Chapter 889 What Am I to You
Phoebe walked into the study, glancing around. Two rows of wooden bookshelves were crammed with books and files. She said, "You haven't changed much, still love reading, huh?"
Donovan moved to her side, watching her pick up a management book from the shelf and flip through it. "It's my only hobby," he replied.
Phoebe smiled, putting the book back and looking up at him. "Donovan, when are you planning to go see Mom? She'd be over the moon to know you're still alive."
Donovan was silent for a moment. "It's not the right time yet."
Phoebe frowned. "Donovan, your 'death anniversary' is coming up soon. Mom will go to the cemetery that day. Do you want to make her sad?"
Donovan closed his eyes briefly and looked away. "Phoebe, it's not the right time. I have things I need to finish. I can't let it all go to waste."
"What exactly are you trying to do? I can help you," Phoebe said urgently.
Donovan shook his head. "Phoebe, I can't drag you into this. It's my vendetta, and I need to handle it myself."
"Against the Vanderbilt family?" Phoebe asked pointedly. "You're afraid Mom will find out your intentions and stop you from going after them, right?"
Donovan's silence confirmed her suspicion.
Phoebe bit her lip. "To you, we're just burdens. Even though you're alive, you never show yourself to us."
"Phoebe!"
Phoebe grew more agitated. "For the past three years, Mom has cried every time she thinks of you. Do you know how much she misses you?"
"That's why I can't show up now and make her sad again," Donovan said.
Phoebe was taken aback.
Donovan placed his hands on her shoulders, speaking earnestly. "Phoebe, spend more time with Mom. Once I settle things with Edward, I'll go see her immediately."
"Donovan..." Phoebe wanted to say that they could let go of past grudges, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Be careful. If you need help, let me know. I'm always on your side," Phoebe said.
Donovan leaned in and hugged her. "Alright, go home. It's late, they'll be worried about you."
Phoebe wiped her eyes and looked down. "I'll go now. Take care of yourself, and be good to Ruby. She's been through a lot these past few years."
"Okay, go on." Donovan waved her off, watching her leave the study before he sighed deeply and walked to the floor-to-ceiling window.
After a while, Trevor escorted Phoebe out, and they appeared in Donovan's view. Trevor walked her to the end of the road before returning.
Phoebe entered the villa and saw Theodore standing on the second-floor balcony, a cigarette between his fingers, looking at her with a deep gaze.
Phoebe stopped and looked up at him. They stared at each other for a moment before Theodore flicked his cigarette ash and asked, "Doesn't your neck hurt?"
Phoebe only then realized her neck was sore.
She lowered her head and walked into the villa, soon appearing on the balcony. She noticed several cigarette butts at his feet and frowned. "Do you have something on your mind?"
Theodore replied softly, "Aren't you my problem?"
Phoebe leaned on the railing, gazing at the distant city lights, her eyes bright and clear.
Seeing her silence, Theodore turned to her and suddenly asked, "Phoebe, what do you think of me?"
His voice was cold and lonely, like it came from beneath a layer of ice.
Phoebe was momentarily speechless, unable to answer.
Theodore closed his eyes, seemingly not expecting a good answer from her. "Since we reconciled, I've wanted to be your lover, your support. No matter what happens, you can tell me and rely on me. I don't want to hide my feelings for you like I did three years ago. But have you ever truly cared about me?"
Phoebe stared at him, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I have, really. It's not that I don't want to rely on you, I just didn't think it was a big deal..."
Vanessa's actions hadn't made her feel humiliated, and it wasn't a big deal to her.
After all, Vanessa had teamed up with Bishop to kidnap her, leaving scars from the whipping. That was the real issue.
But time had passed, and she didn't want to bring it up again.
"Are you angry?" Theodore asked.
Phoebe hesitated. "Not that angry."
Theodore stared at her. "Are you not angry, or are you pretending in front of me? Phoebe, can't you be honest with me? Is it that you don't trust me enough to rely on me?"
Phoebe couldn't argue. Even if some things didn't bother her, it didn't mean she didn't care about his attitude.
Her subconscious told her that she couldn't rely on anyone, only herself.
Seeing her silence, Theodore's expression grew more sorrowful. He turned to the night, his voice tired. "Phoebe, what am I to you?"
Phoebe felt a deep sadness. Though they stood close, it felt like a chasm separated them.
She raised her hand, wanting to hug him, but he suddenly turned and walked towards the door. After a few steps, he said coldly, "Think carefully about what I mean to you."
Phoebe stood sideways, watching his figure fade into the distance. The clouds covered the moon, and the surroundings grew dark.
Phoebe sighed deeply, her eyes wet with tears. She slowly crouched down, covering her face and crying silently.
No one had ever taught her how to love. Despite having experienced two relationships, she was still clueless.
During this time, Theodore had done so much for her, Hubert, Boris, and Noomi. She saw it all and knew it wasn't easy for someone as proud as him.
She had thought about getting closer to him, but every time she wanted to, she just wanted to retreat, to run far away, as if that would protect her from getting hurt.
She hid herself, afraid to face his feelings, and in doing so, she also refused to face her own heart. She was scared of getting hurt again.
But Theodore had taken a big step towards her. If she couldn't respond to his feelings, trust him, and rely on him, they would inevitably drift apart.
That wasn't the outcome she wanted!
Phoebe stood on the balcony for a long time, until the night air almost turned her into an ice sculpture. She finally moved her aching legs and went back inside.
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