Chapter 11 Hopeless feelings

(William's POV)
The first time I met Lena Lester, I wanted to describe her as a treasure.
She is the lost pearl of angels.
When she first looked at me with her purple eyes, I admit that I fell completely for her beauty.
But I also understood that Lena didn't like me.
She was smart enough, to be honest, and kind to anyone, and I knew exactly where I stood in her mind, but the idea of wanting to be lovers with her never changed.
Lena has refused me so many times that in the end, she didn't even have to keep refusing.
I know that she is helpless in her pursuit of me, and even I am trying to persuade myself that clinging to a woman who has absolutely no idea about herself will not end well.
But I'm still willing to go for it. No one will be unimpressed once they get to know her.
I was closest to Lena when she was at the bar, but of course, I used to just think that she liked the job.
She never complained about anything in front of me.
Although I know that a stable girl should not work in a place as complicated as a bar, support is something I respect for Lena as long as she likes it enough.
But it wasn't until a few days ago when I went back there to look for her that Nina told me she had left.
There were no goodbyes, or rather, goodbyes were a luxury for me, and Lena didn't need to do that to me.
I thought she had left the city forever until I met her here.
She hasn't changed at all, still as sexy and moving as ever, and her eyes, with just a slight squint, can make my breath stop.
There was only so much subtlety. I thought that it was just time and circumstances that had changed Lena and made her more mature, but Rafael's appearance broke my mind.
He is a devil.
I know he hates me because of some of the things my mother has done, and I can completely understand the hatred towards me.
But I don't understand why, and on what grounds, he had to involve Lena when he humiliated me!
I thought it was not too late for me to stop Lena from getting caught between Rafael and me, but as I watched her being pulled into the office by Rafael, it was surprising that Rafael was doing such nasty things to her.
Raphael was cruel and heartless, and I thought he would only put that attitude on me, but he did the same to Lena.
I was engulfed in my anger.
But no matter how I pounded on the door, there was no result. I could not free Lena, but only watch him being tortured by that demon.
Definitely won't let him off the hook.
(Lena's POV)
When I woke up, the sun was about to go down.
Rafael put his jacket over my body as he sat at his desk, doing his work in earnest.
At this moment, it was as if I saw him as he once was.
Rafael once asked me to be his girlfriend, and in that handsome face, I could see his tenderness and love.
He loved me without any hesitation so I also thought for a while that there would not be anything that could come between us.
But I was indeed abandoned by him, even at first could not get a proper reason, he just left me.
Now, he has long since ceased to be Raphael.
But the fact that it happened today is still a constant reminder to me that once was all in the past tense, and our current relationship has long since found no joy beyond the pain.
Rafael noticed my gaze and he looked up, surprisingly not very angry with me, but of course, he looked no better, still with that cold look.
But I knew that he had lost his anger.
"How is your health, do you need to eat?"
Still, while being questioned by him in this way, I could notice that my cheeks burned up for a moment.
It looks like a long time has passed.
"No, I'm not hungry."
It was a subconscious refusal, I didn't want to ask for something from Rafael, but it was obvious that he could easily unravel my lies.
"I've asked Martha to prepare dinner."
But whenever Rafael doesn't treat me in that rough way, I'm happy to admit that he's a meticulous enough person.
Just a pity.
"Thanks, Rafael, but I remember you came to ask me to work for you-"
But I did nothing and was so overwhelmed with great fear and sadness that I ended up passing out straight away.
I saw Raphael's eyes narrow, his gaze had wavered a bit but remained silent.
It's a disaster for me when something like this happens.
Of course, I can't go against his will, but I should at least fight for my power.
"Aren't I here to be your translator? Then you should give me a task to complete, and if the job you're talking about is just for me to put on a suit and wait around to be used by you whenever you ...... want, you might as well have me in your home, cleaning your house."
"It's your failing today, Lena, are you accusing me?"
He still wasn't angry about it, and he seemed even more curious about it.
I took a deep breath, took his jacket off, and after redressing myself, looked at Rafael.
"If you hadn't done something like that."
Raphael suddenly laughed as he leaned back, resting against the back of his chair, and then, surveying me with the kind of gaze that didn't exactly make me comfortable.
This kind of gaze reminds me of prey targeted by predators, who enjoy the look of their prey struggling and don't care whether the other side will be in pain or not.
It was Raphael's pleasure, and I heard pleasure in his tone: "After you fainted, William kept knocking on the door, but that door was impossible for anyone but someone with authority to open it, and of course, I don't know if I did anything to you or not, and I rather hope he misunderstood, and he said to me words that had no effect, and then left. "
I looked at Rafael, and the hand hanging at my side clenched and finally loosened weakly.
"Seriously, I thought he could have at least held out a little longer, and maybe I would have talked to him and told him how well you were spending your time with me."
"What are you trying to say?" I felt my body tremble, but there was no way I could just rush up and slap him in the face.
"Do you know why he left?"
I shook my head.
"Because he had a very important meeting, and originally, he was supposed to have a touching reunion with you at this meeting, but, unfortunately, in this way, it would probably be more memorable for you, right?"
I let out a deep breath and tried to stabilize myself by doing so.
Raphael's expression had begun to look pleasant, he was happy to see my pain, it was a way for him to punish me.
"Yes, it's a pity, Raphael, but I don't want to hear that from you, nothing is going on with William and me, you don't have to speculate freely about our relationship, that sounds irritating."
"He probably doesn't think as you do."
Rafael didn't believe what I said.
He directly and coldly rejected my words, stubbornly insisting on his idea that I had no more say in the matter.
"I have now ......"
After all the things you've already agreed to do with you, why are you holding on to other people around me?
"What?"
"It's nothing." I sighed, still intending to save myself the trouble; in fact, saying it that way might make me seem a little more unruly.
He never loved me.
It was completely dark when Raphael took me back, and we didn't say a word after that, he was determined not to give me a decent amount of freedom.
Back at his villa, for the first time, I didn't cook dinner for him. This inevitably gave me some illusion, as if I was the mistress of the house.
But that's not the reality.
Rafael went straight upstairs after dinner. He was busy with his work, as busy as the naked eye could see.
Martha glanced at me and gave me a very slight smile.
"Miss Lester, when did you and the young master meet?"
She used that very sweet tone of voice as she cleaned up Rafael's dishes.
I don't resent any of this, but it does seem more than a little uncomfortable.
"A long time ago." I simply recalled those vague experiences.
"Are you his wife?" Martha continued to inquire, and I watched as she moved to clear the table, already a little too full to eat.
"No, I'm not."
"That's no wonder." Martha's tone lightened.
I didn't want to admit for a moment that I had a little bit of a loss inside me, but that's what happened.
I am not Raphael's wife, and no one would treat his wife so harshly and rudely.
"Martha, help me put these away, please."
"I'm sorry, dear, but you need to take these things away yourself, I'm just responsible for looking after the young master and his wife, not you."
It was only now, when I looked at Martha, that I fully understood exactly what her earlier gaze had meant.
Did she see me as a competitor?
I blinked and didn't say anything.
"Remember, clean up after yourself, Miss Lester, the young master has some cleanliness issues, and you will be scolded by the young master if you get too dirty." After Martha said these words, she pushed the meal service cart past me.
I looked at the food that had cooled down in front of me and leaned back somewhat helplessly in my chair.
Packing up is something I can do, but Martha sounded like she was saying I was just a thing that could be thrown away at any time.
Raphael's momentary love for me, if such could be called love, probably made many people's eyes water.
But I, even at this point in my life, what I want most is to leave.
I want to leave him, I am no longer afraid to love him.