Chapter 73: Stepbrother's True Colors

After accepting the fact that I’m a completely utter dumbass, I struggled to find a way to clear up this mess that I had made with Jack. I knew that I had led him on, one of the people I care about most in this world, I have wronged. And I had to make it right.

*But how do I do that? I’ve… never done something like this before… the hell am I supposed to do?*

“Think it over time.” Alex magically answered my inner questions out loud. It’s not the first time he’s read my mind. I still think Julian is better at doing it.

“Yeah…” I rubbed my eyes as if I were getting sleepy. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll do that.” Mason patted my back with a strength that almost knocked me over. I looked back to Julian and Jack again. I couldn’t see Julian’s face but I could tell that Jack looked unsettled.

*The fuck they talkin’ bout?*

I returned to them with Alex and Mason behind me to see what was going on. “What’d I miss? You boys exchanging war stories or birthday parties?”

Jack looked at me with surprise as if he hadn’t noticed me coming. He then looked away from me with hesitation in his eyes. As for Julian, when he looked at me I saw that familiar puppy when he grasped my hand. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I answered him bluntly before turning back to Jack. Aye, I asked you a question.” Mason and Alex may have been oblivious but I could sense something negative from Julian when I pressured Jack further to speak to me.

Jack’s lips pursed as if he were struggling to find the words. When he looked back in my direction, I saw his eyes land on Julian first before resting on me. “...I’m sorry I caused a scene. I hope you're happy and… will be for a long time.”

I was taken off guard by Jack’s sudden change in opinion. *Whoa. What the fuck happened over here?* “Uh… thanks, Jackie. For real.”

Jack smiled at me but said nothing else. It kind of disappointed me…

“We should probably get going,” Julian spoke up for the first time since I returned to them.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess,” I mumbled until a missing member crossed my mind. “Oh! If you see Amy, don’t tell her that Julian was here. I don’t wanna make her jealous.” I said my last words with snarky sarcasm.

Alex rolled his eyes with Mason chuckled. “Don’t worry, we won’t break that lil lass’s heart.”

*Sorry, Amy, but I can’t have you freakin’ the boys out.*

I felt awful for doing this behind her back but I wanted to prevent any more conflicts. I was struck with guilt in two ways, one of them was because of my selfish and reckless treatment of Jack. The other one was that I felt like I exaggerated how Julian treated me. This man has been at my side since the beginning, I just couldn’t open up my mindset to that truth until now.

As I and Julian left my friends behind, I glanced over my shoulder one last time at them. Mason and Alex looked the same goofy, rugged selves as always but Jack had a sadness in his eyes that I couldn’t ignore.

*Fuck. I don’t think I’ve hated myself so much in my entire life.*

And that was saying something for someone as prideful as I was. But ever since coming to the August Mansion, I’ve felt less and less pride in myself.

I looked back at the parking lot that had been my main hangout for years once I was back in Julian’s car. It was gross, it stank of smoke and filth, there were rats all over, and everybody’s ass could be smelt a mile away but the dirty, shitty place was still my home.

Until now anyway.

When Julian started up the car and we left the west-side, I sat in silence. It wasn’t every day that my loud mouth had nothing to say so Julian squeezed my hand in response. As if to help me come back to reality.

“I know Jack has feelings for you,” Julian spoke to me in a gentle tone as if he were talking to a pouting child. “But I also know he’ll get over it. Stuff like this, people always do.”

“Riiight…” I mumbled, my green gaze turning from the window and landing on him. “Would *you* get over it?” I didn’t even mean that question to sound like I was trying to start an argument with him though I know it probably sounded like it. I honestly wanted to know. However, something told me that I already knew the answer.

Julian didn’t bother putting on that perfectly acted fake smile of his, to my surprise. His hand squeezed mine a little tighter before answering my question. “I don’t know.”

“The fuck?” I squinted at him. “What kinda answer is that? It’s a yes or no question.”

“What I mean is…” an unexpected nervous smile crossed his lips this time. “I know you’d want me to so I should say yes. But in my heart, I know that’ll be a *no.* It’ll forever be a no. I’ve told you before.” he turned his head to look at me. “You’re the only one for me. I love you more than I have ever loved anybody else. And if you don’t believe me then… I’ll admit, I love you more than I love my own parents.”

My brows lifted with surprise. *Damn. Didn’t see that coming… damn. Is that what true love is supposed to feel like? …I don’t think I could love anybody more than I love my mom.*

Nonetheless, my cheeks still turned a darker shade when I saw that familiar look in his eyes that made my chest flutter. When we got back to the mansion, Julian opened up both the car door and garage door for me, holding my hand as if I’d lose my way. Any other time I’d feel suffocated and tell him to get lost but right now I thought it was pretty cute.

*I can tell he wants to tell our parents about us but… fuck. I’m still worried about what Mom will say. What will she think? Will she really be happy because I’m happy? It’s supposed to be the other way around! I feel so fuckin’ selfish–*

I snapped out of my thoughts that were slowly becoming chaotic when Julian pulled me close, practically yanking me into his chest as we went into a different room. I didn’t even realize which room that was until I saw the familiar interior that was Julian’s bedroom.

“Eh? What’re we doing here?” I asked dumbfoundedly as I looked around. Part of me thought that we’d wrap the day up with a quick swim or something before dinner. But the sound of the locking door already answered my question. “Oh… cool. I guess I’ll just fucking…” my voice trailed off with sarcasm before Julian even placed his finger on my mouth. The blue fire I saw in his eyes this time immediately set my nerves jarring. “You horny bastard, again? Not even my sex drive is that drastic!”

“Who said anything about sex?” the handsome blonde asked nonchalantly before catching me off guard when he swooped me off of my feet and placed –flopped– me into his bed. “You have the scent of those men all over you.” his voice turned into a hushed but ragged murmur as he started to slide off my clothes. “I’m just cleaning you off.”

“Fucking cleaning me– bro, that’s what a shower is for! I don’t know what your ass plans on cleaning me with but–” my sass is cut short when his lips slammed into mine more roughly than usual.

*Is he still jealous??*

Compared to the last time we were both on his bed, his kisses were a lot more passionate in both a good way and a bad way. It annoyed me that I even felt this way but it felt good to know how much he desired me. The bad way was the glimpse I caught of his gaze when he climbed on time of me.

I took in a deep gasp of air once I was finally able to lift him off of me, or at least far enough that his lips couldn’t reach mine for a second. “Seriously? Can’t this wait?? If you’re that jealous then go be jealous in a corner– not all up in my business!”

“Suki…” he leaned down to whisper in my ear as his hand rested under my chin, his thumb slowly sliding across my bottom lip. “Your business *is* my business now. Understand?”