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"It is our hope that it is that no matter what the circumstances, grieving parents can get through the storms of grief and come out on the other side, stronger, more compassionate, and more appreciative of what we all have right now."– Mark and Linda Triplett. T
**Saturday day of the buriel. **
**Cleo POV: **
Today is the day Valenzano put his pup to rest. Claret has been emotional, West has been himself, and Francis doesn't say much about it. Jazz, on the other hand, is confused about the whole thing. She feels like he is digging up bad memories. No pun intended. The babies are quite quiet today. They haven't been moving like crazy like they always do when I or Valenzano are upset. I watch as he leaves the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around him.
"Hey, babe. How are you feeling?", I asked as he rubbed my stomach.
"How are you and the pups doing", he said, not answering my question.
"They are still. Valenzano, answer my question please", I said, pleading with him. This can't be easy for him. He has to face his sin, his wrongdoing.
"I am okay, worried but okay", he said, rubbing my stomach.
"Why are you worried?", I asked, confused.
He told me about the conversation that he had in his office. As well as the one he and his dad had. I am shocked Francis killed a pregnant woman. What the hell? Are all Pinot men like this? I can't help but think that Valenzano would have tried to do the same thing to me. I would have died trying to kill him. He dresses in an all-black Amani suit. He is sexy as fuck; this is the wrong time for me to be thinking about riding his dick.
We decided yesterday that I will not attend the burial because we don't want any more emotional strain on Avaya. Valenzano doubles the house security and border patrols for the day just in case. After everything is done, I will go pay my respects to my children's sibling. Sitting on the bed rubbing my stomach and watching Valenzano's mind link with someone.
"Babe, I have to go now. Everyone is waiting for me and the guards are escorting Avaya to the cemetery", he said as he kissed my forehead, and headed out the door.
“Stay calm, be nice and understanding", I said than kissed him.
**Avaya POV: **
I woke up and put on the funeral dress my mother wore to my father's funeral. It is a black lace ankle-length dress with lace around the turtleneck and red pumps. I paired it with a black birdcage hat. Walking towards the pack border is bittersweet. I am going to use this opportunity to scope out security. When I finally reached the plot, Valenzano, West, Claret, and Francis were waiting there with an Elder.
"Alpha...Beta...Mr. and Mrs. Pinot", I said with a nod.
"Avaya", Valenzano said with a nod.
"We are here today to bury our dearly departed. A pup that didn't get a chance to see what life can bring", the Elder said.
As the elder spoke, I saw Valenzano, West, and Francis, walk over carrying a tiny gold box. It was then that I lost it and the pain, anger, and rage took over. The strong woman in my broke down and cried. I didn't know why but Valenzano caught me before I feel. It wasn’t until I looked up and saw remorse in his eyes. As the Elder spoke, he asked if there was anyone who would like to say any words. I walked up to the head of the grave and spoke.
"I...I am so sorry, my love. I should have protected you, fought for you, given my life for you. You would have been twenty-five years old, a grown man or woman. Sometimes I sit and wonder who you would look like or act like me or your father. Questions I will never get an answer to. You are with your grandparents and the Moon Goddess now. “
“Sleep in heavenly peace", looking up.
Whe I focused be hind the tears I see Valenzano, West and his mate crying, Francis comforting Claret. I fell to the ground as I cried harder. I felt someone comfort me and looked and she Claret with tears. It was then I realize that bitch is not here. I guess she could show her face and face the fact that her mate is a pup murderer.
"All the sadness, guilt, despair, hopelessness, longing, anger, and frustration are as expected to be running through you right now honey. Your feelings need to be expressed, but always remember that they are at this moment your way of letting go", Claret said as she held me in her arms.
“It hurts so much Claret”, I said crying.
“I know honey. Leave the hurt and pain here. Don’t take it with you. Don’t let it consume you”, she said rubbing my back.
"As a father, I failed my pup and, as an Alpha, I failed to protect a pack member. I should have been its protector, not its destroyer. Avaya, I must apologize to you for my wrongdoing. For the last twenty-five years, you have dealt with a pain that no woman should. And I was the cause of it. And for that, I am truly sorry", Valenzano said.
I can't help but think she is the reason he finally starts to feel guilty. If he would have acted like this twenty years ago things would have been different between us. We would have helped each other carry the burden. Instead of me carrying it on my own.
Once the funeral was over, everyone gave their condolences and apologies. The sorries they could keep it was more to clear their conscience than mine. I stood and watched the grave fill. The silence was what I needed. My heart will always ache for my loss. When the grave is filled, I take a seat at the end of it and just cry. Suddenly, I felt a hand wipe my tears away and I saw Valenzano. He was crying as well, looking at myself than at the grave.
"I meant what I said, Avaya. I am truly sorry I should never have done what I did", he said looking sad.
"Well, what's done is done. We can't go back now, can we", I tried not to cry.
"Were we, not friends before we were lovers Avaya?", the bastard had the nerve to ask.
"Yes, we're friends", I said with a nod, not taking my eyes off the grave.
"I would like to be friends again, Avaya", he said, grabbing my hands.
"If that is your guilt talking, don't bother. You and our pup will always have a place in my heart. But I must move on. There is nothing here for me anymore. No mom, no dad, no mate, and no pup. I need to move on just like you have", I said, trying to believe my words.
"Just know whenever you need to visit you are welcome. Just give me a heads up so they will let you in", he says.
"Valenzano, thanks for all of this. I will take my leave now. Goodbye", I said as I walked toward the border.
“Avaya, listen I don’t care what you did or planning to do. I failed you and our pup. And will live with that for the rest of my life. You held this burden for twenty-five years. Please let me unburden you”, he said looking at me with pain in his eyes.
“Honestly there is nothing you can do", I said.
“I can take your name out of the rogue list. You will be free to find another pack. I am sure you will find happiness”, he said. The fucking nerves of him.
“Thank you. For all of this. For giving our pup his rightful place in the pack plot”, I said than walked away.
“It is my honor”, he said.
“Can I have an extra ten minutes to visit my mom?”, I asked.
“Of course, take all the time you need", he said then left.
I walked to my family plot. My mother and father are both here. My father and I never got along. He always wanted a son but got me. He and mm tried for a son but with no result. He got so desperate and started cheating on my mom.
It broke her heart. He was killed while in the act of having sex with another man's mate. I didn’t agree with him being buried here. But my mother insisted and made me promise to bury her next to him.
“Hey mom. Your grand pup is buried in the Alphas family plot. I should have told you mom. You would have helped me make the right decision. I feel so lost. I am an angry mom. But I got a plan, and it will work. It has to”, I said touching the tombstone.
“Hey mom. Your grand pup is buried in the Alphas family plot. I should have told you mom. You would have helped me make the right decision. I feel so lost. I am an angry mom. But I got a plan, and it will work. It has to”, I said touching the tombstone.
It have been a long day. I cried a lot and I need a nap. As I walk to the mp Ring is out front waiting for me. I told him where I was going and why. Ring said he understood and wanted me to be careful. He looked worried when he saw me. Ring says nothing, he just pulled me into a hug. As I start to cry again.
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