CXXVII
CXXVII
We stared at each other from across the parking lot for what felt like hours, but was probably minutes. I was staring at him but he stared at something over my shoulder. I turned to see that Kenny was also staring at my father with a frozen look on his face.
A frown puckered my brows and i try to make meaning of it.
"What..?" My question was cut short.
My father had walked up to us. Looking at Kenny with an unreadable expression.
"I have been looking everywhere for you. Your lawyer would not give me your phone number."
My father's accent is thinner than I remember, his voice raspy from years of working in a factory. The voice pulled a string in my heart. I did not realize how much I missed my father until I heard him speak. I want to reach out and hug him but he was not sparing me a glance.
Kenny swallowed.
"Yes sir.. I uh.. don't give my personal number to strangers." I wince at how entitled I sounded.
"Not even ones you cause problems for?"
Kenny spared me a glance, as if checking to see if I was alright. It was sweet of him, but I wanted my father to spare me a glance instead.
"I am very sorry about that, I asked my lawyer to settle everything with you, but I need to tend my apologies. It was extremely rude of me to cause problems and just drive away. I am honestly very sorry."
"He settled everything well. And I am grateful, I got more than I wanted from him."
My father thrusts his hand out and Kenny grasped it in a rough handshake. I scoff openly. He was shaking someone else but was ignoring me.
"Let me introduce myself, I am Kenedy Russell. And also your daughter's boyfriend."
My father's eyes flicker to me for a split second. My heart sank as he ignored me again even after Kenny made sure to include me.
"Are you here for her mother?"
"Yes sir."
My father nods. And starts towards his truck. I dart out my hand and grabbed him by the arm.
"Are you not going to see mom before you go?"
"You are here now, you can pay for it."
His voice lost all the warmth he used to talk with Kenny earlier.
"You aren't visiting?"
He scoffed, "You are one to talk. How many times have you visited her? Just pay and leave."
Anger bubbled beneath my skin. I felt my nostrils flare.
"It isn't about you. It's about my mother. How about you get your head out of your ass and see that."
He turned to face me. His face contorted and red.
"Of course it isn't about me. It's about you neglecting your mother all these while. And suddenly you act like you are the perfect daughter. Get your head out of your ass."
"Please. Your wife and mother would not want you to fight like this. Please." Kenny jumps in. Literally standing in between us.
I back down. Shame enveloping my entire being. He had seen me like that. Fighting with my father when I was supposed to bebmaking peace.
"You are right. You should not have seen that. I will leave you two now." My father says apologetically. Of course he would apologise for that. Not for making me leave the house at a very early age and neglecting me.
"You should stay, your wife would want to see you two together again." Kenny's voice was soft as he says this.
Maybe it was the softness of the voice because my father does follow us inside, hanging behind. Even when Kenny and i argued who should cover the bills and Every thing, he hung back without saying a word. And after Kenny paid the bill, he cheated, made me look away and swiped his card in, the.attendant looked less than pleased about our argument. We walked to where my mother's urn was kept, they placed her in a new shelf, courtesy if Kenny.
I cried so hard my entire body shook with tears. Kenny let me cry for my mother, I missed her, and because I was sorry for being a terrible daughter and not caring enough to come by all these while.
"I'm sorry I am such a terrible daughter to you and dad." I cried.
"You aren't the worst."
I turned to my father and i see him. Really see him. The years were unkind to him. He looked older than his age, his hair was disheveled and peppered with grey patches. He smelled of dry sweat and looked exhausted.
I fell on him and cried. I begged him to forgive me. It was my turn to take care of him and i was not doing it. Instead all I did after seeing him for the first time in years was to fight with him.
We cried together. Asking each other for forgiveness. I did not even notice Kenny slip out to give us privacy until there were no more tears to cry.
"I missed you a lot." My father murmured into my hair as we sat on a bench and i rested my head on his shoulder.
"Why did you not look for me?"
This question bugged me every day. He could have searched but he did not. It was like he did not care if I lived or died.
"Because I was ashamed."
I sat up so fast my head spinned.
"What?"
"I had nothing but debts to offer you. I could not make you go to college because I could not afford it. So I let you be. It was better to be alone doing what you wanted than to be with me where I could not give you anything."
"You had love to give. I missed you. I wanted to come home bit I thought you didn't want me because I didn't go to college."
He shook his head.
"I never once stopped loving you. And I'm grateful that your mother helped us meet here and your boyfriend didn't let me leave."
A smile bloomed on my face at the mention of Kenny.
"You love him a lot don't you." My father chuckled.
I nod shyly.
"I hope you continue to be happy forever with him."
"Me too."
"By the way. He looks familiar." My father tilts his head in confusion.
"Yeah. You said you met before. When he nearly caused an accident."
"Not that... He looks like those guys in the news."
A small frown perched on my brows.
"What guys?"
"The ones killed by the crazy Clyde killer."
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