Chapter 27

Fears of failure.
CHRISTOPHER'S POV
I was in deep pain and I can't think of what could get me out of all of it. All I could do was think about my life and how miserable I have been since Miriam left.
I had thought that I would be better after her departure. I thought she was my problem. I have always complained about almost everything she does for me, even when she was clearly looking out for me.
"Indeed, you only get to see the value of what you have when you lose it. I then used my eyes to look for her pictures so I could at least relive some of the memories we shared together but they have been replaced.
It just dawned on me that I didn't do anything to get Louise bring back the pictures she took from my room and replaced them with hers.
I jumped off the bed like something pushed me out and as I stepped on the floor, a needle-like object pierced my leg.
I screamed in pain thereafter, I sat back in bed so I could take it off. I felt so much pain as I dragged the object out of my leg, although the pain could not be compared to the one that resides in my heart right now.
Having dragged it out, I took a look at it and it was one of Emily's earrings. This made me feel they had deliberately dropped it here because they knew fully well that I would come in here.
I dropped my leg on the floor after pulling out the earring and kept staring at it. As I stood up and tried to do what made me jump off the bed the way I did, I felt something liquid under my leg. The very left leg that has just been pierced.
I bent over to check it and it was blood. The spot I stood on the tile was covered with blood. I managed to move away from it to the bathroom where I washed my legs and took a towel to clean off the blood stains on the tile.
When I was done cleaning, I left the towel on the floor and started looking everywhere for Miriam's pictures. I scattered everything and everywhere in my room but I could not find them.
"Louise is seriously getting on my nerves. She should better pray I find these pictures, because if I don't, I will kill her with my bare hands." I said to myself as I continued my search.
"Not after you have chosen her over your mate." My wolf spoke to me. This is the first time it is speaking to me in such a long time. Or could it be that I was the one who was not sensitive enough to hear him?
"So, what would you have me do now?" I asked him because I was totally confused. I needed help and I was ready for whatever advice I could get at the moment provided it would give me the results I badly needed.
"You have just one thing to do now that you no longer have a mate and you need an heir. Besides, you need a Luna." My wolf responded and I sat down on a stool in my room to have a conversation with him.
The stool was a perfect reminder of Miriam. She had put it there. It was her favorite spot in the room. You can hardly enter this room and not find her sitting on this stool. My own favorite place was the bed. I kept seeing her sitting on the stool as I sat there.
"So, tell me, how do I get these things done? Things have gone really bad and I don't know how best to remedy them." I said with so much frustration because I was in a delirious situation and I didn't know what to do.
I seemed to have run out of options already and that was not good for me at all.
I waited for a while but my wolf said nothing to me. I was running out of patience so I screamed at the top of my voice and I could hear the echo coming back to me like a wave.
"Why are you quiet now? You have given me an idea; you just told me what to do. Why is it difficult for you to tell me how to go about them now?" I asked him with so much anger but it still said nothing.
I stayed quiet for a while and started listening to the bird's chirp. That was all I could hear and I was enjoying the melody they were making. I walked to my window with the hope of seeing one of the birds and thanked them for lifting my soul.
"Who knows if she wanted your place as Alpha all along?" My wolf asked me and at this point I really felt the urge to hit something. If I saw him, I should have been on his neck by now.
I got to the door and realized it was locked. I did not remember locking the door when I entered here. I didn't even do so after Emily and Michael left so I was confused and started wondering when this happened.
I looked for the keys but I could not find them. This was the height of it. After all this same family of mine had made me go through these past few days, they still have the guts to do this?
"What exactly is going on? Where have I gone wrong? I know I am not such a saint but I believe I deserve some fresh air at times." I said to myself as I pulled myself to the ground.
While I sat there, different thoughts ran through my mind. What was at stake here was the throne and it was as though I had many contenders other than the heir. I wished I could see them and at least ask them what I have done to deserve all of these. I definitely deserve better than what I was getting.
"Pull yourself up and go to bed." My wolf said and those words got me really angry. I have a problem at hand which I must solve urgently. I need urgent solutions but I have not been able to figure things out. Neither has anyone offered to help, not even him. But here he is telling me that I should go to bed.
"What insolence." I replied and I heard my wolf laugh at me.
"For God's sake, why are you laughing? Like what is funny about this situation?" I asked him but he became mute again just as I expected.
While sitting there and scanning my room and the little damage I have done, my eyes spotted the window again and I stood up and walked to it.
As I got there, I stood and looked out hoping to see Miriam and my brother but they were gone. And it was as if they were never there. Will anyone ever believe that I saw them and even spoke to them?
I got the answer already, no one will. I would not even believe such a tale myself. After standing there for a while, my legs began to hurt so I sat on the bed which was the closest thing to me.
I looked at the scattered room and I didn't know where to start the arrangement from but I must do it. I created the mess and I must clean it up.
I got down from the bed and started picking up things one after another. The only problem I had was remembering their various positions. I did not know where I had taken most of the items from and so arranging them was a tedious task.
I kept looking for things and when I was able to find the particular thing I was looking for, I struggled to get a position for it.
About ten minutes into the exercise, I felt so tired that I was assured that I needed some real rest at that point but I told myself I must finish the arrangement.
I struggled at it but at the end of the day I was able to create a space for everything I had pulled out of their various positions except Louise's pictures which I left on the floor. I wanted to throw them out through the window but I changed my mind.
I thought it would be better that I tell her to come get it by herself than disposing of her personal property.
By the time I was done, I looked at the time with my sleepy and teary eyes and saw that it was almost morning.
It was past four am and I was amazed I was able to stay awake that long yet it feels as if I have only been awake for a few hours.
I laid down on the floor where I was sitting and before I knew it, I fell asleep. And I slept for a very long time because by the time I woke up, it was almost noon.
I got up from the floor, stretched my body and prepared to move into the bathroom to shower.
As soon as I stepped my feet on the ground, the pain from the injury I had last night became intense.
I never thought that the pain would be this much. I did not really feel so much pain last night. The only time I felt the pain was when I tried to pull out the earring.
It took me a while to move to the bathroom and I was limping my way through.
By the time I got in, I decided I was not going to spend so much time in the bathroom so it took me a few minutes to shower and I was done in no time.
I was in quite a hurry because I felt I was missing out on what was going on. I need to know what is going on with Louise, her friend, Michael and Emily. I am sure Michael and Emily must have seen Louise and her friend already and the duo must have told them what I did to them yesterday.
I dressed up quickly and ran to the door. I paused when I got to the door because it was open and I already had what looked like a hammer in my hands with which I wanted to break the door.
Now that it was open, I dropped the hammer on the floor and walked downstairs. I kept on limping as I walked down.
A few servants passed me and greeted me on my way down. I responded to them casually. When I got to the living room, I didn't find anyone there. So, I called out and one of the servants answered.
"Good morning alpha." He greeted me as he walked up to me.
"Good morning." I responded indifferently.
"Where is everyone?" I asked as I looked at his pathetic looking self-standing before me.
"They went to the hospital last night and have not returned." The servant stated and I was shocked.
"Hospital? Which hospital?" I asked him as though he had told me that he went with them.
"I don't know sir. Your beta carried Louise and a lady into his car. Then your sister announced that they were off to the hospital." He said.
"Thank you very much." I thanked him and he walked out of my presence.
"I need to go to that hospital. I need medical care myself." I said as I walked upstairs to get my car keys.
When I came down, I thought about the hospital they could be in but nothing came to my mind. So, I decided I was going to the hospital where we had dropped off Mr. James. I should use the opportunity to check up on him.