Chapter 33: No Peace For The Wicked

Eventually, sleep began to loosen its grip on my mind and body. Once my eyes fluttered open, it took me a moment for my pupils to adjust to the light and for reality to tell me where I was.

How long was I out?

I rolled over in the bed, still under the comfy blanket that warmed my body. I’ve been waking up on broken mattresses, the back seat in old cars, and even on cardboard for so long that waking up on a bouncy, king-sized bed was completely foreign to me. My back was starting to feel better already. For a while there I thought I was getting scoliosis. Waking up in this east-side mansion will always take me a few seconds to remember where I’m at when I wake up in the morning. After a moment, my eyes widened in surprise when a realization dawned on me.

I didn’t have any nightmares…

It was shocking. This is the second time this has happened to me since I moved into this mansion. The sweet relief I felt from the freedom from nightmares was almost enough to bring me to tears. It brought a calmness to the chaos in my heart.

The second time… when was… oh yeah, that’s right. The first one was my first night sleeping with Julian. Speaking of Julian, where is he?

I looked around for the blonde man but he was nowhere in sight. He must’ve left once I was asleep. As I sat up, I realized that my sweater was somewhat rolled up as if I had reached up and scratched my stomach. Surely I wouldn’t have done that in my sleep, right? One thought came to mind that could likely be what really happened, my doubt in Julian will never cease it seems.

Did he feel up on me while I was sleeping?

My body didn’t feel any different unless he had just fondled me lightly enough that it wouldn’t wake me up. And sadly, I wouldn’t be surprised. As I got up and changed my clothes, I still couldn’t help but think about the man. Both times when I fell asleep with Julian at my side, I didn’t have any nightmares. Why is that? Do I feel safe? It wouldn’t make sense since I always feel so wary around him. Once I had on my baggy tank top, booty shorts jeans, and dirty sneakers that looked like they were about to fall apart, I finally left my spacious bedroom. I kept the windows in my bedroom covered by the curtains 24/7 so I didn’t realize how late it was in the day until I saw the sunlight in the hallways and peeked at my phone.

Oh shit. It’s past lunch.

I was somewhat dreading my mother’s reaction to me sleeping in. It’s been a very long time since we’ve done the ‘mother-daughter’ roles but, knowing my mother, she hasn’t changed a bit. As I went to the kitchen, I stopped in my tracks when I saw Julian spending time with my mother. The duo were laughing amongst themselves and they appeared to be cooking together. Julian was the first one to notice me. The handsome man peeked at me for a brief second on the corner of his eye and yet I was left puzzled when he didn’t say anything to me and kept a majority of his attention on my mother.

“Thank you for teaching me how to do this, Isabella. You’re an amazing cook. I’m sure it’ll come in handy someday.” He gave her a genuine, gorgeous smile.

My mother chuckled delightfully, she loved getting praised for her cooking. “Of course! A husband needed to know how to cook a good meal for his woman.” She then reached her hand up and patted his cheek. “You’re a good son.”

Julian looked at me from the corner of his eye again and I felt a sickening feeling claim my gut with nausea when my mother just called Julian her son. My ‘what ifs’ feelings from yesterday that made me question my resolve had built up my walls once again. My curiosity over what Julian and I could’ve been if it weren’t for our situation burned to ashes in an instant.

‘What if’ my ass… what the hell was I thinking?

“You know, Julian.” My mother began to speak again with words that I was afraid were going to lead up to something so I quickly started walking towards them. “I know it may be too soon but when you’re ready, you’re welcome to call me Mo–”

“Mom.” I silenced my mother at the last second as I reached their side. I didn’t look at Julian this time and basically pretended to ignore him. My mother looked startled over my sudden appearance and I had to quickly think of an excuse for my sudden approach. “Uhhh… what’re you cooking? It smells good.”

“It’s a creamy tomato pasta!” My mother beamed and then went back to stirring the pan. “It’s something I read about in the library. There’s quite a few cookbooks in there.”

“Why am I not surprised…” I rolled my eyes but still smiled. I enjoyed seeing my mother having a good time. Upon closer look at what she was cooking, I caught a glance that it was just noodles in red sauce with some plants. Basic yet delicious looking with a smell that made my stomach threaten to growl. My appetite immediately took a nosedive as soon as Julian spoke up.

“She taught me how to make it too. Now I’ll be able to cook delicious food for my wife.” He said with a grin that made me feel like he was hinting at something I was avoiding.

Why the hell are you smiling at me like that?!

I couldn’t exactly say my thoughts out loud with my mother around so instead I just shot him a hostile glare while my mother wasn’t looking. His grin faded and he looked down at the floor as soon as I did and, once again, I felt the stab of regret in my chest.

Damn this man.

“Thank you for the experience but I need to get going now.” Julian gave my mother one last smile and wrapped his arm around her petite body to give her a brief hug. He then walked past me with brief eye contact. “See you later, Suki.”

I break eye contact by looking away sharply without saying a word in return to him. My attention was snatched back to the woman in front of me as she gave a content sigh. “Ah, such a sweet boy. I noticed that he’s become very attentive to you. I’m glad there’s someone to take care of you when I’m not around.”

I couldn’t help but grimace at her words. If only she knew the whole truth. My attention is then drawn to my mother’s bright ginger hair which she kept in a low ponytail as usual. As I played with my mother’s hair that I admired so much, I heard her give another sigh but this one was full of longing. “You know, honey, I do hope you get married too someday.”

I stopped playing with my mother’s hair and gave her a confused “Eh?” sound.

“I’m serious.” She then looked over her shoulder to look at my face. “Someday, I want you to live a peaceful life without having to carry around a knife and finally start looking towards a bright future. To get an education and a good job, a family to keep you warm, and a husband that’ll never let you feel lonely.”

A snort escaped my nose and I burst out laughing. I knew what she said wasn’t meant to be a joke and she even shot me a glare but I couldn’t help it. Not only was it comical to me, but it was also senseless. “Mom,” I say as my laughter finally dies. “People like me aren’t allowed to have peaceful lives like that. Not after everything I’ve done.”

My mother’s lips pursed in disappointment and she looked down at the food she was cooking. There was a silence that somehow sounded sad even though no noise was made. Maybe it was just the atmosphere that I was feeling? And then finally she spoke, “...I hope that’s not true.”

Since my presence only seemed to bring my mother’s bright mood down into the dumps, I reluctantly decided that I should just leave her be. “Lookin’ forward to dinner, Mom,” I said while giving her a single kiss on the cheek. That familiar, lightless look in her summer-leaf green eyes finally came back to life as she smiled again. Once I had cheered her up, I left her side.

“Already choosing favorites, huh?” I grumbled to myself as soon as I was out of hearing range. I couldn’t help but feel butt hurt how she was all smiles and sunshine with Julian and then she got depressed as if she was under a rain cloud that’ll never go away when she was at my side.

Julian… bastard.