Chapter 173: A Coward
Chapter 173: A Coward
Gregorio
"Camilla is the best thing to have ever happened to us and we messed up by dragging her into our problems." Adriano said but Domenico seems to be anything but done with this conversation.
"We messed up nothing." He said with a quiet certainty that left no room for lies.
"Above all of this, nothing can change the fact that is related to Lucas by blood and mind. If things were different and we never met her at that hotel, Raphael still would have tracked her down eventually. We would have been given the orders to kidnap and torture her as both leverage and to send a message similar to what we have been doing now."
It was like no matter where things took us, it all led back to the one thing we would never be able to move on from. It is Camilla.
"Then what ifs don't change anything?" Adriano argues and while they may be true, it doesn't sway from the fact that Camilla was going to be a part of our lives either way.
"Maybe not, but unless you are dead, becoming the Don is an enviable part of your future, brother. We should at least give our girl the chance to decide on her own how she wants things to be." I said, once again being selfish.
Camilla would never leave us and it is going to take dragging her out kicking and screaming to push her away. But on the other side of things, I selfishly wish I could just lock her up in a life that I know could provide security.
"Why can't you fucking see that I am doing this for her?" Adriano snapped, standing from the couch and walking away to distance himself from us.
"Camilla is the one thing in this world that cannot die and I don't care what it takes to make sure she lives until she is old and gray. On July 13th, she is going to be placed in a safe house in England and will remain there until things settle down."
"Why does it have to be goodbye then?" I asked, standing up as well.
"Why can't we tell her to lay low for a mouth or two and then bring her back to us once it is safe?"
What has changed so much in the span of a few days? The Adriano I grew up with would fight to the ends of the earth to keep Camilla by our side but right now, he seemed to be doing everything but that. I looked in disbelief at Domenico who continued to remain silent in his own thoughts but with so much in the line right now, I couldn't afford to hold back my voice.
"What happened to you promising to be hers always?"
It was a low blow, one hard enough to show a flinch in Adriano's eyes. Although, I couldn't bring myself to care all that much when he still wasn't letting out the whole truth.
Ever since we grew up, we have only fought once and it was about something none of us could recall now. However, I could feel the hostility radiating off all three of us and it was a feeling I doubted we would be able to forget.
"Being with Camilla's always doesn't matter much if she is dead. Now does it, Gregorio?" Adriano asked, my patience thinning rapidly from whatever internal self-hatred battle he was having with himself.
If anybody else proposed taking my Camilla away from me, they would already be knocked out on the ground. I never thought this would be a conversation we would be having but there is a lot about that has surprised me.
"Don't act like you are doing this for her." I spat, walking over to him so he couldn't continue to shut himself off.
"You are doing this because you are a coward."
We were close enough now that all it would take is a single stride before being able to hit the other but even though I knew I was the weakest one in this room, I would not accept the future they were trying to create.
"A coward?" Adriano said in a tone I have seen people piss their pants over out of fear. Good, he was finally starting to react.
"I think you are scared and insecure that Camilla is going to finally see every version of you. See you for how you truly are and cherish all of the things you have been brainwashed to hate."
Domenico stood up at this point, ready to intervene if somebody chose to throw the first punch. Little did he know that I was just as angry at his silence as I was at Adriano's words. A humorless laugh left the man in front of me and it was dark enough to have ice licking down my spine.
"Yes?" He said, tilting his head in irritation.
"Like what?"
I saw from the corner of my eyes Domenico opening his mouth to stop me from what I was about to say but he needed to hear this. I was done hiding behind the barrier of filtered truth and even more filtered lies.
"You are scared about what Camilla is going to think when she learns about how you got that scar." I said, referring to the night a knife was slashed down his face, just barely missing his right eyes.
Everybody who is a part of the mafia knows the story behind the mark Adriano has worn since the night of his seventeen birthday and if Camilla where to stay, her finding out would be unavoidable. Raphael raised his entire life to believe scars were a sign of weakness. That if you were truly successful, you never would have earned one to begin with.
Adriano was not an insecure man but the permanent cut through his eyebrows prevented him from looking in mirrors because he didn't want to see that part of himself.
"Don't talk about shit you don't understand."
I hit a nerve with him and while I may not be able to see things the way he does, Camilla can.
"You finally found someone who loves you and it terrifies you that you feel the same way." I land the final blow, just for the first physical one to be placed.
I shoved back so quickly I knew the movements were ones of someone who has been trained their whole life, Domenico keeping me upright before slamming Adriano back into the wall.
"I don't want Camilla dead anymore than you do but don't take your shit out on us when we were in the exact same boat." Domenico finally cuts in, not allowing himself to fold under the pressure of Adriano's dark gaze.
"All three of us idiots fell in love with a woman who deserves so much more but you can't act like she hasn't chosen us as much as we have her."
"Letting her go is choosing her!" Adriano yelled, getting under Domenico and shoving him away just as he did me.
"You weren't the one that saw her dead on the ground but I did."
Our chests were all heavy with our erratic breathing and when I looked at my brother, when I truly looked at him, I found tears of panic and regret built in his eyes.
"I know that girl wasn't Camilla but for five seconds, I thought she was. I saw a bullet wound through the head of the only woman I have ever allowed myself to get close to and those few moments were the longest of my life."
I watched as he slid down against the wall, sitting on the plush carpet of my office as Domenico and I followed in exhaustion. When I walked into the house a few days ago and found Adriano breaking by our elevator, I knew Raphael's gift was meant to imitate our girl but I never felt the seizing terror that it could actually be Camilla.
"The thought of saying goodbye has been tearing me apart but I would rather watch Camilla grow old with somebody else for a thousand lifetimes than have to relieve those five seconds again, knowing I was responsible for it all."
Gosh, I wish I could continue to vent my anger on him but I couldn't. Not when I had been so fucking blind to believe he was sending her away because it was the easy choice. Letting go of her was the decision that would ensure things could never be the same, the one that would make everything fall apart.
"She deserves an explanation." I said, trying to hold back my sobs and nearly failing.
Neither Domenico nor Adriano disagreed with my statement and I almost feel as though that made things worse. Camilla deserves the choice of being able to decide how she wants to live but we have a choice too. We have the choice to keep her alive and just because she is willing doesn't mean she should have to die by our side because of the future we have been promised to.
This world is unfair and we can only try to make it through each day. Saying goodbye being the price of caring for someone so much you would let them go. I never used to believe in the kind of love Romeo and Juliet had but that was until I met my own love story, my Camilla, my sweetheart.
"England?" Domenico whispered as he hung his head against his propped knees, a tear that mirrors my own slipping down his cheek.
The word felt like acceptance but I don't think this was something I would ever come to terms with even if I understood.
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