101 — “Will you help me, girl?”

I open my eyes slowly, trying to get used to the light coming through the window and blinking a few times, smelling the coffee flowing through the room. I spread my hand across the bed, feeling the softness of the sheet not just on my palm but all over my skin, and pull the empty pillow into my arms, hugging it tightly, sensing Julian’s distinctive scent, so masculine, so cozy, *so familiar…*
Now that I think about it, my body reacted so intensely to his cologne, and now it makes me feel at *home.*
I close my eyes, feeling great peace in my chest, happy that things are starting to get into place. It’s too early to say that everything will turn out well, but at least we’ll try.
Letting go of his pillow slowly, I feel my heart skip a beat. I sit up in bed, noticing that I’m wearing one of his shirts — a green one, just like his eyes that looked at me so intensely last night when I told him I loved him. I don’t remember the moment I put it on; perhaps Julian did it when my body collapsed from exhaustion.
Even now, as I put my feet on the floor and try to get up, it feels heavy, as if there are shackles on my feet that try to convince me to stay in the room. Part of me wonders if this is because I fear facing reality, afraid that, once again, the day has dawned and Julian has forgotten what we shared.
But I force myself to get up with a deep breath and leave the room with fearful steps. When I arrive in the large kitchen, I see Julian’s broad back, scratched, with the marks left by me. He’s pouring himself a coffee or something and doesn’t hear me approaching — at least, he doesn’t seem to have noticed.
However, when I stop behind him and hug him from behind, putting a kiss on his back, his voice sounds husky, “Good morning, girl.”
I hide my silly smile in his skin, but he turns around, leaning against the counter as he holds my waist and pulls me against his body... “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, I did.” I place my hand on his bare chest. My answer makes him smile and put a quick kiss on my lips, seeing so easily that it brings butterflies to my stomach.
Julian presses my head against his chest, burying his face in the top of my hair. He inhales deeply, and I wonder if my scent also brings funny sensations to his stomach...
But this calmness doesn’t take long because, suddenly, he kisses me on the hair and lifts his face, reaching for a mug that quickly stops in my hands... “I made you some coffee. I won’t be able to stay long and have a full breakfast. I need to get some workout.”
Julian continues to hold my waist, keeping me close to his body. I feel my hands warm around the mug, looking into it, while Julian adds, “But we can have lunch together.”
I swallow hard, surprised by his sudden suggestion. He looks at me cautiously, with some disappointment in his eyes that causes me a pang of guilt... “Yes, lunch sounds good to me.”
Julian smiles, bringing his hand up to my face and stroking my cheek slowly. “Don’t feel pressured because of me.”
“I’m not.” I move the mug away, place it on the counter, and return my eyes to his, touching over his hand. “I was just surprised. I wasn’t expecting it.”
“You didn’t expect me to invite my girlfriend for lunch and make up for the fact that I’m an asshole who has to leave first thing in the morning?” He gives a playful smile after pouring out all these words, and none affected me more than one specific one...
“Girlfriend?” I repeat with surprise, my hand trembling over his.
“I thought we were clear last night.” Julian leans in, bringing our faces closer together, as his hand slides from my face and fits behind my neck. “About what we both want.”
I look at his eyes and his lips, uncertain of which one attracts me more right now.
“Four years ago, I was a coward. I got scared and tried to forget everything... I tried hard, but no one could make me feel the same way.” He says with his lips brushing mine. I close my eyes, trying to understand what his words mean... what Julian is really trying to tell me. “But now it’s different. Now that I’ve understood what this feeling is, I won’t let you go. I’ll do everything right, and I’ll fight for it, even if I have to face your father.”
I lower my head, making his lips touch my forehead...
“But sometimes, I find myself thinking that if I’d just faced what happened, things would have been different. *If I hadn’t...”*
“Julian.”
“… You wouldn’t have spent four years at that guy’s side... he wouldn’t have hurt you, withered you, and ripped your happiness away bit by bit. I had to watch quietly as he cut off your wings and locked you in a cage like a rare bird, and I couldn’t do anything but watch because it’s my fault that you fell into that bastard’s hands.”
“No.” I raise my face again, looking firmly into his eyes. “I did everything for myself. It’s not fair that you blame yourself...”
