the floor with broken porcelain at her feet, the colorful design of what used to be her glass in a pile of small pieces.
Thank goodness, Camilla is okay. It was just a mug. Raphael would never go after Nancy because of who her parents are but the woman I know who is just across the room is exactly the kind of person he would target.
"Get out! You are not welcome here anymore?" She pointed to the door, wiping her hands against her thighs as she stood to her full height.
I don't know what Camilla told her but I know Nancy would defend her to the end of the earth just as I would. It is good, at least she is not entirely alone. Her words still hurt, though I was at fault for causing Camilla pain and as she should, she sides with her. We may have been friends for years but I would never forget the way she was looking at me right now.
"I just want her safe, Nne," I said but she was already shaking her head as she physically shoves me backwards.
"You don't get to call me that anymore." She hit me again, not to hurt me but to let out that little bit of anger I knew she hadn't been able to relieve.
"Don't you realize what you have done to her?"
I didn't miss the way her voice had dropped to an angry whisper, just as I didn't ignore the aching in my chest as a result.
"I need to see her, I don't want…."
"I don't care what you do or do not want." She interrupted me.
"She is sleeping because she was up the entire night shaking on the bathroom floor. She came home silent and the second the front door closed, she collapsed to the ground. Gregorio, she didn't get herself back for three good hours."
Not a single breath left my body as she spoke, my eyes facing the door to her bedroom but my ears trained on every horrible thing I was told. Every horrible thing I was responsible for.
"I didn't go to work today because she won't eat and I ended up sleeping on the couch outside her room last night because she kept waking up screaming from nightmares. She knows you have been outside since yesterday and yes, whe has gotten every single text message Domenico sent her in apology. Camilla doesn't want to see you and after everything, I think you at least owe her that."
Nancy winced silently when she saw tears start to fall down my cheeks all over again but it was because we both knew she was right even when we wished she wasn't. I don't know if what happened yesterday was Camilla breaking up with us but I felt the grief of it either way. We should have told her everything a long time ago, yet our selfish cowardice only left despair in the end.
After she had trusted us with her father's belongings from her village, it was I who had the task of looking into the prints and identity cards. The ultrasound pictures of her half brother was the worst discovery of them all though. I know how to research and while Camilla would never admit it, I knew a part of her despise that her father was never a permanent figure in her life. Sure, Lucas was there but he never stayed for any more than a few days to make sure Raphael's people didn't link him to his family.
Mable was different though, they met two years before Camilla was born and the pair had a one night stand and never heard from the other again. Lucas didn't even know he had a son until the boy was fourteen years but it wasn't a coincidence that he and his current wife ran into each other again. It turns out that they both have a mutual agenda and that is the downfall of Raphael Jaxson and everything he stands for.
While Lucas was away hiding, leaving Camilla behind, he got to raise the boy, Camilla's brother in the ways she never got to have. There was so much we should have told her but the conflicting part of ourselves didn't want to hurt her in that way either. It didn't make our secret right but it also didn't come from a bad place either. I would give Camilla the time she needed even if it killed me to do so but I would never give up on what we had or have, I don't even know the word to use but I prayed it is have.
"Quite frankly, I have no opposition to having extra eyes on the house considering who you are but I am not risking her passing out again from spiraling if she sees you in here." She said, crossing her arms over her chest and I know it would take physically moving her to get to Camilla's door.
I know when I wasn't wanted and the daggers shooting my way we're more than indication enough. Nodding my head once just enough to show I heard her, I wiped at my eyes as my fingers came away wet. There was so much I would say if I could right now, I would say I was sorry. That even though Camilla didn't want anything to do with me right now and rightfully so, she would always have a home with me.
I am not one to carry regret but hurting her will forever be the one thing I will never forgive myself for.
"Make sure she keeps the acrylic on." I whisper the only thing I can think of as I slowly back away to the door even though every instinct in my body tells me I need to be with her.
Even though I have no right to wish this, I can't stand the idea of her hurting anymore than what we were already caused.
"What?" Nancy asked, catching her off guard but I only shook my head as I opened the front door of her house.
"Don't let her bite her nails."
Not waiting for a response, I stepped outside and gently shut the door, locking it behind me to be safe. I don't know you could grieve somebody who was still alive but when I sat back down on the cold, unforgiving concrete step, I felt like I had lost everything.
However, despite that, while I didn't deserve it, I found peace in the fact she was at least asleep now. Hopefully dreaming of a world where everything didn't hurt so damn much.
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