Chapter 17 Lena's Choice

(Lena's POV)
"Your mother loved you, Raphael, and if she wanted to leave, she could have done so long ago, so why do you think she didn't?"
I looked at Rafael and for the first time, I felt so strange about this man.
He wasn't always strong, all people aren't always strong. Because circumstances, experiences have shaped who we are now. He and I are so different and so much alike.
And this, in fact, he never told me.
Raphael's cold and handsome face appeared for the first time with such a gaze, he did not know, what his mother really could not let go of, or, he never thought about it.
Rafael was in my mind just an ordinary man with uncommon experiences, and when he chose to talk about them in front of me, I was reconciled to him.
Those betrayals and disputes.
All of them are not worth mentioning.
"What do you want to talk to me about, Lena?"
I smiled at him, "You know, I didn't hate my father just because he tried to control me, imprison me, or, didn't give me good enough, it was that I found out that he didn't have an ounce of love for me at all, and my mother didn't know that, and of course, they all said that I took my mother's life away from her."
Rafael suddenly came over, he lifted my chin and gently caressed my face with his fingertips. I did not resist such a gesture, and then, I smiled at him.
"Don't worry, I don't feel anything about any of this anymore."
"Lena, you don't have anything to do with your father anymore, do you?"
My heart twisted for a moment, remembering the paternity test, remembering what Mary had said to me.
"At least I don't think he wants anything to do with me."
As I looked up at Raphael again, I suddenly had a moment of puzzlement: "Why are you suddenly asking about my family?"
Rafael looked at me, his gaze was very calm, but the words he said were going to make my heart jump out of my chest.
"Lena Lester, the agreement was only momentary, and I want to marry you."
I think the world might be all wrong.
After Rafael said that, my breath instantly caught.
I suspect that I heard wrong, if he was asking me to sign and write some agreement, a job, or something like that, then naturally I wouldn't feel so scared again.
But, he said he wanted to marry me?
God! Are you kidding me?
"Rafael, aren't we in a bit of a hurry?"
I inquired tentatively and he looked at me and gave a soft laugh, "We are still within the time frame of the agreement, do you think you can refuse me?"
That's just shameless!
As I tried to silently express my protest, Rafael suddenly clapped his hands.
I didn't have time to finish my words before someone pushed open the office door.
They pushed in a huge cake with seven tiers, if I had to say where I have seen such a luxurious cake, I was only at someone else's wedding, and that cake was much more modest than the one in front of me.
"Hey! Rafael, you're not thinking of marrying me directly here, are you?"
I saw the cake delivery people look at each other, and then - I pretended not to see the embarrassment on their faces - they turned to me and said, "Happy birthday, Miss Lester."
I reddened my face because of the words I just said, and when I looked at Raphael again, his expression was no longer as cold as he had been, but very gentle, as if he was very pleased with what was happening in front of him.
My heart suddenly calmed down.
Rafael waved his hand at me, and then, he told all those who were delivering the cakes to stand down.
"Don't you know it's your birthday?"
I opened my mouth but didn't say anything.
There was a strange feeling that filled me, making me a little lighter, a feeling that was familiar but very distant, like getting the gift you wanted at Christmas when you were a child.
But I'm pretty sure I haven't had such a vision in years, because I haven't had my birthday for a long time.
"I know." I walked over to him and let Rafael take my hand.
The feeling of being remembered is always touching, and naturally, I am no exception, but I find that so much of what Rafael does these days is about me. This is one thing I have no way to deny.
But does he love me?
If you didn't love me, why did you leave without a word and disappear without a trace in the first place?
My heartfelt empty for a moment, but that feeling disappeared again when I cut the cake with Rafael.
I thank him, from the bottom of my heart, with all sincerity, to Raphael.
The time I had agreed with William had arrived, and Rafael didn't even have time to say goodbye to me because of his work. I watched his car go away by the window of my room, and then change my clothes before going downstairs.
