Who Is He?
I felt his eyes burn into my back.
His face was hidden under the hoodie, but before I turned around, I was able to look into his bright blue eyes. Sadness, I recognized in it and the sharp lines in his face reinforced the image of a not really happy man. But his aura was strong, his presence was clearly felt in the elevator. When we got out, I tried to look back, but Danner quickly grabbed my hand and impatiently pulled me to our room. This jealous possessiveness of his has been bothering me for a while, I hardly have time for myself, to take a relaxing breath. He is always around me, watching over me and cutting off all contact I have with others. I'm starting to get tired of it now.
Tonight, I insist that we go to the entertainment center where there will be a famous live band. I need to be among other people, not fleetingly as Danner always organizes. I want to talk to people, interact with more than only Danner. We've been in Costa Rica for two weeks, I've seen the whole island, but haven't spoken to any locals. I miss the direct contact very much and tonight I'm going to change that.
After we got back to the hotel room I slept for two hours so that I was well rested to enjoy the evening ahead. I intend to make it into the wee hours, have a good time. I quickly take a bath and when I'm back in the room I see that Danner is still following the news on his phone. He's been doing that constantly for the past few weeks as if there's a certain news item that's on his mind. “Danner, are you still taking a bath? We're short on time before the show starts and I don't want to arrive late," I urge him to hurry. He sighs and jumps off the bed. Before he dives into the bathroom he gives me a kiss on the forehead.
That's also something strange in our relationship.
I hate physical contact with Danner. That's why I still can't believe we're engaged. But he convinced me of that by showing me online articles containing our marriage announcement. He and I happily in each other's arms. But I keep wondering why I'm still not attracted to him, find his touches almost repulsive. Not that he's unattractive, most certainly not. I often notice women staring longingly at him, passing him their phones in napkins. But he remains numb to all those advances, he claims that he has always been faithful to me and there is no narrowing in it. Still, I can't bring myself to have sex with him, every time he tries it is like my mind starts clouding and I have to push him away. It's like I'm in bed with the wrong man.
When I pointed it out to him, he brushed it off as a side effect of the medications I'm taking. After my miscarriage, I fell into severe depression, which means that I still have to take my medication for a few months more, he explained to me. But the more I take them, the further my mind wanders, I notice. He also had an explanation for that, they are strong for me to heal faster. And yes, I want to heal, quickly. I want to go back to a normal physical and psychological state, get my past back. I must have friends somewhere who want to meet me again. Danner claims no, he says I'm a loner and never really liked many people around.
To be honest, I'm starting to distrust Danner. His stories mean little. I don't feel like a loner, on the contrary, I need more company than from him alone.
He gets out of the bath and chooses one of his expensive outfits in the walk-in closet. Danner seems very wealthy, we stay in the most expensive hotels and enjoy the most sophisticated facilities. When I asked him how much he earns, he explained that he owns a very thriving auto retail and repair shop with branches in all major cities in America. He currently has an interim director who manages everything while helping me recover. On his phone, he pointed me to the website of the company, Windfield&Co, and indeed his name as the owner is there. So, he didn't lie about that.
And he also buys me the most expensive clothes. Last week we went shopping in Miami, I was able to buy the most exclusive clothes, casual and formal. I didn't have to look at the price tag, I got to buy anything I liked, Danner said. And so did I. Only a phone I was not allowed to get, he wants me to relax even more before I return to the stressful life, he claims.
When we are both dressed now, he comes and stands next to me in front of the mirror. “There is no wonderful couple than you and me, Loraine. We fit together because we belong together”, he says proudly. He takes me in his arms and hugs me. I let him do his thing for a while before I break free and take my handbag from a side table.
We walk back into the elevator. I look around, it's empty. I catch myself feeling disappointed, I had so hoped to see the man with those heavenly blue eyes again. Oh well, he's on the same floor as us, so I'm sure I'll run into him again. Patience and I’ll be fine.
As we step into the lobby, all eyes turn to us.
Danner is right, we are a remarkable couple. The receptionist hands us the tickets for the show that Danner pre-booked. VIP as expected, Danner always wants the best. Luckily, we are on time and I sink into the comfortable sofa that faces the stage. Everything looks perfect and cozy. In front of the stage, there is a small dance floor for those who cannot resist the temptation.
"Something to drink for you, babe?" asks Danner. I nod, he knows exactly what to bring me. No alcohol, so water or juice. I settle into the sofa more comfortably and let my eyes drift lazily over the people who have already arrived. And then they clash in those blue, deep ones, which stare straight at me. My breath stops, a shiver runs through my body. It's as if the world is fading around us, we are the only ones in this universe. My lips part by themselves as if I want to say something to him. He keeps on staring at me, calling me with his eyes. But then, Danner stands in front of me, blocking my sight with a glass of juice in his hand. “Your drink, babe”…
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