Chapter 104: A Safe Place

“Somewhere for… what…?” I tilted my head while squinting up at him. “What’re you plotting this time? Gonna force yourself upon me again? Or pretend to be my white knight in dazzling armor?”

A wry grin crossed his handsome features. “I mean, I can if you want me to… but no. I want to take you somewhere I go when I need a safe place when my heart aches.”

My eyes widened as I stared up at him. I never expected that Julian would have, let alone need, a place like that. I had to remind myself, no matter how I felt about this unpredictable man, he was only human, too.

*Right…?*

I looked away while giving a little shrug of my shoulders. “...Alright. Show me your sacred sanctuary.”

I was indifferent when he held my hand, reminding me of the feeling of his big hand wrapping around my slender fingers and scarred knuckles, but I couldn’t deny that it was still comforting. No matter how much I was wary of him or even hated him. I glanced down the hallway one last time toward my room, wondering how my mother was fairing and if she was having better dreams than I was. I at least felt comfortable leaving her side with Gabriel around. I trusted him enough to do anything for her by now.

Letting Julian take the lead, I followed him down the staircase and outside. I was expecting to go to the garage and drive off somewhere, but he led me to the backyard instead. With all the activities lately, it looks like nobody had time to clean the pool and I noticed dried leaves were starting to float along the surface; telling me that autumn is on the horizon.

*I fucking hate cold weather…*

We passed the destroyed rose garden that was still covered in ashes with black grass, my guilt forever increasing. The familiar bush we passed made my hand unintentionally flex in his as I remembered the camera, the topic I was hesitant to start with him. For now, I decided it wasn’t the right time.

Julian looked back at me when he felt my hand tighten around his. “Is everything alright?”

My attention snaps from my surroundings back to the man leading me away. “I’m fine. Where the hell are you taking me anyway? You got a secret clubhouse or somethin’?”

A sheepish yet still charming smile crossed his lips. “You got me.”

“Wait.” my eyes widened. “What? For real?” my surprise switched into a scowl. “Do I look like a child to you?”

“You do act like it sometimes.”

“Hey!” I tried to jerk my hand out of his grasp but, as usual, he predicted my reaction, and his hand tightened around mine at the last moment. I didn’t try to pull away again. I knew the effort was pointless but I still wore my grouchy face. “Fucker.”

Beyond the green backyard and the destroyed rose garden, there were rows of trees that led into a forest. I don’t know how big the forest went and I wasn’t sure how much property Gabriel owned. I do recall him mentioning that he was having Grace’s own house being built though. This was always the direction I stared at through the windows in my art room, where I’d watch the moon and stars hover over the horizon.

I grew up on the west-side and have only been living on the east-side for a few months. I can’t remember if I have ever been in a forest before. I ducked and silently bickered to myself, avoiding tree branches trying to snatch my clothes and hair. Despite the annoying plants, I had to admit that it was beautiful. The sunlight dappled and danced the lush forest undergrowth. The ferns swayed in the gentle breeze and butterflies fluttered around purple and yellow flowers. I could’ve sworn I saw something move in a patch of clovers but I was too engrossed in the beauty to give it much attention. I eventually got so caught up in the scenery that I tripped over a mossy rock and ended up plummeting face first, or at least I would have if Julian didn’t catch me ahead of time.

“Are you alright?” his voice held that attentive murmur that sounded like a lovely sympathy again, something I’ve grown used to. This was the Julian I was used to. The Julian I had witnessed recently was a completely different man but now…

I kept my olive-green gaze fixated on anything that wasn’t his face. I felt that familiar fluttering feeling in my chest again and I knew I’d start blushing up a storm the moment I looked into those hypnotizing, beautiful blue eyes. “I’m fine. Do you mind? You’re stealing my air.”

Julian snorted at my odd complaint. He was close enough to my face that our breaths collided, despite how many times it had happened before, this was the first time I complained about it. “Sorry.” he steadied my balance before continuing to lead me to fuck know’s where. “How’re you feeling now?”

I did my best to keep a straight face. Jack’s death was still haunting me like my shadow following my every step. “How do you think I’m feeling?”

The tall man’s hand tightened around mine a bit, but he didn’t look back at me. “Like you lost another person you love.”

My throat tightened when he included my father in the list of my problems. I kept staring down at the mossy ground, not even caring about the briars that were beginning to stick to my jeans and sneakers. “I didn’t love him… at least not like that. I loved him as family.”

Julian finally looked down at me and we came to a stop. His hand released mine and wrapped around my back, pulling me into his chest. I couldn’t prevent my flustered blush this time.

“The fuck are you doing, Jul–”

He placed one of his long fingers on my lips to hush me. Even with the narrow look in his eyes and the way his lips formed the faintest circle to whisper “Shhh” I could still feel my heart fucking vibrating behind my chest wall. He could probably feel my ragged breath behind his finger.

*Fucking HELL, why does he still fucking work me up so much?!*

I didn’t particularly feel horny, it was something else that I couldn’t describe. Something that made my dominant body feel weak. Something that made the heavy rocks called ‘depression and misery’ slowly lift off of my shoulders. His finger ran down my lips, lightly tugging at my plumper bottom lip before cupping my cheek. His lips shaped into that handsome, gentle smile of his.

“This is where I’d come to read my books. And where I’d go when I need to get away from it all.”

I was left speechless when staring up at him. To think he needed such a place was jarring to me. He was such a perfect actor that nobody could tell when something was troubling him.

It was impossible to snap my eye contact away from his and his smile turned into an amused grin, his hand slid down my cheek to my chin and made me look around us. We were in a small clearing that was big enough for only the two of us. Flowers and clovers decorated the ground and there was enough space between the trees to pour down a larger amount of golden sunlight. It was something I had never experienced before, let alone even dreamed about. Shit, I didn’t even know places like this exist.

“Sukia,” he whispered my name affectionately while leaning his head down to press our cheeks together. It sounded as if he wanted to say something else but he held his tongue like he was trying his best not to ruin the moment. His hands roamed my body until his arms could wrap around my small waist and swayed us from side to side, it felt like we were dancing in a slow rhythm.

Those familiar, intoxicating feelings of why I decided to date Julian in the first place came flooding back and the memories of his dark side felt like a bad dream–as if it never happened. A distant memory I was seconds away from forgetting. The only way I could describe it was warmth in my chest that filled me with bliss, more bliss than stealing a thousand golden watches could ever bring me. Something that left an imprint on my brain. Something that made me want to stay trapped in this moment forever. I could see why Julian came here to clear his mind; the forest’s sounds of wind and songbirds brought me inner peace. Peace that was broken when he spoke.

“I love you… so much, my Beautiful. I’ll do anything for you. I’d die or kill for you.”