Chapter 32: Daddy Issues

“I said come here,” Julian repeated himself with patience in his tone. He patted his lap one more time and I looked him up and down suspiciously, mostly at his lap.

The hell…?

I wasn’t sure how to react. My usual reaction would be to tell him to get out of my room and stop acting like a weirdo but for some reason this time I feel myself wanting him to stay. I was confused about what he wanted though.

Does he want me to sit on his lap?

In the end, I scooted towards him only a little bit then leaned down onto the bed and rested my head on his lap. I made sure to have my face facing the opposite way so that he couldn’t see it and I couldn’t see his. And yet I didn’t have to look at him to know that he was already smiling. His big hand strokes my damp, curly clumped hair. My hair may be long and moved like straight hair but my curls were defined, something that I’ve always hated about my hair. It’s a pain in the ass to take care of. Julian takes a strand of it and plays with the dark coil.

“Beautiful.” I heard him whisper again. By the sound of his voice, I could tell that the word was meant to stay in his head.

“I hate repeating myself…” I grumbled with a smooshed cheek while giving him the side-eye. My warning snatched him back into reality quickly.

“Ah… that slipped out. Sorry, Suki.” He murmured while continuing to stroke my hair. I was thankful that I was facing away from him and some of my hair covered the side of my face that was visible. I could feel that blush creeping back onto my cheeks and I hoped that he wouldn’t feel the warmth on his leg.

I’ve never blushed so much in my entire life. Why is that?

“You seem stressed.” Julian suddenly said to me, changing to a topic that I didn’t expect that he’d go for.

“Stressed?” I questioned his question. I don’t feel stressed. Yet again, these fucking twins have been messing with my head so much that maybe I’ve become stressed so often that I can’t even tell anymore.

That’s most likely the case.

“So, I’ve been thinking…” He murmured something else again and I couldn’t tell if it was on the same topic or if he was changing it to something else again. I wouldn’t doubt it. Sometimes Julian really did stump me with the way his brain works.

“Thinking? Should I be concerned?” I mumbled again. I honestly didn’t know what to expect from the unpredictable man.

“No. It’s just something that I noticed while spending time with you.” His words made a noticeable vein bulge out of my neck as it pulsed with annoyance. I hated it when people beat around the bush.

“Will you just spit it out already?! I’m getting up if you don’t tell me what you’re trying to say.” I threatened him again. I was quite comfortable where I was lying and using Julian’s lap as a pillow but I’d get up without hesitation if I was just going to lay here and get triggered.

“It may be a sensitive subject but…” Before I could snap at Julian again, he listened to my warning and spoke what was on his mind. “I think you have a father complex, Suki.”

There was a silence that stretched for a few seconds between us as I tried to process what he had just said to me.

What? What??

“What?!” I echoed my thoughts. That wasn’t even on my list of last things to expect.

“I thought about it and you do have the signs. Plus it would make sense…” Julian’s voice trailed off as if he was trying to avoid a sensitive topic that always hurts but it was already too late for that, I could feel my body stiffen and my throat tighten to the point that it was hard to breathe.

I take in a deep breath as if trying to make the tightness go away even though I knew it was futile. “I don’t have ‘daddy issues’, Julian. My father never mistreated me.”

“But he wasn’t there for you either.” Julian’s words made me flinch. It felt like a stab through the heart. I didn’t want to admit it and I will forever lie to myself but I already knew he was right. He didn’t even give me a chance for my scrambled emotions to adjust as he started to speak again. “That’s why you don’t trust or let anyone in. It’s why you avoid love too, right?”

My suffocating emotions swirled into a storm as my temper took control and I sprung up into a sitting position and then spun around to shoot him a vicious glare. “Don’t you DARE act like you know me! You don’t know SHIT about me!! People like you really piss me off, you think you know me but you don’t! So fuck off with this act you keep putting on! I don’t need you and I don’t need anyone!” I screamed at my stepbrother at the top of my lungs as I leaped to my feet and pointed at the door. “Now get the FUCK outta my room!”

Julian never flinched away from my scream that could quake the floor but he did stand up at least. I expected the man to leave like a kicked puppy again that I would’ve gladly kicked for myself but instead, he walked up to me and held me firmly within her iron-tight embrace.

I’ve been stuck in his arms enough times that I already knew trying to escape is pointless and yet I squirmed and attempted to fight back like I’ve got a chance to overpower him. “Dammit, Julian, let the fuck go of me!”

Julian’s grip didn’t falter at all even as I cursed him and fought back. “Will you let your big brother hold you just this one time?” His voice is an affectionate whisper in my ear as if there was an eavesdropper nearby that he didn’t want them to hear.

“You mother fucker…” I growled out my words in frustration but eventually stopped squirming and just stood there as he hugged me.

You can’t say shit like that after everything you’ve done to me, asshole…

As much as I wanted to speak my thoughts out loud, my whirlwind of emotions has left me exhausted as usual. I wanted nothing more than to lay my head down and fall asleep. The warmth of the sweater I was wearing definitely didn’t help. Julian must’ve noticed my sudden drowsiness because he soon swept me off my feet, startling me a bit when he started holding me bridal-style and taking me back to my bed. There we went back into the position we were in earlier where I was lying on the bed while using his lap as a pillow. Only this time he pulled a blanket over me. It shattered my pride to pieces as I allowed the man to handle me this way and yet I couldn’t deny I liked it. Hell, I liked it as much as I liked robbing people. And that’s saying something.

Julian continued to pet my hair which had finally dried off. Despite how wary I was towards my stepbrother, I allowed myself to be vulnerable and surrender into sleep. However, my instincts were telling me otherwise and they only grew stronger when I heard him whisper familiar words.

“I’ll take care of you now, Beautiful.”