“But I...”
“What Eric did to me, what Laura did... they’re the only ones responsible for it. I’m not going to blame myself for other people’s mistakes, and I’m not going to blame you for it. If anyone is to blame, it’s them — not us.”
Julian nods slowly as if he understands my words. Then he gives me a light kiss on the lips again and almost whispers, his voice hoarse, “I’m sorry. I’m just upset that I didn’t understand it before and wasted so much time.”
“It’s okay... we can make up for it now,” I say with a wicked smile, and Julian smiles as well, leaning to give me another kiss... But this time, he places his thumb on my chin and pulls it down, making my lips part so that his tongue slides inside my mouth.
I melt the moment I feel the softness of his tongue, the slow intertwining with mine that he seeks out almost fearfully. His touch on the back of my neck becomes stronger, and he increases the pace, making it a little deeper and hungrier, while playing with my tongue with circular motions to make my legs weak.
Julian presses my hips against him, pressing my belly into the bulge of his sweatpants. Feeling its stiffness brings a moan from deep in my throat, which makes him interrupt our kiss with a little nibble on my lower lip... “You make me hard with just one kiss... It’s been like this since the first time... How come I didn’t notice something so obvious before?”
“Hmm...” I mumble, rubbing against the erection that makes my mouth dry. And that makes him smile, his eyes turning dark, burning with the usual lust that drives me crazy.
“Yeah, I’m so fucking hard right now, Angel... What are we going to do?” Julian asks me mischievously, sliding my hand down his eight-pack. I shiver for feeling the curve of his abs on my fingers and swallow hard when my hand finally rests on his bulge. “I can’t go to the gym like that, can I?”
“No.” I take my eyes away from the hard-on marked on his pants and up to his face, batting my eyelashes slowly. “I don’t want anyone to see it.”
“Who’s being jealous now?” He smiles against my lips and suddenly grabs my waist, spinning me around, trapping me in the kitchen island, and pressing my belly against the counter.
I seal my lips, shivering as his hands run up my thighs, lifting his shirt that’s covering my ass. He leans over my body, making me bend over and spread my hands on the cold surface. His warm breath tickles against my ear, especially between my legs.
“You really have no idea, do you?” Julian asks with a low chuckle, lowering his lips to my shoulder. His hands manage to lift my shirt completely, exposing my bare ass... And I suddenly remember that I’m not wearing anything underneath. “Seeing you in my shirt makes me so fucking horny.”
I bite my lip and move my hips, pulling my ass back and rubbing against the erection so hard it makes me sigh. However, the firm hand on my waist pushes me against the counter again, adding a terrible distance between our bodies.
“Are you going to help me, girl?” Julian strokes my ass, his fingers digging into the middle of my ass, the tip of his index finger rubbing against my dampened hole. I don’t really feel pain, but it’s throbbing and swollen. “Are you going to let me cum inside you?”
I throw my head back, stretching my throat and closing my eyes, trembling with pleasure, “I don’t think I can take it back again...”
“No, no... I want something else today...” He moves his finger down, reaching my wet entrance. His hoarse grunt sends shivers down my spine as much as does his touch on my clit. “Um, yes, I want to fuck your pussy, babe... I miss it so much.”
I feel his lips on my shoulder, giving me a wet kiss that goes up to my neck. His tongue flicks across my sensitive skin, making my entrance burn with anticipation.
“Can I?” He asks against my ear, pulling my waist tight, bumping our hips in a hollow thud that makes me moan low. “Can I fuck your pussy, my love? Can I relieve myself in it? I’m so hard it’s throbbing... Feel it, girl.” He pulls down his pants, rubbing his erection in the middle of my ass. “Feel how crazy I am to fuck you.”
“Yes, yes...” I let out a desperate cry, moving my hips, fitting a little lower — and that makes me sigh. “Please fuck me, Julian...”
“Hah, those sweet words always work magic.” He positions the tip of the cock at my entrance, pushing in just a little to give me a taste of what awaits me.
I close my eyes, shivering again...
“But we’ll have to be quick, okay?”
I nod desperately, my entrance throbbing, eager to be filled completely.
“All right... Let’s see how fast we can be.”