Chapter 114: The Only Holiness

My arms squeezed my legs tighter when I heard the car stop and I buried my face into my knees when I heard the approaching footsteps. As always, I knew my obsessive stepbrother would find me no matter where I went. He knows me just as much as my mother does. And sometimes it feels like he knows me more than she does.

“What the fuck do you want? I want to be alone!”

“Sukia…?”

I jolted and my head shot up when I recognized a voice that didn’t belong to Julian. It belonged to the face of the man that I hadn’t had the nerve to see in a month, but still texted on almost a daily basis. “Shit–Liam??”

“I recognized your car,” he explained as he came closer and tilted his head, confused. “What’re you doing in a ditch? Did you fall?”

I was impressed that he memorized my car that quickly after just a couple of meetups. “I–I…” Fuck, stop stuttering!! I furiously cursed myself for showing weakness again and I turned my head away from Liam. “No. I’m fine. Just needed a moment.”

“In… a ditch…?” Liam still looked baffled as he looked around. Other than the ditch, there was literally nothing else here other than a nearby stream that flooded water pours into. This area of the city wasn’t as populated, so cars didn’t pass through here often and there were no sidewalks. Pedestrians didn’t walk these roads either unless they wanted muddy shoes.

“No!” I snapped with unintended aggression. Liam was taken aback, as if he were thinking he had done something wrong. But he did. It was me… I sighed and looked down at the ground. “... My friend died here. It was a hit-and-run. His body was left here for a while and it was just recently discovered.” I gripped the grass tightly beneath me, tight enough that most of the roots were yanked from the soft dirt. “He was fucking murdered and left to rot in a fucking ditch.”

“Oh, no…” Liam definitely wasn’t expecting that when he pulled over, seeing me bizarrely sitting in some random ditch. He shook his head as his eyes dulled. “I’m sorry such an awful thing happened to you and your friend.”

I shrugged and kept my eyes on the ground until he slid down into the ditch next to me. I looked up at him with wary, squinted eyes. This man had no business standing on the ground that my friend’s body was decomposing on. My head tilted, and I looked him up and down as my confusion deepened when I saw him put his hands together and murmur something under his breath. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Liam looked at me with surprise as if he was shocked that I was ignorant of his actions, but then he smiled, showing that he didn’t think less of me. “I was praying for him a safe journey to heaven and hope he can rest in peace now that he’s gotten a proper burial.”

I was dead silent for a moment as I tried to comprehend what he had just said. “Hea.. ven…?”

Liam’s smile faded into a brief surprise. “You do know what heaven is, don’t you?”

“Wh–duh! Everybody does!” I retorted hotheadedly before looking away from him. “It’s been really a long time since I heard or seen anything like that.” There was a silence between us as if he knew I had more to say. I didn’t like to talk about it, but at a time like this, I figured it was better to get things off of my chest. I’ll feel better that way, right? That’s how this is supposed to work, right? I took in a deep breath. “My dad was pretty religious, about heaven and shit. When he died, I stopped giving a damn. And, to be honest… I think my mom did, too.”

Liam crouched down next to me. His smile was warm as he affectionately rubbed his back. “Remember, he’s at peace now. That’s what matters. If he’s looking down on you right now, he wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

His words felt like another blade had just left a wound on my fragile heart. But I hid it well behind a cringed expression, wrinkling my nose and sticking out my tongue as if I had just smelt something foul. “Now you’re just making things weird. Please stop.” Liam snorted and his humor brightened when I gave him a small smile. “But… thanks. I needed that.”

When Liam stood up, he reached out his hand and helped me up off of the ground. Thanks to him, I finally found the strength that I needed to keep pushing forward. Liam’s smile turned shy as he looked away from me while rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m really glad I ran into you. I was just thinking about you.”

“Fuck me.” I unintentionally groaned out of the sheer habit of being rude as hell. “You’re not gonna tell me this is fate now, are you?”

He got flustered a lot faster than Julian ever had, his face flushing as he quickly shook his head. “No! None of that.” He nervously chuckled as if he were entering the theater to see the scariest movie of all time. “I know you’ve been saying that you’re too busy to see me lately. Were you avoiding me?”

“What? No. Why would I do that?” My rude tone didn’t make me sound believable in the slightest, so I tried to change my tune before he could think that he had done something wrong. “I mean, my life has been rather… chaotic. Not shit is right. And I don’t know how to get it right anymore.”

“I understand.” Liam stepped forward and placed his hand on my shoulder. His gentle eyes reminded me of Julian’s but they were different somehow. It was hard to explain. The closest word I could think of was purity. “Again, I’m sorry for your loss. Is there anything I can do for you?”

I felt an itch on my spine the moment a hopeful thought crossed my mind. *Wait… maybe I could come live with Liam while Mom and Gabriel are gone?* As I stared up at Liam now, my hope died just as quickly as it sprouted. *Yeah, right… Julian will kill him for sure. Besides, I’d be bringing a storm of trouble into his life. I… don’t want that for him…* With a spare arm, I moved his hand off of my shoulder with the back of my wrist. “Sorry, Liam, but… it’s best you don’t get caught up with me. I’m literally a walking magnet for trouble.”

Liam didn’t look phased by my warning in the slightest. “Trouble doesn’t worry me. You worry me.” His brows knitted together as he looked me up at down. “You don’t look well… are you sick?”

*Ah, right… I almost forgot that I’m pregnant. Fuck… I probably look like I’m half-dead from stress, too.* “Look, Liam, I appreciate you at least trying to help me, but‌ stay away from me if you know what’s good for you.” Warning him is the right thing to do, right? Right…?

Second-guessing each action I made was like a never-ending battle for me–my biggest flaw was always doubting myself behind my pride and hostility.

Liam grabbed my hand this time, but his grasp was still gentle enough that I could yank it out at any time. This man has a fucking death wish. If Julian pops up like the boogeyman right now, both of us are gonna have a bad day. I should’ve pulled my hand free, but something prevented me.

“I think that Jack would’ve wanted you to be happy. And you don’t look happy, Sukia.”

My olive-green colored eyes widened briefly when Liam caught me off guard, but I bit my lip and looked away just as fast. Should I tell him he has no right to speak in Jack’s stead? Still, part of me knew that Liam was right.

“I can see something is greatly troubling you. Please, let me help you.” Liam almost sounded like he was begging me now. Why was he so determined to help trash like me? He must’ve come to terms and accepted that I wouldn’t cave so easily, but his hand’s grip did slightly grow tighter. “If you ever need a friend or a shoulder to lean on, I’m here.” He paused for a second before turning more wary. “You live pretty deep in the east, towards the forest, right?”

“Yeah? What of it?”

“Be careful.” Liam’s eyes filled with worry. “It’s common knowledge how stormy it gets this time of year, but it gets pretty violent around those parts. I don’t want you to get stranded out there.”

“Wait… what? Stranded??”