"Are you going out?" As I put my coat back on, Martha stood in the doorway and looked at me with a questioning gaze.
I gave her a look and then gave her a very official smile, "Yes, Martha, I'm going to work for Raphael's company, do you have any questions?"
"Is Mr. Raphael asking you to work at his side? Then why didn't he bring you along on his business trip?"
I turned to look at her and the words I had prepared ended up stuck in my mouth.
Martha's words did not make me angry, but she made me very miserable.
Also a woman, I think we can all feel each other's feelings, to be honest, I pity her, in love with someone who will never be possible, but still cling to not letting go.
And it's not just her.
Everyone has people who can't make decisions easily, and we happen to be just because of the same person.
"Because I'm not the one he needs most this time, Martha, and I'm happy to share the work he wants me to share, not make a fool of myself showing him my worth, that's obnoxious, and I think you should have a deep appreciation for what I'm saying."
After saying these words, I stopped lingering, and as a result, I didn't see exactly what kind of expression Martha put on my face, but the moment I closed the door and went out, I so much as thought I heard her say, "Please take your time."
Hopefully, she was speaking from the heart.
I got on the bus, stopped at the intersection where I was supposed to get on another bus, and turned around and walked in the opposite direction from Rafael's.
To be honest, this is indeed very risky, but I no longer have any room to modify the plan.
The environment in the bar is so noisy, at this time I stand inside looking at the scene here, but the feeling is completely different from the first visit.
Hopelessness is what hits us in the bones, and it is the vast majority of people who covet such an undignified yet glorious life. I am just a poor person who happens to have the opportunity to pull out.
I was suddenly tapped on the shoulder and turned my head to see that it was Nina.
"Come on over here, honey, it's just too crowded and he's been waiting for you there for a long time."
I took a deep breath, nodded, and followed Lena.
Pushing the door open, I saw William sitting on the couch. When he saw us enter, he stood up and greeted us directly.
Then he grabbed my hand and seemed to be checking to see if I was hurt as if Rafael was a beast.
"Lena, I'm sorry I'm just now coming to your rescue."
I blinked, then slowly pulled my hand out of his.
To be honest, William's face was also hard to look at, he looked as if he had lost weight and didn't have the same spirit as before, and the slight relief at seeing me was what made my eyes water.
"I'll watch your back, Lena, this is your last chance."
I knew what Nina meant, and I knew it was the last chance.
William told me to sit down first and tell him everything that had happened these days.
I just told him about Rafael asking me to sign the agreement and the fact that I was already working in his company.
Nothing else was said, and even though I should have said it all, I chose to keep some things to myself.
"This bastard! Lena, don't be afraid, I'm here to save you, will you come with me?"
"No." I interrupted him softly.
"William, I don't know what's going on between you and Rafael, but there's one thing I'll tell you, I'm not going with you."
"So you're going to keep staying with that bastard?"
I looked at William, obviously wanting to say something to deny, but those words could not be said anyway.
My mind could only recall the way Raphael smiled at me, the engagement, the birthday cake, all his tenderness ...... I found that I was incapable of saying that I did not love Raphael.
William looked at my expression and probably already knew the answer. He no longer pressed me, but leaned back slightly and leaned back on the couch.
"I'm sorry, William."
"No, it wasn't you who was wrong, Lena, it was me who didn't think that you were out there to reject me."
I looked at William and he didn't look at me, but continued to talk to himself, "You know what? I thought I could save you from Rafael's hands as I did three years ago, by beating the punks away, but I didn't think there was another idea."
He said these words like a joke, even the tone of voice was light, only when he looked at me, I could still see the heartache in his eyes. I don't know when my eyes had filled with tears, and as he laughed, I laughed too, and the tears just slipped away.
"I'm grateful to you, William, more than anyone, but I think you should have understood long ago that I can thank you with anything but my feelings from the time you saved my life three years ago."
"I'm sorry."