Chapter 37: The Foolish and the Desperate

The pressure was something I was accustomed to. I always made quick last-minute decisions, even in situations similar to these. But as I looked into Julian’s eyes, the line between what I would do and what I need to do has suddenly become very blurred.

*Fucking hell!*

I turned to face Liam and his friends, my voice was as firm as the fingers around my knife. “This isn’t any of your goddamn business so keep your nose out of it.” I curled my lip as I spoke, making it clear that this wasn’t an argument and this confrontation was over with.

I then looked back down at Julian who was still on the floor. Embarrassment and frustration fueled me. I couldn’t believe this man would lose his cool like this. I looked both ways warily to make sure security wasn’t heading our way. If a security guard recognized my face and reported me to the authorities, this ‘movie night’ would be the end of me.

“Get up,” I muttered while offering him my hand. Julian wasn’t hesitant to take it and I struggled to help haul the heavy man up to his feet. As soon as he did, I saw those familiar puppy dog eyes full of apology and shame.

“Thanks, Suki…” his voice was soft and he didn’t keep eye contact with me very long.

I sighed and grumbled a curse under my breath while shaking my head. I glanced at the other three men in the corner of my eye one last time. The two friends looked disgusted and annoyed that I took my harasser’s side but Liam looked genuinely worried.

“Tch,” I grunted under my breath as I turned my back to the men. They were just more people that I’ll never see again. I then grabbed Julian by the wrist and dragged him out with rough tugs. “C’mon. We’re going home. Now.”

Our walk across the parking lot and into the car was nothing but dead silence. I purposely shoved him into the passenger’s seat and I sat in the driver’s seat. It wasn’t often I drove a car, and I was pretty awful at it too, but I just wanted to get home using my own two hands.

There was still a silence between the two of us. Halfway home I finally glanced at Julian in the corner of my eye and I saw that the man was staring out the window. But it seemed like a second after I glanced at him, he immediately looked at the reflection in the window and his eyes met mine. I quickly look back to the road. Damn… of course he’d look in the reflection.

“Sukia…” Julian finally spoke up with that usual hesitance he has when he knew he fucked up.

“Shut up,” I muttered in a deep, aggressive voice. “Just shut the fuck up, Julian.”

Julian did as I commanded and he looked down at his hands guiltily. Reading somebody’s true intentions through their eyes is a specialty of mine. It was like looking through a window to see their true colors. That was one of the reasons I was always so annoyed being around Gabriel, the man was far too naive and good-willed.

*And Julian…*

I huffed and shook my head. I could see it in his eyes. Julian was genuinely feeling ashamed of himself for his actions.

*Good. Stupid bastard.*

As much as I wanted to grill his ass with curses and insults, I couldn’t bring myself to wound him any further than he has already wounded himself. Hell, rubbing salt in his wound would bring me no pleasure. Why is that?

I think hard about the reason why I can’t bring myself to lash out at him.

*Oh… right… it was all because of me, huh?*

I have never been startled in my entire life when the docile, submissive man suddenly became vicious to Liam and even dragged me out of the movies as if I were a ragdoll. Even when I was living on the west side of the city, I had never seen such a vicious look in anybody’s eyes. It reminded me of a blue fire, ready to burn everything to ashes.

I shook my head roughly to clear my thoughts.* I don’t care about any of that. I don’t care one bit. Julian fucked up a good time I was looking forward to. That’s all I care about. He fucked up. Again. Right… right…?*

“Sukia,” Julian’s sudden, soft voice close to my ear jerked me out of my thoughts. “You’re speeding. I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

When I looked at the gauge, sure enough, I was going 10mph over the speed limit. Part of the reason is because speed was a bad habit of mine, the other half of the reason is because I was lost in my tangled storm of thoughts as usual.

“I said shut the fuck up, Julian!” I snapped at him angrily, making him flinch and lean away from me. I corrected my speed along the drive and parked with a rough stop, jerking the both of us forward a little bit. I’ve never been good at parking.

I got out and started to walk out of the garage but I was halted in my tracks when I felt arms wrap around me from behind. The strong muscles, comforting warmth, and addicting scent announced who had captured me without even having to hear his voice.

“Please, forgive me, Sukia,” he murmured softly, his voice would have felt like velvet if it had a texture. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and it gave me goosebumps.

“Fuck you, Julian. Didn’t I just tell you to shut up?! For once in your fucking life, take a hint!” I barked angrily without turning my head to look at him.

“Please?” He repeated that word again as if he was gently begging for my forgiveness with a persistence that could rival my own. “I’ll do anything, Sukia.”

“Anything?” I asked while barely turning my head to look up at him. I could think of many things to ask for or say. And I knew all too well that he would do every single one of them as if he were some kind of genie.

“Anything.” his voice became a little quieter as the arms from his embrace slowly moved down to where his hands were on my waist.

My brutal thoughts turned dirty frustratingly fast as I felt my cheeks begin to heat up. Unfortunately, Julian noticed this and purposely placed his cheek against mine as if taking in my overwhelming warmth.

Frozen in the moment, Julian’s hands that gripped my hips were slowly pulling me closer to his body to the point my back was against his chest. But more importantly, my buttocks were completely pressed against his crotch to the point my rear could identify his scrotum. A shiver runs down my spine as the familiar feeling arouses me.

I should’ve cursed him right then and there for disobeying what I had already told him several times before. No romantic or sexual interactions between us. And yet here I am, giving in to his touches. Why did he suddenly begin to disobey the biggest rule I’ve set?

The thoughts of Liam crossed my mind. *Is Julian doing this because he’s jealous??*