Chapter 89: Secret By Secret

The bulge hanging at the bottom of his bedspring told me how big and how heavy the object was. This was something I’ve done in the past, hiding something inside the bed itself so that it can’t be seen under the bed at first glance.

*He hid it pretty good too. Most people I know who do this trick are sloppy and people see it hanging either way. Now, where’s the stupid cut?*

I scooted closer and felt around for access to slide my hand up. As soon as I found the tiny hole, I flinched when my damp skin scraped the wood. *Fuck!* It’s not the worst pain I’ve ever felt but it was still an annoying sting. I reached my hand farther towards the object. My arms were a lot shorter than Julian’s and the fact was proven in this shitty struggle. I was tempted to find something sharp and rip a new hole. But thankfully my fingers hooked the cloth right when I was about to get pissed and give up. I yanked it towards me with quickness, and the anxiety of Julian returning and catching me doing this caused my heart to begin thumping rapidly in my chest.

When I yanked it towards the hole, I saw it was a strap to something that got hung on the wooden panel. *Motherfucker!* I tugged harder and harder while trying my best to not break off whatever it was attached to. After enough wiggling, I was about to pull it free. I flinched with a pained squeak when the object dropped right on my forehead. *Ow! Fuck!* After rubbing my forehead, I inspected it and was left, both puzzled and surprised.

*A camera? Damn, talk about expensive. Must’ve been newly bought, too. This thing is so spotless it shines at the littlest light.*

I carefully twirled it around in my fingers, careful not to have it make any noises, but I was still curious to see what Julian had been up to. Bird watching? Pfft. That’d be the day. I try to find the button around the screen to turn it on and nosily scroll through his stuff, but fuck, I was not familiar with the technology. I’m still getting used to my own phone!

Eventually, I figure it out and I light up when the screen lights, but my curiosity steals another one of my nine lives when my triumphant excitement drops into dread. There were a few leaves in the way and it was rather dark, but I could still see the mansion. The lenses were zoomed up on the window to my art room. The same window that Julian had shoved me up against when we were having our moment last night. And this video recorded every second of it. It was then that I recalled the brief sparkle in a bush from a shiny object. It was this.

*Holy fucking shit… holy fucking shit!*

Jolting when I heard the bedroom door open; I quickly turned off the camera’s video, covered my mouth, and curled up as small as I could. Something told me that Julian wouldn’t be too happy if he found out I had been snooping again.

*Oh fuck. Oh fuck!*

“Suki?” he called for me while walking into the bathroom. “Babe?”

*Gross.* I still cringed at being called the mushiest word I’ve ever been called.

I saw Julian’s shoes leave the bathroom when he realized I wasn’t there. When you walk out of the bathroom, you get the entire view of the bedroom, presenting that it was empty and that I had left. The room looked empty at first glance, yet Julian silently stood still in the middle of his bedroom. Smack-dab in front of the bed.

*Why isn’t he leaving? Why isn’t he fucking leaving??*

Worst-case scenario, Julian gets smart and thinks I’m still in his room. Hiding. Because I’m a nosy motherfucker. And there’s only one place I can hide. Under the bed…

I had no choice but to cover my mouth with both hands to keep my anxious pants silent. My heart was racing so fast that the rushing blood to my skull throbbed a painful headache.

*Don’t look. Don’t look. I’m not here. I’m not here. Fuck. Don’t LOOK. DON’T FUCKING LOOK.*

I loved scary movies, but the anxiety of this jump scare made me close my eyes tightly, my ears now the only sense I could use to detect him. After a couple more seconds, I heard his footsteps. They sounded like they were getting louder but soon faded, followed by the creak and click of a door opening and closing. When I opened my eyes, I saw that he was gone.

*Oh, thank fuck!*

I quickly slid the camera back where I found it and scooted out from under his bed, wincing when my drying skin was stretched by the floor. When I was out I finally got a look at my arm. The wood had left a cut. Eh. So what?

*I gotta get the fuck outta here!* When I took hurried steps towards the bedroom door I froze in place when a chilling thought crossed my mind. *Wait… what if he’s waiting outside the door?* Uncertainty filled my anxiety. I wouldn’t put it past him. Julian could easily pretend like he was coming back to his room because he forgot something. Hiding would’ve been pointless. And hiding would’ve proven that I did something wrong, and I didn’t want him to find out what it was.

*Shit! SHIT! But what if I’m wrong? What if he actually left and I’m just twiddling my thumbs in here like a fucking idiot??*

I tried to peek under the door. It was hard to see anything, but nothing looked like it was in front of the door. Even so, he couldn’t still be down the hallway because I knew I’d look under the door. Either way, I’m fucked.

While running my fingers through my damp hair, I took in a deep, shaky breath to calm my nerves.

Wait. What the fuck am I doing? I’m not scared of anything! I’m the fucking cutthroat of cutthroats. I’ve tangled with men many times with knives and fists. I grew up on the west-side. Nobody fucks with me. I have the respect or fear from anybody and everybody who knows my name! So why do I keep freaking out?? Why can’t I just confront him about doing freaky shit behind my back again!?

The memory of my talk with Amy crossed my mind, answering all of my questions. The people I fought on the west-side were desperate to survive. If they attacked, it was because you had something that they needed. Survival of the fittest like the wild animals we were. And that made them predictable. But Julian? There was nothing he needed to survive. He had no reason to attack because there was nothing vital to fight for. He wasn’t a wild animal like we were. Yet he still desperately wanted something… and that made him unpredictable. I don’t like unpredictability. I can’t protect myself from the unpredictable, not like that, not with the experience I have. And next time, it won’t be a rough yank or dunking my head in a bathtub.

My saliva felt like a rock when I gulped it down. For once, I was beginning to feel powerless.

*Is this… what fear feels like…?*

No. Not from what I was described. It has to just be my caution on overdrive. And I need to keep it that way.

I looked around his room until my attention landed on his window and I opened it up; the towel wrapped around my body protecting me from the gush of wind and hiding my tits, I looked from side to side, seeing rows of windows. One of them had a balcony that I could tell was mine. The thin rims and small roofs above the windows looked like a beautiful pathway.

Fuck anybody and everybody who underestimates me.