Chapter 120: Stormy Farewell

“Huh?” I tried to sound confused. “Why would I know where Julian is at?”

*I don’t have his scent on me, do I? His scent really… has its own flavor to it. Wait– do I smell like sex?!*

My mother shrugged her shoulders with her hands behind her back, unable to meet my gaze. “You both left together.” She eventually peeked at me. “You both looked like quite a pair when you danced.”

*So she did see that… fuck.*

I couldn’t resist heaving a sigh. “No, Mom. I don’t know where Julian is at.”

How long has he been gone? How long have I been asleep? It was hard to tell since the darkness outside was from storm clouds.

“I see…” there was a deafening silence between us as if she were trying to find the last words to give me before her departure. “...Will you be ok? You know, taking care of yourself being pregnant and all?”

“I’ll be fine.” I gave her a forced smile. “You… you just go have fun.”

*Please, don’t leave me.* I knew my thoughts were selfish, and I didn’t want to burden her.

A small smile formed on her lips. “Ok. I will. But…” her smile faded. “I’ve been avoiding asking this for your sake but… who is the father, Sukia?” she tilted her head curiously. “Is it that Liam fellow?”

Nausea kicked me in the gut like a wrecking ball. I looked away from her, knowing that shame had to have been reflected in my eyes. I wanted to tell her the truth. I needed somebody’s, anybody’s, comfort right now. But even before all of this, I was determined to keep our relationship a secret for her sake. And now this happens?

My mother couldn’t see the struggle in my eyes, so she stepped forward and gave me another hug. “Don’t worry about it, honey. You can tell me when you’re ready.”

*I’ll never be ready…*

“Mhm…” I tried to make my tone sound at least a little happy with a hum since I knew depression would reek from my words, suffocating her heart.

“Honey, do you want–”

“Hey, Mom.” I should have known that I’d had no choice but to speak if I wanted her to leave with peace of mind. “Could you tell Gabriel I said I hope he had a good time? I hope both of you have fun. Uh… send pics, yeah?”

Mom’s smile returned. I sounded convincing enough this time, thankfully. “I will. I’ll text you every morning, every day, and every night!”

“Uh, just a few a day is good with me…” I mumbled and she gave me a playful punch to the arm.

“Alright, honey. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks! Don’t have too much fun without me~” she gave me a playful wink.

*You have no fucking idea…*

“Uh-huh.” I gave her a half-wave. Meanwhile, she practically flopped her hand from side to side before leaving. *Again. How am I related to her? She’s like a ray of sunshine and I’m as stormy as the clouds outside…*

I walked over to the balcony’s door and stepped outside, resting my arms on the railing as I watched my mom and Gabriel down below. Gabriel was giving Grace a suffocating hug goodbye. Fuck, am I glad I stayed in my room. Gabriel looked like he was starting to get emotional and almost squeezed Grace’s eyeballs out of their sockets. I snorted.

*Damn. He got more worked up than I did!* I felt like a giant idiot as I watched them. Mom was right. It’d only be a couple of weeks.

My throat tightened when I saw the familiar figure of Julian come out of the garage. Both Gabriel and Mom lit up, likely thinking they wouldn’t get to say goodbye to their only son. Gabriel gave Julian that ‘bro hug’ meanwhile my mom gave him a pathetic bear hug. Poor woman wasn’t as strong as she was the last time I saw her, so many years ago.

As if she already knew I was watching, Mom looked up at my balcony and gave me a sweet smile with one last wave. I returned it, no matter how reluctant I was. And then my heart felt as if it were shattering into a million pieces when I watched the two of them get in a shiny, white car and drive off. The clap of thunder could be heard in the distance the farther away they got. A droplet landed on my hand, the beginning of a downpour.

When I looked down at Grace and Julian, they looked as if they were talking about something exciting. That is, until they both looked up at me at the same time, identical smiles on their faces. The second clap of thunder made me jump.

*Fucking hell!*

I stormed my way inside and slammed the balcony door behind me. The broken glass rattled behind the duct tape. I paced back and forth in my room, my anxiety overriding my nausea.

What am I freaking out over? It’s not like I’m actually gonna be alone under this roof. There are still the maids and gardeners. Besides, I could always slaughter my soul and go spend the next couple of weeks with my friends. And… hope that Julian doesn’t follow me.

I jumped again when multiple knocks tapped on my door. Everybody had their own unique knock. My mom’s was cute, quick taps. Mine was the loud bangs like a police officer. My friends had a rhythm like a chime from a phone. And Julian’s… I didn’t like how slow it was. It was creepy as fuck.

“What do you want?”

“To talk.”

“Talk about what?” I crossed my arms and glared at him through the door. “Did you get the damn pill or what?”

“About that… they were all sold out.”

“They what?!” It was haunting to know that even if I wasn’t pregnant, I might as well be right now. “Did you go to a different store?”

“A storm was coming in fast and I didn’t want to get caught up in it… our parents are going in the opposite direction, so they should be fine.” I didn’t respond to him and his tone turned concerned. “Beautiful?”

“I told you to fuck off with that word, Julian!” I angrily barked.

“I’m sorry… can I come in? Please? I just want to see you–”

“And you can fuck off too!” I had no reason to hide my shouts. “I don’t wanna hear your voice for the rest of the fucking night!!”

I wanted to be left alone, more badly than normal. My mom just left me behind… no shit, I’ve got the blues. And Julian wasn’t as comforting as he used to be, not after I’d witnessed his true colors.

There was an eerie silence before he responded to me with a quieter voice. “... I understand. I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the night.”

When I heard his footsteps fade, my crossed arms turned into tightly hugging myself. I felt like Julian didn’t even try to find another solution to keep me from getting pregnant. I didn’t want to believe that Julian would go that far, but my gut told me that he was lying…

*Fuck this shit.*

The rain grew heavier by the second, soaking my balcony that was once bone-dry. I got a hold of my phone, preparing to dial anybody’s number. I was willing to suck up my conscious doubts just so that I could get out of here. But as soon as I unlocked the screen, there were no bars. There wasn’t even an internet signal.

*What the fuck?!*