Chapter 150: Survivor

Void.

But no fire.

No flood.

A gentle warmth, and then a growing, blinding light.

A steady beating sound woke me from a calm slumber. The hell is that noise…? My eyes fluttered open, the long lashes barely helping to keep the sunlight to a minimum for my adjusting eyesight.

There was a startled gasp at my side and I barely had time to react before a hand tightly clutched me. “Sukia!” It was my mom. Her puffy, green eyes looked like she was about to cry again. “My baby! I thought that–” Mom rested her forehead against my hand, unable to finish her sentence.

Not knowing my location and situation didn’t cross my mind as I watched her, instead my hand squeezed hers since my throat still ached.

Mom’s smile returned as she wiped her eyes. “I’m so happy you’re ok.” My throat ached too much to talk but the confusion on my face must’ve been visible on my face because she started answering my questions before I could ask them. “You’re in a hospital. You’ve been unconscious all day. The doctor said not to worry and it may take some time because of how much blood you lost, but,” Her smile grew with growing strength. “I knew you’d recover before then.” She brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. “You’ve always been as tough as your daddy.”

After everything that happened, it felt as if it had been forever since my heart warmed with happiness. A single sentence breathed life back into me.

*A hospital? I think this is the first time I’ve ever been in one, let alone near one.*

My tired gaze moved to the door when I heard it open. My warm heart sunk into a sickening feeling when I saw Gabriel walk in. His eyes were just as puffy and the enthusiastic, jolly man looked miserable.

I have to try to say something. My throat hurt like hell, but he needed to hear it.

“Gabe.” My voice cracked. Both of them looked startled–likely told that I wouldn’t be talking anytime soon either. “I’m so sorry.”

“N–no,” Gabriel weakly stuttered. “Save your strength. Julian told me everything. Nothing was your fault.”

“That doesn’t change–” I flinched at the stabbing pain but continued. “That doesn’t change what happened. I… this should’ve never happened. Grace is… Grace is–” The growing tickle turned into an agonizing couch that burned my throat.

“Honey, please don’t push yourself.” My mom murmured, but I didn’t listen.

“Grace is dead because of me.”

“Grace died because of her own actions…” Gabriel choked, wiping his eyes. “Julian confessed everything. They took you hostage and abused you. The stab on your thigh was infected and your dislocated thumb will have some lifelong effects, according to the doctor. I didn’t realize he had run out of his medication… he confessed when it got back into his system. And…” Gabriel looked down at my stomach. “He confessed about what was going on between the two of you, too.”

I flinched. That wasn’t my proudest moment. I just wish the cat didn’t have to come out of the bag at a time like this.

Mom squeezed my hand tightly. “Honey… why didn’t you tell me? I asked you several–”

“Because I didn’t want to disappoint you.” My voice was a regrettable shout, but I couldn’t feel the pain as I got worked up. “I wanted to be better for you and I… fuck, Mom. I fucked up so badly.” I attempted to wipe my eyes, realizing that my hands had new bandages on them. After a second, I looked at her worriedly. “Is the baby…?”

My mom smiled gently. “Yes, the baby is fine.”

I released a relieved, shaky sigh. I was at least able to accomplish that much. My relief turned hesitant when I looked up at Gabriel. “And Julian…?”

Gabriel’s frown deepened as he looked away. My stepfather was struggling to make eye contact with me. I wondered if he felt shameful since it was his kids that caused this. “...At the moment, he’s been hospitalized.”

“And Grace?” Not that it matters anymore…

“Her funeral will be held tomorrow.”

“How about we change the subject?” Mom interrupted us. I realized it wasn’t for my sake, but for Gabriel’s. The man looked like he was going to fall apart. I couldn’t blame him. First his wife left him and now his children are a wreck.

“Wait–” I looked up at my mom. “Is Amy ok?”

“Amy is fine.” Mom gently rubbed my hand. “She called the police as soon as she had service. Me and Gabriel were already on our way back. I’m sorry it took so long, the storm kept delaying us.” Mom brushed some of my hair behind my ear. “Stop talking, honey. You’ll only make your throat worse.”

There were still things I wanted to ask; where’s Amy now? Do my friends know? Can I attend the funeral? But my mom was right. My bandaged throat was starting to feel like it was going raw. I rubbed my stomach out of habit, as if I were seeking comfort or attempting to be strong.

Mom noticed. “We took an ultrasound on you to see how your pregnancy is coming along.”

I shot Mom the stink-eye. The thought of being handled in my sleep was annoyingly frustrating. *Are they even allowed to do that?*

She amusedly chuckled, as if she were expecting that to be my reaction. “It’s a boy.” The worried look in my eyes made her add in one more thing. “And only a boy.”

I sighed again and winced at the growing burn. My mom gave me a cup of cold water with a straw to soothe it. I knew I couldn’t handle twins. Hell, I don’t even know if I can handle one… In a way; I guess I was also relieved it was a boy. I felt that I’d be able to relate better with a boy. I was never good with girls, except for Amy.

*It’s all over… I’m out, and somehow I’m still alive.*



The road to recovery wasn’t easy. I learned the hard way that the twin’s influence had left a scar on my mind that I couldn’t ignore and in the end; I accepted my mom’s pleading offer and sought help. The stab to my calf did more damage to the nerves in my muscles than I thought and I had to go to physical therapy while I was at it, all the while my belly grew rounder. Surprisingly, out of everything, quitting smoking was the easiest for me.

My friends were allowed over to the mansion whenever they’d like and even allowed to stay the night. Mason and Alex reacted as if they were put in a different dimension. Meanwhile, Amy lived it up in the pool. As for Liam, he came only to take care of me since I still wasn’t 100% and I wouldn’t be for a while.

Grace’s funeral haunts me daily. Seeing her pretty face on a pale corpse surrounded by flowers just as beautiful as she was is still hard to accept. I missed our catfights and spiteful arguments. Looking back on them now, I smirked at the thought of how petty we were. If only she hadn’t gone mad with power. I’d go as far as to say that I miss her.

As for Julian… the man remained hospitalized instead of being sent to jail. He wasn’t in his right mind. Some believed it wasn’t his fault, others thought he still should’ve gone to prison. I tried not to think about it, but it was the same as if we were still living under the same roof. He crossed my mind every day.

Julian constantly asks to see me, for me to visit him. But I can’t do it. I’m not ready. I’m still scared. And I have more important things to think about… that’s what I told myself.

I’m trying to change my ways and be a better person. But if there’s one thing I’m struggling to change, it's that I keep lying to myself. It’s how I coped my entire life.

*Julian…* Julian. I think I cared about you. I knew his life would be never the same, and I hated how it made me feel. I pitied him. And if there was anything I could do to make it better, I wish I could tell him that.

And I… think I will.