Chapter 49: To Be Loved

My frustration over the unexpected rejection turned into aback shock when he displayed a different reaction I wasn’t expecting, let alone had ever been shown before. The look in his eyes was enough to tell me that he had different intentions. It was no lust, it felt more romantic. A feeling I wasn’t used to and most of me didn’t trust it.

*Can I really accept this…? Will I change?*

The question of wondering if love would change me into a better person allowed him to lean closer to my face to kiss me. And as soon as I closed my eyes, the first thing I see is Julian and my hand swiftly flew between our faces, covering Liam’s mouth right before our lips could make contact. This time it was his turn to look confused and I was honestly just as confused by my own actions, my body practically had moved on its own. As I tried to think of the words to say for my excuse, I was at a pathetic loss of words. “I…”

*Fuck! What am I supposed to even say to this?? Give a fuckin’ apology!?*

Before I could think of anything else to say, Liam leaned away from me and gave me an apologetic smile. “No, it’s fine. I moved too fast. I didn’t mean to surprise you.”

I looked away from him with burning cheeks as I rubbed the back of my neck. “That’s an understatement. You could’ve warned me.”

Liam’s smile unexpectedly faded. “The same could be said of you.” he looked away from me this time as he mumbled. “I didn’t ask you to come on a date with me for sex, you know.” My eyes widened as I stared him down.

*Did he just say what I think he just said!? I am hearing English, right? Right??*

As much as I wanted to voice my own opinion, the thought of Julian still lingered in the back of my mind. It wasn’t paranoia that he would find out and not be happy about it, it was a different feeling. A feeling that left me unsettled. I couldn’t say why I felt like this but I knew the feeling all too well.

Longing.

“...I’m not the committed type of woman. Sorry.” I mumbled this time while avoiding eye contact. It wasn’t a lie but it was the only excuse I could think of too.

Liam gave a shake of his head and placed his hand on top of mine. “Believe it or not, I still had a nice night with you. If you’re not opposed to the idea, I’d like to go on another date with you.”

I finally turned my gaze back toward him. Usually, men back up before their teeth meet my fist just for being persistent in getting me, and yet when Liam did it, it wasn’t annoying. It almost felt intriguing but… perplexedly, it felt wrong. So I gave him a response that was no more than a silent shrug as in a ‘maybe.’ I wanted to but my emotions were too tangled to make a proper decision.

Liam got the point that his question could get an answer that leaned either way but it still seemed to satisfy him, I could tell just by the look in his eyes. He slid off of the hood of his car and helped me off by gently holding my hand. The man even walked me back to my own car and opened the door for me.

“You’re an overdoer. My arms aren’t broken.” I gave a grumpy grumble though my expression showed I wasn’t truly upset over it. It actually felt rather nice to have a man be a complete gentleman for me. The only other person that had ever done that for me was Julian.

*Julian…*

He gave an amused chuckle to my sass but didn’t talk back to me. Instead, he gave my door a tap in his farewell. “I’ll text you later.” it looked like he was about to say something else but he quickly bit his tongue as if he had thought that’d completely ruin the night. In the end, he reached his hand over to my face and tucked some of my loose, curly bangs behind my ear. “Goodnight, Sukia.”

I stared up at him speechlessly. I had no idea how to react to him since I’d never been in situations like this before. I was used to only having sexual relationships. Romance was a completely different field. I didn’t want to give him a simple body language as a vague answer, I actually wanted to say how I felt.

*Why is talking like this so different? Damn, I need therapy.*

“Yeah… ‘night.” was the best response I could give him. Thankfully, it seemed to be enough for him since he gave my car’s door one last pat along with a nice smile before walking off back to his own car. Finally, alone, I take in a deep breath of air as if I had been holding my breath this entire time.

*Holy fucking shit.*

With a loud rev of my engine, I drove back to the Augustus Mansion. Along the drive, I was still lost in my thoughts. Why did I hesitate when Julian crossed my mind? Why did he even cross my mind in the first place? I fucking hate that crazy bastard. I can’t wait till the day comes when I never have to see him again! He’s aggravating, annoying, frustrating, hot, and– no. Not hot. No. I mean, yes hot but no!

I was subconsciously tugging at my stray locks of hair with my free hand from the steering wheel as if I were trying to yank them out of my skull. I couldn’t understand my own emotions. And part of me feared that my hesitation to accept Liam’s feelings was because my heart already belonged to another man.

*There’s no way in hell. I’d rather die. *

I didn’t even notice the time when I finally came home until I left the garage and came into a house with all of the lights off.

*Damn. Mom didn’t even send me a text. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.*

With a tired sigh, I was about to make my way upstairs but stopped as soon as I heard a sound and the call of my name from the one voice I had been trying to avoid.

“Sukia…” Julian approached me from behind and I didn’t bother to turn around to face him. “Where’d you go this time?”

“That’s none of your fucking business, Julian.” I sassed him mercilessly. Any normal person would’ve given me space but he had the audacity to hug me from behind instead.

“I was worried about you. You’re always coming home late–”

“What do you not get by FUCK OFF–” my shout was hitched at the end as his arms that were wrapped around me squeezed my smaller body. The fire inside me dwindled as I felt a familiar shiver run up my spine. The tall man leaned his head down low enough where his lips could graze the rim of my ear, and his hot breath stirred the stray strands of hair.

“You look really pretty tonight…” his words made my heart pound. It didn’t even cross my mind that he would have the common sense to know that I was trying to draw attention from another man by dressing up with revealing clothes. My petite body was easily taken control of as he hugged me harder, making my body sink into his to the point my buttocks were nestled in his crotch. His next words left a more intense shiver rolling down my spine. “Who were you dressing up for, Beautiful?”