The Light Is Gone
I have been very restless all day. Yes, I am sexually frustrated, Aziel has been sleeping next to me for days without touching me. But that's not my biggest problem.
Aziel is not only physically inaccessible to me but also mentally. He shuts me out completely, when I want to lean against his chest as usual, he turns away from me, when I reach out my hand to touch him, he keeps himself out of my reach.
Mentally I'm broken too. What is certain is that we cannot continue like this, we have to solve tense between us ourselves. We can't live without each other, breaking up is not the answer to our problems.
Dordrich is to blame, I swear! Very finely, he set up the plan to separate Aziel and me. It already started right at my return at the airport by completely ignoring Aziel. He clearly had a hand in the screenplay set up there. And the news items where I'm in his company are broadcast longer and more often from an angle where we seem to be standing close to each other. But I always make it non-verbally clear that nothing is happening between Dordrich and me anymore.
And all these things piled up and now have Aziel on its knees.
Danner, then my rejection, followed by my affair with Dordrich, our break up in Barbados, the rape case, and then the loss of our children. The latter was the final blow to his mental wall. I wasn't there to support him at the funeral, even now we have a hard time talking about that. All these pent-up emotions are now fatal to him.
I have to do something urgently, I don't want to lose Aziel. He's the man of my life, without him I can't breathe. Today I'm going home early from work. First I’ll head to the hairdresser to rinse the red out of my hair and apply the old black color again. Then I go home to cook my man’s favorite dish, pamper him and then have great sex with him again. When our emotional bond is restored, we will be more vulnerable to each other, opening ourselves up.
Just as I am packing my bag, Dordrich enters my office. He knows that I shy away from his presence, only when it’s essential do I meet him. But today he seems to be walking into my room with a mission. “Mr. Fellogan, what can I do for you?” I greet him formally. I've been doing that since I got back, I want to keep a business distance. But of course, he doesn't want to know any about that.
“Loraine, you and I have shared the bed, we have made steamy love and blessed with a son”,”, he begins his seduction, knowing that I am unfazed by it. But he keeps trying. "We're not strangers, call me by my first name, please," he insists, trying to get close to me. But I turn and walk behind my desk so that it is now between us to keep our distance.
“Mr. Fellogan, may I remind you that this is a workplace? There is no room here for sentimental, personal matters. Here we do business, focused on profit”, I correct him. Of course, he has the right answer ready like a tiger watching his prey. “That is absolutely the truth. But the fact is, we have a son and the three of us own this company where we are standing now. We are our own boss,” he adds.
I sigh, I certainly don't have time for this man's worthless word games. “Mr. Fellogan, if you have nothing better to do, no work-related conversation for me, I'll be on my way," I let him know. A devilish grin appears on my face, now is the opportunity to avenge Aziel. “My handsome fiancé is waiting impatiently for me at home, we have a lot to do tonight. So, if you'll excuse me", I grab my bag to back up my words.
Dordrich's face immediately changes to that of cruelty that finally strikes.
“Your fiancée? If you mean that puppy of yours, you're in for a surprise," he grins at me with a devilish gleam in his eyes. “What is he worth? Chased after you for years, watching with sorrow as Danner and I stole you in his face. He only gets your attention when the two of us are out of the picture," he taunts. “But now I'm single again. So he can go hiding his face in the back seat.”
I drop my bag on my desk again, no one, and I mean no one will insult Aziel in front of me with impunity. “Mr. Fellogan, do you know why aged wine is more precious than those worthless kitchen elixirs?” I ask, looking straight into his eyes. “Because those extracts are found in every kitchen. But that aged wine, patience and purity are the main ingredients. What comes quickly runs out quickly.” I raise my eyebrows questioningly.
“Aziel is not a fleeting bed partner that I accidentally got pregnant with,” I almost whisper to myself then Dordrich. “He is my soulmate, we are one soul. We cannot exist without each other.” When he grabs me by the upper arms, my sentimental feeling disappears at once, disgust is all over my face. “And if I were you, I would read the supplement to all agreements between my company and me with the Fellogan Holding. You may encounter unpleasant discoveries.”
I'm really fed up with Dordrich now. I knock his hands off my body and pick up my bag, now determined to leave my office.
“So, I have a nasty surprise for you. I hate to be the bearer of the bad news, but your attitude leaves me no choice.” His voice is harsh and relentless. Never before have I seen this side of Dordrich. I freeze in my steps but don't turn to face him again. “Your fiancée has left, he is no longer in New York. He left you, and if I were you, I would let him have his way. You have better options.”
God save me, but I can't stop myself.
His disparaging statements about the man of my life are unacceptable. I turn around and before I know it, I hear the echo of a loud bang resounding through the room. My five fingers are sharply imprinted on Dordrich's face, he himself looks amazed at my action. He hasn’t seen this one coming.
I hate violence, but he left me no other choice.
With my head held high, I leave the office. But as I walk down the halls to the company garage, I quicken my stride. ‘What if Dordrich spoke the truth? What if I am late and has Aziel indeed given up on our relationship? A simmer runs through my body. I throw my bag and jacket in the backseat, jump behind the wheel and hit the gas. I'll pay the fines for speeding later, I hear some speed cameras recording my car.
When I jerk up the driveway, I see Aziel's Bugatti there. I breathe a sigh of relief. If I see Dordrich again, I'll have a sour apple to pick with him. I grab my things and walk to the front door.
But my gut instantly warns me that something isn't right. I walk into the garage in a trance, and indeed, the SUV is missing. But that's not uncommon, Andre often borrows it when he goes hiking. Now that Kenjal is with him, they must have gone out with Lorrich. But my restlessness resurfaces, my heart refuses to slow down. I press my finger on the sensor, the door pops open and I slowly walk in.
And there on the table, I see a note.
I already know what it says without reading it.
The light of my life has burned out!..