Chapter 31: What If He Wasn't My Stepbrother?

When our connection stretched on for too long, I was the first to turn my head away with a shaky inhale. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath all this time until I broke eye contact. “I think I’m dried enough. You can stop now.” I kept my words in my usual grouchy grumble.

“Not completely.” Julian pointed out my soaked hair and began to scrub it next with both hands on the towel, unintentionally jerking my head back and forth with each rough rub.

“Ow. Ow. Ow. OW. STOP! Stop! Stop. It’s dried enough. You can stop.” I snapped while trying to swat his hand away. I noticed Julian bite his lip with an expression that showed he was trying his best to stop himself from laughing. “What?” My tone sounded more like a demand this time until I realized what he was laughing at. My hair was a tangled mess now. “Ah, son of a bitch– look at what you did!”

Goddamn is he hot when he bites his lip.

Julian finally couldn’t resist letting out a snort but somehow managed to stop himself from laughing. “Sorry. Here.” His apology is followed by his fingers combing through my hair. His touch was a lot gentler this time compared to when he was drying my hair. He clawed the tangled mess on the top of my head downwards carefully as if he were worried he’d harm me. Slowly my curly hair went back to draping my back.

I couldn’t help but watch him as he attentively fixed my hair. He really was a gorgeous man, I couldn’t deny that. Even though I always found blondes more attractive than any other hair color, Julian was in a league of his own. Captivating blue eyes, the handsomeness of his facial structure, and even his flawless skin made him like a picture-perfect portrait. I can imagine every woman that has ever interacted with him was drooling on the inside and most likely the outside too. Hell, even Amy drooled when staring at him. I told myself that I wouldn’t get attracted to someone like him. But the more I begin to think about it, what was that ‘someone like him’ I was thinking of? I think I understood my frustrations towards him. It’s because we grew up in completely opposite lives.

I assumed he was a weakling not worthy of my time.

And yet, he’s always so watchful and caring when it comes to me. No matter how many times I treated him like trash or belittled him. Why is that?

Does he really like me so much that he’ll put up with my hatefulness?

The more I thought about it, the more I began to feel guilty for being so cruel towards the man. My feelings must’ve been visible on my face because Julian looked away from my hair and back towards my face. His dark blonde eyebrows knit together worriedly. “Why the disheartened look? Is something wrong?”

I quickly looked away from him as soon as he landed his eyes back on my face. What is this feeling? Am I feeling shy or embarrassed? Emotions I wasn’t used to feeling. That and there was one emotion that was completely foreign to me that I would feel each time we met eyes.

What is this? It feels good but… I don’t like it.

I’m not used to it. It makes me have no trust in that emotion. And yet the emotion makes me question myself and my opinions on him. What if he wasn’t my stepbrother? What if the situation was different? What if we had no connections other than being friends? Would we become more? Would I want more? All of the ‘what ifs’ made my head throb with a headache and my chest clutch harder with the unidentified feeling.

“Suki?” He tried to talk to me again when I didn't respond. Once I’m snapped out of my thoughts, I hesitantly look at him.

Why has it become so hard to look at him all of a sudden?

Before I could even respond, he took the towel and wiped off one of my cheeks with gentle strokes. “You’ve got an eyelash on your cheek.”

I instinctively swat his hand away without even thinking about it. Of course, I regret it as soon as I did. I already knew that my regret was visible on my face again just by the curious look Julian gave me. He had obviously grown accustomed to my habits. I still needed to say something at least. “I’m fine, I’m fine… I’m just tired.” I finally mumbled while looking away again. It was somewhat of the truth but in reality, I was still lying just to get away from him and put a stop to this obnoxious feeling in my chest.

“Oh. Why didn’t you say so?” He said while placing the towel on the counter and walking back into my room.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going??” I shouted while hopping off of the counter. I then finally noticed the towel he had been wiping me down in. It looked just like one of the towels that kept disappearing from my bathroom. Naturally, my mind immediately leaped into suspicion but I quickly calmed that thought by telling myself there are probably dozens of the same towels within this stupidly huge mansion and that I probably just end up misplacing my towels or the maids snatch them up without permission.

When I go back to my bedroom I see Julian going through my wardrobe. I shake my head with an expression that shows my sheer confusion. “The fuck? You gonna pick out my clothes too?”

“For something cozy and relaxable? Yes.” He said shamelessly while pulling out one of my extra large sweaters that was so big that half of the collar would slide down my shoulder. Not a bad choice, I thought to myself. Until I saw the black laced underwear that he pulled out after it. Again, I blushed as I recognized the same underwear that looked identical to the one I wore on the first night we had sex. I rubbed my forehead with some more frustration boiling inside me.

For fuck’s sake.

Julian set them both on my bed before walking behind me and taking the strings of my bikini into his hands. My body immediately stiffened with wariness to the point I couldn’t even look over my shoulder back at him. “Julian…”

The warning in my tone didn’t get a flinch like it used to out of him. If anything, it seemed like he’d become immune to my foul attitude. “Don’t worry. I’m just helping you untie this and then I’ll be on my way.” He said right as he untied both of the knots. I quickly flew my hands up to my breasts to keep my cups from falling to the floor. I expected him to leave afterward like he said he would but instead, he just stood there behind me. My first thought was that he was going to try to make me ‘feel good’ without my permission again but my second thought that came to mind ended up being the answer as I felt his fingers trace my skin.

He’s looking at my scars again.

“Can I help you?” I spoke with a snarky tone, snapping the man out of his trance.

“Sorry. I’ll let you get changed.” Julian gave my back a small pat before leaving my bedroom. I Let out a heavy sigh.

Fucking hell.

Once I removed my bikini and put on the clothes Julian had set off, I shivered as my nude body instantly got warmed by the wooly white sweater. Without wearing pants I wasn’t likely to overheat either.

He really does like to take care of me…

As soon as I sat down on my bed, Julian must have heard the sound of the bed moving because he walked back inside unannounced. And without permission. Again. But today, I didn’t mind as much. He came to sit down next to me and gave me a warm smile before patting his lap. “Come here.”

What…?