Chapter 15

Insecurities 2
MIRIAM'S POV
I was so angry I still have this thing growing in me. I needed my freedom. I needed to start doing the things I have stayed away from for such a long time and there is no way I can be effective with this pregnancy.
While they were all happy and celebrating like they just won a trophy, I sat back looking at them like they had gone insane.
"What's wrong Miriam? You don't look happy." Ivy asked me and I gave her a deep sigh.
"I'm not strong." I responded and she came close to hold me.
With anger, I pulled out the string through which I was injected and got up from the bed.
Everyone one was surprised to see me in that mood. I didn't mind them, I just walked out of the door. I wanted to go tell the doctor myself that I was leaving. I don't need any extra care that would keep this baby.
If going home will translate to losing the child, so be it. That is exactly what I want.
The three of them came after me in a hurry as they met me in the reception trying to ask the receptionist where the doctor's office is.
"What do you think you are doing?" Daniel said but I didn't even look at him because I was more focused on meeting the doctor myself.
It is either he helps me procure an abortion or let me go home so I can do it myself. I have a lot of work to do.
I was at the verge of losing my pack to my beta. The elders no longer have faith in me. How am I ever going to win their hearts back when I am heavy with the child of my enemy.
"You go down the hallway, then take your right. The first office is the doctor's office." She simply stated.
" Thank you." I responded and she smiled.
"What are you doing?" Daniel asked me as he kept following me.
Cherry and Ivy stood in the reception holding themselves tightly.
I opened the doctor's office door without even knocking and entered the office. He was seated there probably talking to the caregiver of a patient just as he spoke with Daniel concerning me.
"You should be resting Miriam." He said as soon as she set eyes on me.
"Discharge me now." I ordered and he looked confused.
" Please ignore her doctor." Daniel said as he entered the office and moved ahead of me to talk to the doctor.
"Don't you dare interfer Daniel. This is entirely my business and I decide what happens." I shouted Daniel down and he let me have my way.
"I have two things to ask of you doctor." I told the doctor but he didn't even look at me. He rathee asked the lady he was speaking with to excuse us.
"Go ahead, I am listening." He responded and I sat on the seat the lady left.
"Good." I began as I used my fingers to make irregular beats on the table.
"I need an abortion." I stated and both the doctor and Daniel streamed.
" What do you mean by you need an abortion for God's sake?" Daniel asked me but I didn't even give him attention.
"Well, we can't procure an abortion for you here. We can only do that if the baby poses a threat to you and in this case there is nothing like that. You are fit to carry this pregnancy to full term." The doctor explained.
" Save me that shit doctor. It is either you help me get an abortion or you discharge me. I'm not spending another hour here." I stated and they were both dumbfounded.
" Give me a moment doctor, I need to talk to her." Daniel said and dragged me out of the doctor's office because I refused to go with him.
"You are not serious about this are you?" He asked and I just smiled.
" So I look like I am joking right? Watch me then." I told him and walked out on him.
I went back to the doctor's office and asked him if he was done thinking about what I have just told him but he insisted he will not conduct an abortion.
"Then you have to discharge me so I can go get it elsewhere." I told him but he was still reluctant.
" I thought you were excited about this pregnancy at first?" He asked me.
" Well, I am glad you said what you thought." I said sarcastically.
"Leave my office at this moment." He instructed and I screamed at him before leaving.
Seeing that he wasn't ready to do my biddings, I decided to make the whole place uncomfortable for every one of them.
And just as I planned, the doctor ordered that I should be discharged in less than thirty minutes.
Ivy and Cherry packed the things we had come with and the ones we bought within the short time we spent there.
Our drive home was a very quiet one. No one spoke to each other. Even when Ivy started a conversation, I did not join in.
We got home and I alighted from the car as soon as it was parked.
"You should be more careful." Ivy told me as I slammed the door at her face.
She was the one seated with me at the back while Daniel and Cherry were in front.
I ran straight to my room and locked it up. I laid on the bed and cried my eyes out. I kept hitting my stomach hoping I could start bleeding again but nothing happened.
"I can see you are determined to ruin me but I will not let you." I spoke to my foetus as though it could hear me clearly.
