Chapter 42: Uncertain Feelings

Without even realizing it I had passed out as well apparently because when I awoke I was spread out on Jack’s sofa with a blanket over me.

*What? …What just happened?*

“Finally awake?” Jack walked into the living room shirtless with his hair damp, I noticed there were beads of water dripping from the strands and his body looked wet.

I immediately blushed and looked down at my body beneath the covers. *There’s no way in hell that we actually–!!!*

“Suki?” he asked as he walked over to me with furrowing brows. “Everything alright in that head of yours?”

It took me a second to realize that he was wet from water, not sweat. I gave a sheepish laugh while looking away from him. “Uh– yeah! Yeah. Everything is fine. Everything is perrrfectly fine…” I mumbled the last part while struggling to keep my green gaze on anything but him. I hadn’t ever seen him shirtless before and was honestly blown away by his unexpected abs and attractive body. “Uhh, sooo, you work out?” my tone still sounded awkward as hell and I silently cursed myself under my breath.

*Smooth, Suki, smooth…*

Jack watched me for a moment before flashing me a toothy smirk without bothering to answer my last question, instead, it sounded like he was going to tease me. “Are you sure? It’s not often I see that look on your face.”

This time my face burned red but it was mostly from anger instead of embarrassment. “Ah, shut the hell up! How long was I out?”

“Just a few hours. I showered to wake myself up. You still want to go home right? …unless you changed your mind?” Jack’s last question sounded a little hopeful.

It was far more tempting this time but Julian was still burned in the back of my mind. As much as I would like to say ‘a good way and bad way’ I knew it was only ‘a bad way and a worse way.’

“Jack…” I murmured in a voice I didn’t use too often. It was practically impossible to find the words to say to him, to explain the complicated situation. Hell, I can’t even identify my own emotions.

*I do need therapy.*

Jack noticed my hesitation and gave me a reassuring smile to ease my inner conflict. “Let's get you home so that you can get some real sleep. Come on.”

I give a huff but follow after him after he slides a shirt on. The drive from the west side back to the east almost felt like a blur, the alcohol’s toxicity was still active in my body. I was surprised that I even managed to wake up at all. As I drifted in and out of sleep, he finally pulled up to the Augustus Mansion and the jerk of the car coming to a halt was what woke me up.

Jack still watched me with concern and hesitation this time, I could see it in his face that he was wondering whether or not he should really let me go. “Suki, you know you can–”

“Shut up. I already told you.” I mumbled with obvious annoyance in my tone while avoiding eye contact. “Anway… thanks for the night out. This was what I needed.” I tried to smile but instead, it looked more like a crooked grin. “Maybe we can do this again sometime? Just the two of us.”

*What am I even saying? The other two fuckers would get so jealous they’d go nuts! …almost as jealous as Julian.*

Jack looked surprised over my unexpected fondness. “O- oh! Uh, yeah, that’d… that’d be great. I’d really like that.” his smile turned more sheepish this time and I honestly couldn’t help but find it cute. But I was too exhausted and hungover for any more jokes so I turned and grabbed the door handle.

“Welp. See ya la–” Right before I could open the door and leave, I felt his hand suddenly grasp my arm to stop me just in time for him to lean forward and kiss my cheek the same way I had kissed his when he had passed out earlier. I whirled around and looked at him wide-eyed, about to demand what’s the big idea but his flushed cheeks prevented my tongue from moving further.

“See you later, Suki.” he murmured softly while releasing my arm. I was still frozen like a deer in headlights for the next few seconds.

*Did that seriously just happen?? Wait… was he conscious when I kissed his cheek earlier!?*

I savagely cursed myself in my head as my cheeks burned hot with embarrassment. I didn’t expect my little act of fondness to come back and bite me in the ass so soon, let alone even get caught in the first place.

“Mhm. Bye.” I make my response short and sweet before swiftly stepping out of the car. It wasn’t out of rejection, but it was out of sheer embarrassment of the awkward moment. At least I found it awkward. Yet at the same time, I wondered if ‘would I reject him?’

Thankfully Jack didn’t look too downhearted by my sudden retreat. He gave me one last smile before driving off. Once his headlights were out of view and I was left in the dark, I cursed myself again for moving so quickly. It almost immediately left me nauseous and dizzy.

*Fuck me sideways. Gotta… bed… maybe puke first… fuuuck…*

I couldn’t even get my list of curses to ramble off of my numb tongue. I could smell the beer even when I had my mouth closed and it was only making me even more nauseous. With a few clumsy steps I finally made it inside the mansion. It was the same way it was when I left, all the lights off and every hallway as silent as a ghost. My anxiety instantly spiked at the thought of Julian being up and about at 3, maybe 4 a.m.

*Crazy bastard.*

I attempt to grumble that word at least off of my lips but it came out in a pathetic, inaudible slur. As I made my way up the staircase with unsteady steps, I ended up having to stop and quickly cover my mouth as if it were going to stop me from puking.

Come on, hold it in! Hold it in!!

My dizziness kicked in for the second time and I dropped to my knees on the staircase, the body beginning to ignore me. Before I could roll like a ball down the staircase, I felt a strong hand grab me by the arm. I was startled by the sudden physical grasp but not surprised at all over who it was.

*Fucking Julian… again.*

“You’ve had a fun night again, haven’t you?” he commented while hoisting me up from falling over.

“What do you mean again? You watchin’ me or somethin’...?” I grumbled with a slurred voice, despite my grumpy attitude I still let him handle me how he wanted and scooped me up bridal style. Its not like I could do anything about it anyway, not in my current condition.

Julian didn’t respond to me as he carried me upstairs and to my room, even gently setting me down on my back in my bed. My tensed body instantly relaxed as soon as it was settled into the softest bed I have ever been on.

“Aight. Thanks. You can go now.” my words and voice were curt with a hint of sassy hostility. I was still angry with him over our previous encounters and frankly didn’t want to even look at him, let alone any interactions at all.

*It’d be easier if he wasn’t so goddamn hot!*

But he didn’t leave. To my alarm, he even crawled into bed with me and placed his hand on the other side of my body. My relaxed figure stiffened back up on instinct. “J- Julian?? What the hell! Get off of me!”