Committed or Not
Loraine
I drove Aziel to the airport and we are now saying goodbye.
After today I am on my own, Aziel remains in my life but at a distance. He now removes his luggage from the trunk and puts it upright so that he can roll in with it.
“Aziel, don't forget me when you get back,” I urge him as I cling to his body. I've been worried for days about what it'll be like when he's gone. He wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. “Not a chance. I'll be back before you know it. You know I can never live without you for long.” We give each other one last deep kiss, he grabs his bags and walks away without looking back to the check-in counter.
These two weeks with Aziel were wonderful.
He distracted me from the confrontation with Elena, made sure that I didn't have time to look on social media to see what has been published from that moment. I know nothing good will be reported about me, Elena will take care of that.
I drive home quietly, enjoying the island atmosphere. Along the way I buy some coconut and orange at a stall.
When I’m home, I throw myself on the couch. Now that I'm alone again, reality hits back on me. My phone that had been off all the time, I turn it on again, my social media accounts flash that I'm back online. My private message boxes are full of messages from acquaintances and strangers, some scolding and insulting, others comforting and encouraging. But now after a few weeks, the storm has passed. The headlines have found yet another juicy piece of news and the matter between the couple Fellogan and I have receded into the background.
I put on a summer dress with a jacket and decide to take a walk along the beach to ease my mind. It rained a bit last night, so the wind is a lot fresher. Lost in thought I look out into the ocean, occasionally standing to throw back a shell. “Loraine”, I suddenly hear softly behind me. When I turn around, I see Michelle, she looks at me concerned, “Are you feeling well? You have rims under your eyes.” I smile at her and reach out to grab her hands. “Yes, all right. Aziel left so I am all alone again. I want to use the time to spend much longer at the beach, I used to have little time for that”, I answer her.
We sit in the sand and she takes a bottle of soda out of the bag she is carrying. Indeed, I forgot to take a bottle with me, Aziel often urged me to drink a lot more in Barbados as the weather can be very hot.
Gratefully I take the bottle and drink it right away.
“Rick and I are going to Saint Lucia this weekend. Just sightseeing and fun. Do you want to join in?” she offers me. My eyes sparkle immediately, visiting multiple islands has always been a dream of mine. Maybe this is a perfect time. “Fantastic Michelle, I'll have Aziel call you about my ticket and discuss other matters. I can really use this weekend out. Thank you for thinking of me," I respond happily. We chat about all kinds of things until it's time to break up.
When I get home, I grab my laptop and search the internet for a new hobby to kill my time. Soon I notice that there are a number of bloggers, who simply write down their life experiences and special moments. That seems fun, but I decide to adopt a fake name. My own name would attract unnecessary attention. I make my own web address and within minutes I'm typing diligently. It's like looking back at my own life, my start as an entrepreneur and the growth of my company. Time goes by without me realizing it and before I know it, the eve has arrived.
I notice that a video call comes in and when I switch on, I see Aziel appear in front of me. “Loraine, I've arrived safely. Got a few hours’ sleep and going to finish some work before I show up at the office tomorrow. Kaylah was Acting Director during our absence, her own preparations to run the mall are already finished. She sent me an email that she would like to have you there when she takes over as director. She has registered the mall as an independent division of Windrug&So with the Chamber of Commerce. The mall is now named Beautiful L. Mall”.
I have to laugh at that, that Kaylah was never original. Who comes up with such a trite name! “Are you going to let her go ahead or planing something more original? Kaylah may be a good businesswoman, but there's always something loose up there. What a name!”. Skeptical roll my eyes. Aziel chuckles at my comment. “I have nothing against the name. She will deal with it on a daily basis and if she finds it suitable, that's fine with me," he says. Aaahhh!
“Aziel, will you give Rick a call? They invited me to visit Saint Lucia together and I'm looking forward to it. Will you arrange my ticket and stuff with them?” I ask. His face clouds and his eyes go cold. “Aziel?”, I ask in amazement. “I haven't left for a day yet and they're taking you somewhere? That's quick," he replies in a strange tone.
I stare at him speechless. “If you don't like it, I'll cancel it. Why are you mad, that's what I don't understand? Michelle just wants to distract me, that's all," I respond in surprise. What happened to Aziel suddenly?
Not quite the old one yet, he nods. “Okay, don't worry. I'll get your affairs in order. It's only the weekend, isn't it?" I nod in agreement, still upset at his rigid posture.
“Loraine, you know our deal. No sex and sleepouts. I'm not with you now so you sleep alone in bed." Aaahhh, that's his concern! The two weeks we were together, we never engaged in sexual acts. So, my Aziel is afraid of the mouse by his cheese.
I keep my two fingers crossed. "A deal is a deal. But we have to agree on a time frame. Because this looks like a committed relationship, but we're not that far." Again, an inexplicable look appears in his eyes. “We are in a committed relationship. You just need to heal before we take the next step.”
I frown but decide to avoid a confrontation...