XCVII
XCVII
The car was silent as Kennedy left Cam and I to sit and wait by ourselves. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it open with a knife, I don't even know what to say to him, what can I say to a person who clearly did not want me to come with. Should I like keep quiet and just stare? Or try to make small talk. What was taking Kennedy so long anyway? It was just to grab tampons, pay for it and then leave, it was simple as that. Nothing too complicated. At least that's what I think.
"You know Kennedy is just using you for sex, he doesn't love you." Cam finally spoke. His voice was taunting, and somehow I already anticipated he was going to try and throw shades. But it still stung.
"Who says he is using me?" I'm impressed by how confident I sound.
"I say so, I have been his best friend all his life, I know when he is serious about someone. And he has never been."
"No, that's not what I asked. I meant that fact that we are both adults who mutually agreed to sleep with each other exclusively. Nobody is using anyone here. It's very sexist of you to assume I wasn't the one using him for sex." I meet his eyes in review mirror.
He clenched his teeth and unclenched them. I stare at him longer, challenging him. I don't know what his problem with me were but if he wanted to go low, I was willing to dig the earth and go as low as possible.
"It has been very obvious that you don't like me, you don't have to like me to be very honest, but I'm asking that you respect me because I'm human, plus the fact that I am keeping your best friend very satisfied right now. Don't try to be petty with me, I won't hold back." I narrow my eyes for effect.
He doesn't say anything for a full minute so I look away, assuming that he understood what I was talking about. I look towards the window that faced the convenience store, he still wasn't coming out. My stomach was just about to kill me and Cam had put me in a very foul mood.
"Just to be clear, once you guys are done with whatever charade that would definitely not last, he will forget about you. Forever."
I face him with all the fury that was bubbling inside me.
"Who says I won't forget him too? Stop being sexist right now, you sound like a very jealous friend zoned girl that has had an unrequited love for him all her life--" I pause. The look in his eyes tell me what I need to know. It tells me even more than I need to know. Cam was, has always been in an unrequited love circle with Kenny. As far as I know, it will always be that way. He was satisfied with the idea of just being his best friend. And now that I was around, he wouldn't see him anymore. At least not like before, he won't be able to hang out with him the way he liked under the pretense of being his best friend.
"Have you always been a bitch to all the girls Kennedy has dated in the past? Scaring them away so only you could have him?" I ask.
He looked away.
"Cam that is not healthy.."
"Stop. Stop alright. You don't know anything." He sounded so pained that I felt so bad for him.
"He doesn't know, does he?"
He was about to answer and the passenger door swung open.
"I'm so sorry I took so much time, the cashier flirted so much I nearly took her eyes out. I did file a complaint though."
He apologized. I smile brightly at him. I don't know what it was about him, but he made me happy, I loved seeing his face. Seeing his face made me happy, made everything ten times better.
"How is your stomach? It must hurt a lot right?" He looked at my face with so much concern that it was hard not to kiss him. And I do. He chuckled against my lips. Like a lighting bolt, it hit me that Cam must have seen me do it. Like I rubbed it in his face that I could have him and he never will. I turn to look at him, but he turned away from the review mirror and starts to drive.
Guilt ate at me from my insides.
"Here, I got some pain relief medicine as well, I hope this helps with the pain."
The only thing playing in my head was all the times we kissed in front of Cam, he must have been suffering all these while, all by himself, but he continued to put on a brave face and stayed by Kennedy's side like the best friend he was.
I collect the medicine from Kennedy and wash it down with the bottle of water he got. I give him a small reassuring smile.
"I cannot imagine the pains you're going through right now, I wish I could take all of them away from you." He looks at me like I was the best thing in the world. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside as I stare at him.
I realized then that in that car, by that time. Two people had feelings for Kennedy. Cam was in love with him. And no matter how hard I tried to deny this fact, I know I was slowly falling for him too. Who wouldn't? He was perfection all round, his smile was a heart stopper. He was kind, sweet, and thoughtful. Even if I tried to stop myself from falling, even if I had taken different steps since the day we met, I know that I would have fallen in love with him anyhow I tried. It was a given.
"Lisa? We are here." Kennedy shook me.
My eyes were closed but I wasn't sleeping, he cradled me against his rock hard body and it was hard to not melt into him.
He must have thought I was asleep.
I smile at him. He helped me get down from the car, and into the house.
"Where is Cam?" I asked him.
"Oh, he said he was going to celebrate with Jonathan. He already left." I wonder how long I did space out. I did feel bad, I wanted to talk to him longer. I know he was running away from me because I had figured him out.
"Go shower, I'll start working on your resumé, I'll be done in at least ten minutes." He geered me into the bathroom.
"What are you? The god of resumé?" He chuckled at my bad joke,
"Oh Lisa, for some reason your accent is giving Latin, Spanish vibe. What happened?"
My eyes grew wide with fear. I had slipped up.