Hard Talk
"Danner, I want to live alone in my own house for a few weeks."
I drop the bomb, and indeed he is petrified by my words. His eyes rise to mine, incredulous in disbelief and anger. “You want, what!”. His lips are a straight line, his face a tight mask. Unfazed, I look back at him. “I said I want some private space. We've been living together for a while and I'm starting to feel caged."
His fork falls back loudly on his expensive porcelain plate.
By no means am I going to let Danner overpower me this time. I stand firm in this, I want to get rid of this strenuous part in our relationship. The engagement and this living-together entangle me, restricts my freedom of movement.
“What does feel caged mean?”, he demands to know in a loud voice. He clearly has none of this.
“Listen Danner, I don't want a fight. But we live as a married couple, I have to keep you in mind all the time. Notifying you where I am going, what time and when. It's all too much. I want a little more freedom in my movements”, I explain to him.
Danner is definitely an intelligent guy, I know I can't get my point across with a simple statement. He's going to fight back hard, move in together and claim me as his fiancée is a triumph for him. He won’t let me go easily. Many envy him, he feels like a king now.
“This doesn't just happen. There's more to it!”, he thunders. "Loraine, I want the truth."
I keep looking at him in silence. “Tell me honestly, does all this have to do with Dordrich? Are you in a relationship or so with him? I want to know!". His voice is loud and hard as nails. His chair falls backwards as he stands up abruptly, staring furiously at me over the table. Jealous and possessive as always. He always manages to overwhelm me in this way, to get his way, but not today. Today it's my turn to get business done. And by bringing up Dordrich, I know he wants to throw me off balance.
Not going to happen.
“I have no relationship with Dordrich. How is that even possible! You’re hanging around me all day, on the phone and in person, how can I still be involved with another man? Just believe me, the only things I want is to have more time for myself, to be alone, to do my own things”, I explain to him in flat voice. In long strides he walks around the table, grabs me by the shoulders and lifts me up.
“It's Dordrich, for sure! He was with you in China, I saw him on screen. According to my information, he got back from Beijing a day before you left there. He was also present at the reception last week even though he is not on the guest list. He was there for you!”, he claims. “I don’t want you with that man! I’m enough for you, I satisfy you more than any other man can. Keep our relationship closed, Loraine!”
I stay calm. “Danner, you’re drawing your own conclusions. I did not see Dordrich in China, whether he was there or not. Indeed, I noticed him at your event in the distance, but I was always close to you, your arms were around my shoulders all night, remember? It is then very difficult to maintain a relationship from under your armpits, you know”, I explain dryly.
Danner continues to stare at me. “When you came back from China you were nowhere to be found that night. Your phone was off also. After that I wasn't really allowed to touch you like I used to do and you always loved. We've been sleeping next to each other for a week without sex, while before you could easily have it every day. Until a few weeks ago you were very physically to me, you could never resist touching and kissing me. I haven't experienced that since you came back from China. You have changed, Loraine.”
“Maybe that's why it's time to be by myself again, to reenergize. I feel trapped as we live now and eventually, we might fall apart it goes on like this”, I say determinedly. “Try to understand me, babe”.
“What you're saying is that we're bringing our relationship back to the stage of living apart together or breaking up completely. Is that the ultimatum you set?”, he asks coldly.
This is getting out of hands, I know Danner hates ultimatums and checkmate.
“I'm trying to come to a re-arrangement with you, no blackmail on my part. You know how much I appreciate you, Danner, I've proven that many times. You are the most important person in my life. You have nothing on me with that Dordrich accusation." The look in his eyes softened after my words.
Tenderly he holds my hair back, raises my face all the way to him.
“And I don't want to lose you either, my love, so I approve that re-arrangement or what else you call it. As long as you’re mine. Name your offer”. His lips caress mine and I move closer to him. I do everything I can to get my things done. “Three days of the week with you in the penthouse, the rest is for me. I then work later and take some time for myself. We do phone calls every night and keep updated with each other’s lives”, I offer.
I wait expectantly for his reply. He overthinks my proposal for some seconds while nibbling on my lips. “Hmmm, you're with me three times a week. I agree if you bring back our sweet kisses, your affection and spontaneous hugs, I want it all back. We have lunch together once a week.”
A smile breaks through on my face. "Danner, you're the best!".
What I don't see is the calculating look as he hugs me!
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