141 — MICHAEL O’NEIL (POV)

I always wondered if I would be able to do this... to be a father, to make things right, to compensate Angelee for all my absence. I’ve done my best all these years; I’ve cried to see her cry, and I’ve smiled at her happiness. I felt her pain like it was going through my chest, and I swear to God, if it were possible, I would feel each and every pain in her place. I would gladly trade it... I wouldn’t think twice and suffer in her place.
But my hands were always tied.
Powerless, *guilty.*
Because of my family, she suffered — her mother suffered, and I’m to blame for that. I didn’t know it, but that doesn’t clear my guilt... it’s something I’ll carry forever. And I don’t mind having it, I really don’t. *That’s my martyrdom.*
There’s no way I can lay my head on the pillow with a clear conscience, knowing that she’s probably crying silently in the bedroom. There’s no way I can forgive myself when *Angelee has forgiven me;* someone has to blame me, hate me... And I do it for both of us.
After all, how could I let it go?
I could see through her fake smile every day. Even in grief, she worried about me and did her best not to bother me.
And I was so scared, afraid that it would break her for good.
But it didn’t... it was around the time she started dating that guy Eric that she began to heal.
I thought it was his good influence, but I can see it now... Whenever she was close to Julian, Angelee was able to smile with her eyes. They always shone with love and admiration amid a sad countenance.
Now, she shines with happiness...
Angelee is smiling, loving, living again.
*And it was Julian who gave her all that back...*
Julian, my annoying boy who grew up to be an admirable man... the brother I always wanted to have.
I still remember the first time I saw him... he was so small, innocent, and quiet. I remember asking, *how come he doesn’t cry?* And Jack was proud to say that his little brother was a tough boy.
Today, I can say with confidence that it was those few blond hairs and those curious green eyes that sealed our fates... the same ones that are sparkling with the happiness I feared to have stolen from him with my grudges.
But honestly? All of it disappeared completely when Angelee said those words to me. She asked me not to abandon him, and how could I? Julian has been part of my life — my whole life... he’s been my responsibility ever since Jack asked me to look after him.
“But I’m not going to apologize for punching you in the face.” I chuckle, looking at the delicate ring inside the box. It’s definitely an elegant piece that will look good on Angelee’s finger. I can see that he chose it carefully, put all his heart and effort into it... How could I say no after such an honest request?
“You don’t have to... I deserved that.” Julian sighs, running his hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Mike, that was messed up.”
I give a bitter smile and shrug, “You’re lucky I see you as my family... Otherwise, you wouldn’t have ended up with just that.”
Julian’s expression falters, and his eyebrows lower, frowning; it only lasts for a moment, though... soon, he forces a smile. And maybe we’ve lived together for too long because I know something’s wrong.
I return him the velvet box, and his green eyes, now fearful, look at the small ring before he closes it with a hollow thud. He purses his lips, holding the box that disappears between his clasped fingers, putting it back in the inside pocket of his suit.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, crossing my arms, and notice that Julian raises his eyes, moistening his lips. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
“Actually, when I was buying the ring... I saw Kristen.”
Hearing this name after such a long time certainly causes discomfort; I even feel my stomach twists.
“In the store?”
“Yeah, but if she intended to buy something, she gave up.” Julian sighs, straightening his posture and touching his chest, where the box is. It’s a discreet and involuntary act. “She arrived with a security guard full of bags, but she didn’t buy any jewelry.”
“And what did she tell you?” I squeeze my arms a little tighter. “For you to look like that, she ran her mouth to be unpleasant.”
Julian gives me a subtle smile.
“Kristen... is straightforward as usual, I guess. Perhaps a bit more direct.” Julian clears his throat and looks away, but I can see disgust all over his face. And that is an answer enough.
I’m not a fool, nor am I blind. I always noticed the way Kristen looked at Julian or at the men who paid her a little attention. And I guess I’m to blame for her infidelity since I never gave her any kind of affection.
We were engaged for years, and all she could do was warm up my bed when she wanted it and come to me. Sex wasn’t a thing in my life, so I didn’t seek her or other women out. But Kristen wanted it, and I gave her exactly what she asked for.
But without connection, sex is just emptiness, a pleasure that explodes and then disappears, leaving everything as it is... It can momentarily make you forget the problems inside, but as quickly as it comes, it’s gone — in the end, it’s just you and your demons.
I get why Julian always used to find someone new to satisfy him but kept his distance... there was no connection with those women. But when he found this bond, everything changed.
Honestly, I kind of envy him because the closest I ever felt to someone was with Elisa, and she’s no longer in this world.
