Chapter 207: The Last Decision
Chapter 207: The Last Decision
Domenico
"I know that I am hurt, I am angry and sad…." She paused for a while.
"But I also know the reason this hurts the way it does is because I still want you three above everything else."
My heart stopped when her eyes finally looked back up at me, feeling as though the world itself had stopped within a single moment. Neither of us looked like ourselves right now but we were still us, just a little more complicated.
I was completely stilled as she took a single step towards me, tears beading in her eyes but not falling down the rosy pink of her cheeks. She planted a hand right on my chest where my pulse thrummed nervously and then she tilted her head up so I could really see her. I could see the light freckles across her nose only visible at this proximity and the curve of her jaw I have spent hours studying in past times when we have cuddled. I looked at the slight tint of brown you can see around her pupils before it fades into a bright color. Before looking down at her mouth where the dip of her cupid's bow reminded me of all of the time I had spent kissing her there.
She was a canvas of memories I would never be able to forget and if the time comes one day where she decides she doesn't want us anymore, I know that won't change a thing for me. I will never be able to love anybody that isn't her again.
"Domenico?" My name rolled off her tongue in a current that has the power to bring me to my knees and when I raised my hand to cup her cheek in the way I have been wanting to, she utters the words that tear me apart.
"I still love you."
I watched as her eyes tracked the tear that fell down my face before pulling my head down to hers, resting her forehead against mine as her sad exhale passed across my cheeks. Like I said, this wasn't forgiveness but it was an understanding. One in which that left me both whole and destroyed all over again.
"I love you too, darling." I whispered against her lips, despite how stained and heartbreakingly mournful those words were.
"There will never be a world where I don't." I added.
There was a pause for a moment and then she rose on her tiptoes that remained centimeters before her lips brushed against mine, the feather light touch intangible yet so incredibly strong. She stayed like that for just a moment and it was then I realized what this was. One more kiss, one last kiss that was going to destroy me the second she pulled away.
After another tear fell from my eyes as I let her hold me but when her tears began to mix with mine, I moved and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into me until she was clinging onto my shirt as though it were a lifeline. With our eyes shut in sadness, we seared our time's end in the same place our story began. The place where she kissed me for the first time and took my heart as her own. Over and over, we drew ourselves back in as if neither of us were ready to let go. To let go of each other or the mornings spent in the other's embrace. Of all of the firsts, we had shared and the people we have become in the time we have been together.
Never in my life have I helped on something as selfish as my love for Camilla but I also knew that no amount of pleading could dissolve the distrust my mistakes have left scarred across her beautiful heart. I know she wanted to be able to forgive us but some things just weren't that easy. When the inevitable came and we eventually pulled apart, our forehand rested together as they had so many times before. Only it was not the contained, intimate act it had once been. This time, it felt like goodbye.
"Please, Camilla." I begged her one last time but in the end, it only brought us both more pain to hear it.
With her hands still clutching tight to my shirt, I cried as she gently removed them, her bottom lips trembling from the unforgiving weight of our end. Her voice cracking, I closed my eyes as she whispered what I knew was a decision. The last decision.
"I can't,"
And despite the fact we were still standing together side by side, we both broke apart in each other's absence.
*****
She didn't come to bed when she pleaded to be left alone on the balcony afterwards. I could still taste the faint hint of cherry on my lips from the very kiss that in fact drove me to my knees but it just wasn't the same knowing it would be the last time I would experience it. Since then I had been lying awake for hours in my room, debating between whether I should give her the space she asked for or try to promise yet again we could find a way to fix this. That we weren't over yet.
The thought of if she was still on the balcony flooded my mind, wondering if she was cold or if she needed something. We had set her up in one of the guest rooms at her request but what if, what if. I didn't need to look in a mirror to know that my eyes were red and puffy, lined with dark circles from my lack of sleep. I missed her already and every time I think I can handle the thought of her leaving once the dust settles, my body proved myself wrong.
'Please, don't let this be the end. Please let this be some fucked up nightmare I can fix by simply opening my eyes.' I said to myself but only when I did, everything still hurt.
Giving up on any hopes of finding sleep tonight, I pushed myself up onto my forearms, my denial being my only aid in succeeding in even that. I was going to go see Camilla because I couldn't live with the idea of her feeling alone even when it was my fault…
"Domenico!" I heard Gregorio's voice yelling in panic a second before the sound of something large smashing traveled to my ears, my hand grabbing the gun in my bedside drawer as instinct took over.
The first person I thought of was Camilla and I could only pray she had gone back to the third floor where her bed was for the night.
Whatever was happening was from the level below me and I needed her safe. There is no way someone could have gotten into the house but if it were Raphael, I don't even think our own wards could keep him out.
"Fuck!" I heard Adriano cursed this time but when I ran down the hall and over to the stairs. All I saw was something in my brother's hand before the glint of metal caught my eyes.
One of the wooden bar stools was broken into splinters on the ground, however the second it was obvious there were no real threats in the house. There was only one other reason Gregorio would be looking like he was dying. In Adriano's hand lay a metal ring, the one he had gifted to Camilla as both a tracker and an engraved symbol of our power that almost guaranteed her safety from everyone but those foolish enough to cross us. The only question now was where was she?
"Adriano?" I tried to coax as I tuck my gun away within my clothing, moving down the stairs as I then noticed the slight crumpled piece of paper in Gregorio's hand.
Denial clawed away at my mind at what I suspected it to be but I needed to calm the third of us down before he fell into one of us episodes that looked weeks to bring him out of. I needed to calm Gregorio down first.
"He took her," Adriano growled as he paced his hands pulling at his hair so hard that I feared he might pull it out.
"He had to have because she is smarter to leave like this. She wouldn't have taken this off."
His thoughts came out as one jumbled stream of words but all I could think about was the way my throat was tightening and my hands were shaking as I got to Gregorio's side. He didn't even look at me, grimly handing over the sheet of paper that had Camilla's handwriting on it. I didn't understand, while we had her car brought to our driveway from Susan's, there was no way she could even step foot off the premises without us being alerted.
Gregorio balled his fist as he silently looked at the ring clasped between Adriano's fingertips, leaving me with no other choice but to read what I already feared.
'To Adriano, Domenico and Gregorio, I really don't know where to begin, but I suppose apologizing is a good start. I know you wouldn't let me go on my own and that is why I had to leave no matter how much I appreciate the space you were all willing to give me. I promise where I am going will keep me safe but there is too much happening right now for me to stay here.'
Clutching the paper between my hands, I looked up to make sure what I was reading was real. That Camilla had left us and didn't seem like she was coming back.
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