Chapter 82: Untold Fear

Jack’s face looked pale, as if he had just seen a ghost. “God, Sukia, please tell me you didn’t…”

“The hell? I said I backed out, didn’t I? Besides, I was going to break up with him anyway… it just doesn’t feel right.” though my mind had been made up already, Jack’s reaction left me warily confused.

“Fuck, Suki…” he ran his fingers through his brunette hair before speaking in a serious voice when he looked at me. “This isn’t a joke, Suki, you can’t just… no, you can’t do that.”

“What?” I cocked my head to the side. “You were totally at his throat last time we were all together! His talk about marriage and babies was nothing but a buncha bullshit. We were just testing the waters.” I hated lying to Jack, and I desperately wanted that lie to be true, but I knew Julian’s feelings ran far deeper than mine. The past finally clicked. “When you and Julian were talking by yourselves, what were you both talkin’ about? Whatever he said, don’t let him make you think you’re not good enough for me… Jackie, I…” my teeth grind as I summon up the willpower to talk about emotions, my least favorite topic. “Mason and Alex told me how you felt about me. Fuck, Jackie, I… I’m a dumbass, you know that! Why the fuck would you fall for a mess like me? I’m–”

“IT’S NOT THAT!” his sudden shout made me jump. He turned his head away from me as he tried to get himself under control.

*Holy shit, what the fuck?*

“Dude… I’m really not understanding what’s got your dick in a knot. I’m sorry I didn’t notice your feelings sooner, for real. And Julian… Julian doesn’t come close to comparing–”

“Stop it, Sukia! Just–just stop it. You…” he took in a deep breath as if he were trying to sound calm, but I could still hear the panic in his voice. “Julian isn’t that bad of a guy. He’s the perfect match for you. You both belong together. This is for the best.”

I stared at him in utter disbelief. “You gotta be fucking kidding me… Jackie, do you hear yourself right now?? You–”

“Sukia,” he reached over and gripped my hand tightly, an unexpected pleading look gleaming in his eyes. “Please. Stay with him. It's for the best. Just… just trust me. Of all times, you need to trust me on this one.”

The look in his eyes made me go from confused to cautious. I could feel that wary frown of mine crease my lips. “The fuck did he say to you, Jackie?”

Jack released my hand, turned his gaze back to the road, and drove off again. He took in another deep breath and successfully began to steady himself. “Only how much he loves you, Suki.”

I scoffed and turned my head away. We were going in circles and it was beginning to piss me off. Just the fuck is he not telling me?? There’s no way in hell that his opinion of Julian changed like a light switch. He acted like he wanted to cut off his balls last time they were together and now Jack is hellbent on keeping me with Julian? I don’t like this. There’s only one thing I could think of that could make Jack react like this. It reminded me of Grace’s sudden change of heart to hide a video that would’ve ruined my life.

*Julian threatened him. He had to have. Why else would Jackie be acting like this? Jackie isn’t the type of person to just…*

I shook my head in an attempt to shake off the heart-pounding thoughts out of my head and rubbed my temple. “...Sure, Jackie. If that’s what you think.” the least I could do is at least pretend that I’ll acknowledge his words. Thankfully, a smile returned to his face as he gave a small nod of his head.

“Good… thanks, Suki,” he murmured with a gentle voice, the panic from earlier long gone as soon as I told him that I’d stay with Julian. But now my decision to cut my relationship with him was stronger than ever. Something was wrong. And by Jack’s reaction, something was very wrong.

Jack turned on the radio, the type of music that I liked. He then grinned at me as if nothing had happened and reached out to hold my hand again. “I’ll always care about you, Suki. Don’t ever forget that.”

“Yeahhh… I really care about you, too.” I couldn’t hide the suspicion in my voice. I knew he could hear it, but didn’t acknowledge it. He was doing everything in his power to keep the situation as normal as possible between us. Was he scared of something?

I could see the white mansion up the road from a suitable distance cause it was so fucking big. The drive through the east-side felt far shorter than usual and Jack was even driving the speed limit the entire time. I felt incomplete, sitting here at Jack’s side. It felt as if there was unfinished business. So before he drove up into the driveway, I leaned over and hugged him tightly.

“S–Suki…!” I heard his breath hitch when my skin touched his. His distraction from that and my entire body in the way‌ made it hard for him to steer, but he still managed to do it. In return, he hugged me back. His embrace may have been with only one arm, but it was still strong enough to hold me tightly to his chest and press his cheek against mine. I felt his faint facial whiskers against my smooth skin. I knew his racing heart was from my body almost completely sitting on his lap, but somehow I could still feel a hint of sadness coming off of him.

When we drove past the tall gates and drove up into the driveway, I felt Jack’s body stiffen drastically and he moved me back into the passenger’s seat. When I looked at him with confusion, I saw the look of regretful fear in his eyes as he stared dead head. I followed his stare and was taken by surprise by what I saw.

It was Julian, standing directly in front of us. His usually well-groomed ash blonde hair was a little messy, the type of messy I’ve seen before when he’s run his fingers through it too many times. I don’t know how long he had been outside, but he had clearly been waiting for us as if he knew I’d be in a car that pulled up here and the only cars that pull up front are visitors, family always parked in the garage.

When did he get back? He could’ve texted me or called me, not just waited in the driveway like a weirdo. As much as I wanted to step out of the car and give him a couple of sasses as my own little way of ‘greeting’, it was hard to move from my seat when my eyes made contact with those blue embers of his.

He was not happy.