I spent the rest of the day all alone in my room crying and cursing Christopher and the child.
Cherry, Daniel and Ivy kept knocking on my door but I refused to open up. When they were probably tired, they left me alone and I was able to sleep for a while.
I woke up in the middle of the night and thought of what to do. I didn't have the slightest idea of what to do to get this thing out of my stomach. I started crying again because I felt trapped.
"Stop doing this to yourself Miriam, it is not worth it." Daniel's voice came from the other end.
" Leave me alone Daniel. Stay far away from me, I don't need you." I said amid sobs but he kept knocking on the door that I was beginning to get pissed with him already.
By the time he stopped knocking, I assume he had left so I decided to open the door. I was badly hungry and I needed something to eat.
As I opened the door, Daniel fell inside my room. He had slept at the door with his head resting on it so as soon as I opened it, his head landed on my leg.
He was a deep sleeper so he didn't even wake up. I just left him there and headed to the kitchen.
I got some food and when I was done eating, I took the leftovers to my room.
He was still there, sleeping at the position I kept him when I left. So I carefully pushed him out of the room and laid him down.
Since crying was not working, I tried to sleep but I still couldn't find sleep. I slept a lot during the day while I was in the hospital.
Before I knew what was going on, I slept off and woke up to several people banging my door.
"How the fuck do I get these folks off my tail?" I asked myself as I stretched my body.
I turned and saw myself in the dressing mirror. I had taken off my shirt before I slept off so I had just my brazier on.
I noticed that my stomach was already protruding. It then dawned on me that this thing in here is determined to stay. It was already growing really fast.
"Miriam, Miriam, Miriam,,,," I kept on hearing my name from different people and it sounded like they were coming from different directions and not just from my door.
"Please open the door." Cherry cried out. It amazed me that she could not hold back her tears, this is one thing I do so well. I commended myself.
Afterwards, I moved to the bathroom to freshen up and as I opened the door, I saw blood stains on the floor. I sighed and moved away from it.
After losing this amount of blood, this baby still refused to leave and that annoyed me.
When I was done, I came out of the room and headed out. The plan was to get a hospital where I could have this procedure so I can live my normal life as I should.
Take up my responsibilities fully as Alpha so I don't end up losing everything.
I have lost Christopher and my position as Luna in his wolf pack, I will also lose my child but it was better than losing my position of alpha here too.
I got to the gate and the security refused to let me go. I was paranoid.
"What do you mean by I can't go out?" I asked them angrily.
"I gave them the order not to let you go out." Daniel spoke from behind me and Ivy and Cherry ran past him after me.
"Don't touch me." I said to both of them and they stopped as though they were frozen at the spot.
"How dare you Daniel?" I raised my voice at Daniel as I walked towards him.
"And you are out of your mind if you think I would let you do something stupid to yourself." Daniel retorted and I boiled in anger. Immediately I jumped on him and scratched him with my claws which were already out.
He did his best to control his wolf so he did not hurt me. I came back to myself and I got off him. He carried me inside and laid me on the couch.
The two ladies did their best to avoid me even as I laid helplessly on the couch. Daniel cleaned himself up and came back to me.
I kept staring at a spot in the ceiling like someone who is blind. I didn't even blink, not even when Daniel spoke to me.
"Take care of her." He told my friend and his girlfriend and they both nodded.
As soon as he left the house, Cherry ran off to the kitchen to get me food. Ivy did her best to stay close to me but she wasn't comfortable. She was probably scared I would hurt her just as I did to Daniel.
I wanted to tell her I would not hurt her but it seems I lost my voice. I couldn't speak so I kept mopping at her.
"You are going to be fine." She finally spoke to me and that felt like all I needed.
Cherry came in with a plate in her hand. She came to me, lifted me up and helped me sit. Then she started feeding me.
I saw so much love in her eyes and I was so happy to have her in my life. I kept opening my mouth to take the food as she brought them.
Ivy, seeing Cherry's boldness, came closer and offered to help her but she refused.
When I was done eating, I felt sleepy so I laid on the couch but Cherry raised my head and laid it on her lap and patted my back until I fell asleep.