I confess, sometimes I feel her loss. We didn’t spend more than a week together, but her presence has been engraved on my mind. I think I can still remember her smile if I think about it, and maybe her voice, too.
“Well, it seems too much to be a coincidence,” I say, clearing the knot settled in my throat and searching for a change of thought. “We haven’t heard about Kristen for years, and she shows up now?”
Julian looks at me apprehensively, and I know there’s more to come.
“What?”
“She told me something that stuck in my mind.” Julian scratches his beard slowly, his eyes wandering around the room. “Which makes me think it’s definitely not a coincidence.”
I don’t like this suspense, the way Julian seems to choose his words; whenever he does that, there’s something I won’t like coming through.
“Just tell me, Julian.”
Julian sighs and looks straight into my eyes.
“Are you sure the engagement is off?”
“What?” I laugh incredulously, thinking this is some kind of joke because, of course, the engagement was called off... I made it very clear seven years ago.
But Julian’s expression stays serious, and there’s no laughter, no playful glint in his eyes.
“What the hell are you talking about? Why are you asking that so suddenly?”
Julian turns his back on me, pacing the room as if he’s thinking; his muscles are rigid, and I can tell he’s not happy about it. In fact, he looks... *worried...?*
“What did Kristen say to you, Julian?” I insist, feeling anxiety bubbling through my veins.
He finally stops and turns to me... “She said that *you’ve been engaged* for so long but that you traded it because of Angelee.”
I feel my heart skip a beat.
“It’s probably a mistake.” I raise my eyebrows, trying to convince myself more than him. “She’s probably being obsessive as usual, expecting me to go back on my decision... you know how she is.”
“You’re right... it can be.” Julian’s eyes get a little darker and more serious when he adds, stealing my peace, “But she’s still in contact with your parents. Did you know that?”
“I figured.” I uncross my arms, letting them fall around my body helplessly. “My family has an old business relationship with Kristen’s.”
“She said our business is going well.” Julian retorts quickly, slowly approaching the table. He stops, holding onto the top of his own chair. “She said it’s going so well that Mrs. O’Neil can’t ignore it.”
I close my eyes and sigh in exasperation, bringing my hand up to my face and sliding it down my eyelids to my chin, reliving damn memories in my head. That day, that office, the looks from my father and Mr. Adams... *The moment our ties were cut.*
“Again,” I say between my teeth, with anger spreading through me. “I’ve already cut our ties, and they still think it’s fair to put their dirty hands on what doesn’t belong to them?”
Julian stays silent, but I know what he’s thinking... It’s not in our families’ nature to just let something go.
But seven years of peace — is that all we’re going to get?
“Typical,” I say bitterly, scoffing.
“Do you think my father is involved too?” Julian asks in a harsh voice, the words coming out between teeth.
“I wouldn’t be surprised, would you? It wouldn’t be the first time.” I expel the words as if they were bitter, but I shake my head, trying hard to calm down and not let my resentment influence Julian; he’s already suffered enough because of me. “You don’t have to worry about that; there’s no chance of them doing anything against J’O Tech.”
Julian doesn’t look convinced... he keeps staring at me with frowning eyebrows.
“I wouldn’t let them.” My voice is firm, as are my eyes. “I was very clear when I cut my ties with the O’Neils. There’s no chance of them manipulating me again.”
There aren’t any changes anymore because I’ve already gotten rid of all the cords that tightened around my wrists and neck. I’m no longer their puppet because I chose not to be.
There is no longer any power over me; they lost everything that day.
“But keep an eye on it, okay?” Julian says with a sigh, running a hand through his hair, messing it up, and moving away from the chair. “I don’t want to get ahead of myself and worry about it... I’ve got enough on my mind right now.”
I smile.
“When are you going to propose?”
“Saturday.”
“Are you still keeping the Saturday thing?” My smile widens, nostalgia spreading through my chest. “I guess you’re still a boy, after all.”
Julian rolls his eyes, then waves his hand, making a goodbye gesture as he walks to the door, “Keep an eye on this.”
“I will,” I say, looking at the wide back that used to be so small as he walks out of the room and leaves me in a deep, uncomfortable silence.
I sit down again, helpless, and put my hands on my head, hiding my eyes behind my palms. My throat feels tight, so I swallow hard to get rid of the knot that has formed there...
But then, I hear the clink of cutlery.
I pull my hand away and lower my eyes, seeing a white cup filled with coffee. I look up, noticing the serene expression on Amelie’s face... an expression that brings me peace and calms my nerves.
“How did you know I needed coffee?”
She shrugs, her lips curving into a smile that she tries to resist. “I know you better than you know yourself, Mr. O’Neil.”