LXVIII
LXVIII
I spent the whole of Sunday holed up at home, cocooned in a heap of blankets. The weather had a slight chill to it that morning. I sat beside my phone for the most part of the morning, sipping coffee and hoping that my phone was going to ring loudly and he was the one on the line, and he would tell me he was okay and that he lost his phone, that was why he couldn't reach me.
A girl could dream right?
"Do you not know his house?" Quinn asked me again.
I sigh.
"No, I don't."
"So you let a guy know where you live, and you have no clue whatsoever where he does live? Doesn't that scare you a little bit?"
I knew she was trying to help but if she didn't quite parenting me soon, I might say something that I was going to regret later.
"He happened to be in the neighborhood, and was soaked thoroughly. I think I wasn't wrong to lend a helping hand to someone in need of my assistance."
I take a gulp from my coffee mug, it was the last sip on the cup. Getting up for a refill didn't seem like a good idea to me. But I needed to be over energized. Or else I would be plaqued by bad thoughts. Those led me nowhere.
I got up from my cocoon, I instantly missed the warmth my blankets provided. But I had to get my coffee, after all I made a fresh pot.
When I got to the living room if you could call it that, I find Adam standing there. At the doorway that is. He was pleading with Mariana to let him come in. And she was struggling to close it against him, unfortunately his foot was wedged against the wall. Seeing him ruined my appetite for coffee. I really wonder what made him think he could glower at Kenny like that, he wasn't my boyfriend. We had nothing going on. And imagine when he glowered, Kennedy took it seriously and wanted to have a go at him. Compared to Kennedy, he was a tooth pick. I can't say for sure who is too huge or too tiny unfortunately.
"What do you want?" I hold him in place with a glare.
His face looked distressed, he ran an arm over his face as Mariana paused he shoving out of the apartment thing. I followed the movement of his arm against his face, and decided Ken wasn't too big, he was just way bigger than Adam. Plus Adam was very lanky.
"Look.. I.. I don't know where to begin. Can I come in?"
I glower at him harder, he winced physically. Good, now he knows how it feels like to have someone glower down at you. At least he was at fault here, Kenny was innocent.
"You don't have all day." I tell him.
He looked at me wide eyed.
"I am sorry. I know I was wrong and I'm here to apologize. I'm so sorry Lisa." He did look sincere at least.
"Coffee?" I don't know why I ask him that, maybe I miss the days before feelings came into the picture. Feelings were so fucking weird and most of the time unnecessary.
"Uhm sure."
I nod and walk to our trash coffee maker. We got it a garage sale years ago, it looked unsafe, hell it was unsafe, we just never cared for our lives enough to change it I guess.
I pour a cup for him in one of the reusable plastic cups, he accepted it graciously.
"The roof?" I ask him.
I hadn't gone there in months. That was the spot Mariana loved when we first started living here. Then we invited James, Quinn and Sara. And now I was inviting him.
He frowned at me, mostly because he never knew someone could stay on top of the roof, it looked like it couldn't hold a person. So the owner made sure it was out of bounds. But I guess we liked the risk.
I walked out the apartment, trying to get past the neighbors that were outside, I didn't want anyone tattling on me you see. We only went in the evenings and nights you see. When it was dark enough to hide us. But now it was still daylight, this was my first time visiting in the morning.
"Watch your step here, don't put all of your weight." I tell Adam.
He followed me in silence, I liked that.
We finally made it to the open clearing. It was a mess, the roof I mean. Moss was everywhere, the roof held puddles of rain water. But that's not why I came here, I came because people talked freely when they felt light, this place will definite make you feel light.
I walk towards the bench Mariana had brought here one time. She said she hated standing.
"This cannot be safe." Adam finally spoke as he tested the bench.
I laugh.
"The moment you paid for this apartment, you weren't safe any more. Didn't you see the state of the house before you bought it?"
He chuckled.
"At the time, it was all I could afford, so I told myself not to think about the risks."
We both chuckle.
I look over the rest of New York. It was busy as usual. The night time was more beautiful. Now it just seemed bland.
"Do you like him?" Adam blurted.
I turn to face him, but he was sipping his coffee, hiding the lower part of his face while looking ahead intently. He didn't want to look at me. So I turn away from him, face the busy city.
"Who?" I ask. Pretending I had no idea it was Kennedy he was talking about.
"The guy..from that day." He pressed.
"Why does it matter? Why does anything matter?"
"You do like him." He says slowly like he was realizing something.
"No." I say because I know I don't.
Yes, I don't. No I don't like him.
"Then why did you let it drag?"
"Because feelings are stupid, no offense to yours."
He takes a sip of his coffee, not saying anything.
But like I said, this place made people feel lighter, so I start to talk.
"But I do feel something for him.."
"What?" His question was quiet, I almost thought I imagined it.
The thought of him running his hands on every inch of my body made my nipples harden.
"Lust."