Chapter 75: Is This Love?

My toes curled and I bit my tongue when he yanked on the collar of my shirt to get access to what was beneath it. My quivering thighs spoke a different story compared to what was coming out of my mouth. “Fuck, wait, wait!” he stopped and looked at me as I tried to put my wants in front of my desires but it was harder when our gaze was locked. “I’m suffocating the fuck out of me and really making me fucking sore down there… You gotta chill. Seriously.” I was able to push his chest to get more distance between us. “Aren’t couples supposed to enjoy each other's company or something?? Not just sex, sex, sex.”

“Huh.” Julian looked both surprised and impressed. “I didn’t think you’d consider those parts of a *relationship*.”

“Wh–” I blushed when my instant reaction was getting flustered. “You fucker!”

*Fuck me.*

Right as Julian was leaning over me to begin kissing me again, I heard a familiar ding and the sound of a vibration. *Eh? Where’d I leave my phone?* I felt my pocket and felt nothing, making me realize that it was Julian’s phone that was making the noise. I was surprised that it made the same noise and type of vibration as mine but as soon as he pulled it out of his pocket I wasn’t surprised at all. Of course, it looks the same as mine… jackass.

It was a phone call that he glanced at his screen once before tapping the screen and putting it up to his ear. “Hello?”

I was floored when I stared up at him wide-eyed.

*The fuck…?? If I did that to him he’d yeet my phone! Who the fuck is more important than me!?*

I didn’t even realize how similar my thoughts sounded to Julian’s previous actions and I even tried to catch his attention by tugging on his shirt.

*FUCKING NOTICE MEEEE.*

Julian grabbed my hand to keep me from tugging on it further, his expression giving nothing away despite the fact I could literally see the gears spinning in his skull. Apart from his silence, I heard plenty of noise on the other side of the line. Most of it was inaudible but I did hear his name and a name that sounded like a woman’s before hearing the word ‘sister.’

“...Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“What the fuck?” I snapped right as he hung up and leaped to my feet. “You were supposed to be with me! Where the hell do you think you’re going!?”

Julian looked up at me wide-eyed, seeing a side of me that I didn’t even know I had. He then grinned in amusement. “I didn’t know you were the jealous type.” before my flustered self could give a hotheaded remark, he took my hand and kissed my scarred knuckles. “I’ll be back tonight.”

“Tonight? Not even going to tell me where?” I repeated my question from earlier stubbornly. I at least knew how Julian felt when I would run off now. It was not a good feeling. In fact, it left me burning bout as hot as when I’m royally pissed off.

Which is apparently most of the time.

Julian looked away from me, deliberately avoiding my gaze. “It’s a secret.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” I yanked my hand out of his grip. “Whatever. Just fucking leave then.” I crossed my arms and turned my back to him.

Shit, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s not. So why the fuck does it feel like it is? …am I getting attached? I heard the creak of his bed as he stood up off of it and hugged me from behind. Oh yeah… he’s my boyfriend now. That’s probably wh–

I gasped in surprise when his hug tightened around me hard enough that he was able to lift me off of the floor and place me back onto the bed– at least halfway onto it. “Fucking let go– don’t you have somewhere to be? I’ll– hey!” my feisty snap turned startled when he slid my baggy jeans completely off of me this time and his hand slipped past my underwear, grabbing and squeezing at my round cheek before giving it a harsh slap that could’ve been heard down the hall. I gave a brief squeak from the pain left behind, and it left me stunned too. Nobody has ever had the nerve to smack my ass before unless they wanted a shoe up their ass.

“Fucker–” As I tried to stand up straight to give him another punch in the gut, he put his hand on my back and easily pushed me back onto the bed. I gave an ‘oof’ sound this time when my face was pressed into the comforter. Everything happened so fast that I didn’t even realize what was going on until my underwear was slid off and I heard the unzipping sound of pants behind me before something pressing between my cheeks.

*You horny fucker– right after I told you!* I wanted to sass those words at him and something more colorful too but the only thing that came out of me was a shriek when I felt a familiar feeling invade my space. His hand that was on my back slid down to my waist and lifted my feet off of the carpeted floor, he even began rocking his hips before I had enough time to completely adjust.

“Ack– I… fucking told you…!” I struggled to speak through my moans and gripped the comforter tightly. Usually Julian took his sweet time with me, not immediately leaping into it. It’s been a while since I’ve had a ‘quicky.’ He didn’t respond to me, likely too caught up in the moment or high off of my scent. Again. His heavy pants sounded as if he were waiting for this all day but he remained gentle when holding me up and firm so that my lower half wouldn’t fall back to the floor. I couldn’t resist my moans from increasingly getting louder and Julian responded by hooking one of his arms around my torso, lifting me up by one arm, and using his fear hand to shove my face into his bed. I would’ve been fine with it at first and even turned me on more but the roughness made it hard to breathe and trying to push out of his grip felt like trying to yank on an iron bar. Between the ecstasy of pleasure and lack of oxygen, my body grew weaker and my head became dizzier, it increased the faster he thrust into me until he came to a stop when I felt something pulse inside of me before cool air kissed my thighs and I was gently scooted onto the bed.

We were both breathless and I could feel the heat of exhaustion on his breath as he kissed down my spine and then murmured. “I really have to get going now, Beautiful. I’ll see you later.”

“Fuck you,” I grumbled into the pillow.

I heard his amused chuckle and could tell he was smiling just by the tone of his voice. “I love you too.”

Those few words were enough to make my heart thump and burst into more butterflies.

What…? Before I could speak my daze, he had already dressed, fixed his attractive hair, and left me on his bed. It’s not often that I feel lonely, but I did the second he left the room. Despite those hypnotizing words he said to me, the sudden speed of our session made me feel… used.

*Is it supposed to feel like this? I bitterly frowned. It’s always been the other way around. EVERYTHING was always the other way around when it came to me and wealthy men. What changed??* I rolled onto my side and hugged the pillow that smelt like that man I couldn’t get off of my mine. I couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or bad thing though. My stomach felt like it was in knots. I didn’t know how often Julian left the August Mansion. I knew the men he hung out with or at least their faces, but was there anybody else? Any… *women?* I squeezed his pillow even tighter.

*If this is what he calls love then… I don’t think I want it.*

So I began to think otherwise about my relationship with Julian. It had already just begun too. I’ve never had this before so I knew that was likely the way I was feeling so unsure about everything. But I knew the last thing I needed was more pain in my life.

*Should I tell him it’s too soon? Fuck, I don’t fucking know.*

He was right. We were far beyond a brother-sister relationship. How would he react? Badly, I know that.

My chaotic thoughts turned to the wetness that flowed between my legs. It dawned on me; *did he pull out??*