LXIV
LXIV
For the first time I was the one to pull away from the kiss. Her expression mirrored my feelings, I felt the same way but I was better hiding it. Unfortunately we could not keep going back and forth, she rejecting me, then kissing me, then rejecting me one more time. It was an endless rollercoaster. And I was the one free falling each time she changed her mind like that out of the blue.
Plus, she had Adam. I was not one to jump into conclusions, but I needed to know if they were something serious, or she was with me to get back at him.
"We need to discuss this before going any further." My voice sounds hoarse to my own ears. I sounded like I was suppressing something.
Her dazed eyes rest on my lips, and she shakes her head as if she was trying to get rid of the thoughts.
"This?" Her voice sounded thick. She noticed it, cause she winced.
"Yes this, us. Whatever this is between us. The guy from your apartment the other day. Everything."
She opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it immediately. Before I could get a word in, her phone rang, disrupting the moment. Her face broke into an expression of relief as she answered the call.
A deep sigh escaped my lips. I honestly don't understand why I was so hung up on her, and I can't be certain about her own feelings as they switch at given intervals.
"The seminar is just about to start, thank you for bringing me here. Like you said, we are even now." She was gathering her bags to leave before I grabbed her arm.
"Can I come get you when it's over?" I could only hope my voice didn't sound as desperate as I felt. There was a need for her, for some reason I felt calm around her, for a reason not even sex related, I wanted her around. My thoughts were always racing, sometimes too much that I can't keep up, but with her, I was calm. My mind was calm.
Her eyes darted around the rental car with her lips pursed, like she was deep in thought. Weighing her options.
For a minute I thought she was going to say no, but she nodded yes, melting my insides to goo.
"It's the big hall of the hotel. You can't miss it, we will be done in an hour and half if they keep to the schedule." Was all she said before darting off.
I chuckle, she was so cute.
"Wow, with a smile that bright, you are definitely trying to steal all the ladies here."
I would have jumped at the suddeness of Cam's voice, but once you've lived with him as long as I have, you could never get startled by him.
"You ever heard of personal space?" I ask as I eye him.
He leaned into the car from my side of the window, his face almost smashed into mine. His eyes sparkled as he smiled brightly. Even his smile was annoying.
"So you have a date or what?"
I sigh, I don't know what it was, but it was certainly not a date.
"Let's just go upstairs." I tell him.
He nods vigorously, I can already see it, it was a total waste to pick a room far from his, he was definitely going to follow me everywhere.
"You know you could at least not glare." Cam said from beside me.
He was smiling at every person as we walked past. I snort.
"So I could look like you?"
He frowns a bit,
"How do I look?"
"Like an idiot." I tell him simply.
And he broke into another smile.
"You don't think so, you think it's very pretty."
This time I frowned,
"No, I think you look silly smiling to everyone like that."
"You want me to smile to just you?" He had the nerve to bat his lashes at me.
I shoved him hard he stumbled backwards. I could hear his moronic laughter reach me from there.
"You always say the opposite of what you mean, unless you are talking about Bavard and Lisa."
I frown at him.
"I do not."
"See? You are doing it right now."
I open my mouth to respond but shut it immediately. Cam had his way around my words that's for sure. Always twisting everything I said.
"Stay out." I tell him before locking my room door.
"Hey!! No fair!! Let me in!!" He banged on the room door. I plop down on the sofa, enjoying the cool air from the air con. Miami sun was the hottest the only thing that came close was Lisa.
I chuckle at the thought. Now she invaded simple thoughts like how hot the sun was. I go to take a cold shower, there was enough dried sweat on my skin to last me a lifetime.
By the time I was out I could still hear Cam's banging on my door. I was starting to regret having no neighbors that could tell him to shut up.
I set an alarm in my phone for an hour fifteen minutes, before settling on my bed. Sleep has to come now so no one forced me to do anything for the rest of the afternoon.
Soon enough I drifted off to sleep.
But I was back there. It was dark. Everything hurt. I knew it was a dream. It was obvious it a dream, or else, why was I in the body of a five year old.
I began to pant. Even after twenty something years had pass, this dream still plagues me.
I couldn't turn my neck. I felt something run from my back to the top of my head. And then I heard him. I heard him cackle once. Then twice.
I was no longer just a shivering mess. Now I was full on sobbing. I was a whimpering, shivering, sobbing mess.
My eyes sprang open. They were moist.
I jumped out of the bed. I didn't know how long I had slept, one thing was sure, I wasn't going to stay here alone.
I swung the door open to face a confused Lisa, her hand poised where the door used to be. She wanted to knock.
My relieved eyes met her confused ones.
"Lisa.." I whispered, before crushing her in a hug.
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