Chapter 113: Fury Of The Betrayed

“What the FUCK?!?” I screamed as I leaped to my feet, practically rocking the couch as I did so.

Gabriel didn’t look very taken aback. Mom must’ve warned him about my temper to news I considered bad and to be prepared for my burning hurricane. Mom stepped forward with her hands raised in defense, attempting to calm me down. “Honey, please, just listen–”

“Listen? You want me to fucking *listen?!* When was this decided, huh?? How long did you plan for this?!” My furious shout made Mom look away guiltily. I gawked with disbelief when the realization dawned on me and each word I screamed made my throat feel raw. “YOU PLANNED THIS FROM THE BEGINNING?!?”

My mom tried to reach out to me, hoping that her touch would at least calm me down. “I was going to tell you–” She winced when I slapped her hand away.

“Oh, you were?? You were gonna fucking tell me?! When? The day before you leave or the day BEFORE asking me to move in here?!” My mom looked as if she wanted to say something, anything, to fix this situation. But there was nothing she could say to fix this, and she knew it. I bursted into my manic laughter. “You gotta be fucking kidding me! You gotta be FUCKING KIDDING ME!”

“Honey, please–!”

My blazing emotions finally heated into a physical form, and I kicked the couch behind me. I didn’t even have to look at the twins to know that they were wearing identical expressions; complete shock.

“So much for *promises*.” My last words weren’t shouted. No, they were a cruel snarl before I spun around and stormed off.

“Sukia!” she called after me one last time, but I didn’t stop. I didn’t even look back at her. The last expression on her face I saw, the look as if she had just been stabbed through the heart, made me want to spin around and apologize for everything, but my fury prevented me.

*The whole reason I moved into this fucking mansion is just to look after her and now she’s fucking LEAVING?! What’s worse, she already had this planned!* I knew damn well why she didn’t tell me. She knew that if she told me, then I’d never agree to move in with her. It felt like she was lying to me this whole time. I felt betrayed and it hurt. It hurt so badly.

Even when I marched into the garage and slammed my car door shut once I was behind the steering wheel, I didn’t have the strength to turn around and go back. No, I wanted to be anywhere but here. I slammed my foot down on the gas pedal and flew forward so fast that the wheels actually took flight off of the concrete. The bounce was enough to give anybody whiplash. It wasn’t something I wasn’t used to. Jack had slammed on the brakes out of habit, accident, and on purpose when he had driven us all over the place in his rusty, shitty bucket that was legally identified as a ‘car.’

*Jackie…*

A subconscious sniffle brought me back to my senses, and I wiped away a transparent bead on the corner of my eye with my thumb. *Fuck, when did I become such a fucking crybaby?? This mansion is destroying my own fucking identity!*

My foot didn’t let up off the pedal for a single second. The roar of the engine grew louder and louder when the speed spiked drastically. Going downhill would do that to ya. I may not have blared any music, but the wealthy folk who did spot my car moving at the speed of light still looked startled that such dangers could be in their east-side neighborhoods. Yeah, I was a danger. A danger to everyone, even my own self-destructive desires. And yet, lately, I haven’t been feeling too proud about that anymore.

*It’s all that fucking mansion’s fault. Everything…! For what?! What was all of this for??*

I knew honeymoons don’t last forever, but she was still leaving my side when she knew that the only reason I agreed was to keep an eye on her and keep her safe. How was I supposed to do that now?! What’s worse–

The image of the twins that gave my life hell crossed my mind.

*I’ll be left alone with those two… fuck. Fuck. FUCK! There’s no way in hell I’m fucking living there alone with those crazy bastards!*

Ironic. Once upon a time, I was the one considered a crazy bastard. I was the most insane cutthroat there was. And now look at me…

I’ll just have to move in with Amy or get back together with the boys– My heart clutched with pain when I remembered Jack won’t be among them. …Maybe I can’t get back with the boys. As much as I care about Mason and Alex, I… it just hurts too much. I can’t. Not yet. The stress of it made my stomach sting with an ache and nausea punched in the gut once again, reminding me of my biggest problem. I’m pregnant.

*Shit…! Amy will have to know. What will she say? What will she think? That I’m a fucking idiot for falling for Julian’s acting? I already knew I was born a fucking moron! FUCK!* My tangled thoughts started making me doubt that going to live with Amy while Mom was away from the honeymoon. There were only a handful of people whose opinions meant everything to me. And Amy’s is one of them.

*If she found out then… she’d be so disappointed in me. I can’t…*

“FUCK!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and slammed on the brakes. The tires gave a loud screech and the car almost spun out of control. I panted from finally dragging my pathetic carcass out of the violent storm in my head, but it didn’t stop me from pulling at my hair as if I were trying to rip it out. “Fuck… fuck!” My desperate whispers ended in an exhausted, shaky sigh.

*What am I supposed to do now?* Once I came to my senses, I looked around at my surroundings. I had no destination planned. I was driving just to drive, blinded by my emotions and suffocated in my trauma. *Oh…* Realization dawned on me quickly and I stepped out of the car just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. I had unintentionally driven to the place where Jack’s body had been found in the ditch. The pain in my chest punched the oxygen out of me again. *Jackie…*

I had already swerved off of the road when I slammed on the brakes, so I didn’t need to worry about moving my car out of the way. I didn’t know what I was doing. I never do when I’m in this state of mind. I’m not here, that’s all I know.

I walked over to the ditch and slid down to the bottom. The weeds were tall enough to hide anything, but the flood flattened them out. That's how his body was found. If it wasn’t for that, Jack would’ve rotted away down here and nobody would even know it.

*Would anybody care if I died like that? Just rotted away and nobody knows where I’m at?*

I need to stop thinking like that… No good would come from it. Sometimes it feels like I’m preparing for my death. But it has to all be in my head.

I sat down in the ditch and hugged my knees in the place where Jack’s body was found. Something I did when I was overwhelmed and needed comfort. The last time I did this was when my mom first called me months ago and told me that she remarried. Never in a million years did I think that the next time I’d be doing this again was to grieve Jack’s death. And no matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t think of anything to distract me. Everything that came to mind was Julian.

*Fuck it all…*

I hugged my knees tighter as my head hung in defeat. Me, the almighty ruffian queen. Fuck, how I have fallen.

Not even the sound of an approaching car made me move a muscle. My car was out of the way on the road, so there was nothing to worry about. I didn’t even shift in the slightest when I heard the engine grow quiet and the wheels slow to a stop.

*Oh boy, I wonder who that could be…*