140 — JULIAN ADAMS (POV)

The meeting went off without a hitch, except for the anxiety that was bubbling fast through my veins. My discomfort was so visible that every time I loosened my tie a little more and adjusted my collar, Amelie, Mike’s secretary, offered me a glass of water.
When it’s finally over and everyone gets up, I feel weak. Sweat drips below my shirt even though the AC is on. I pinch the top of my nose, trying to relieve the pressure in my head, the threat of pain that crossed it and made me clench my teeth.
Mike stands up, saying something to Amelie, but I don’t pay attention; I’m so absorbed in my own conflicts that I can’t understand a word he says. She smiles at him... in fact, she laughs softly, shaking her head as she takes the papers from his hands. A subtle smile also reaches Mike’s lips, and his eyes shine as bright as Angelee’s.
They’re really so alike... no wonder I believed the words of that sixteen-year-old girl I’d never met before. I could see Mike in her... no, *everyone* could see it. But they chose to close their eyes and tried to convince Mike to do the same.
They wanted him to ignore the fact that he has a daughter... that he missed her entire childhood, all the precious moments... Mike missed the first word that could be Daddy and couldn’t hold her so tiny in his arms.
He lost all that.
*And thinking about it hurts.*
I used to pity the situation, but now it hurts, it really hurts; my chest tightens and twists, almost making me breathless.
I’m going to be a father, and even though it’s so recent and scared the shit out of me, I can’t even imagine not being there... I want to see my child grow up, even if it brings a chill to my stomach and a lot of uncertainty, doubt, and adrenaline rush.
I’ve been alone for too long in this life, and honestly, I thought it would be like this for the rest of it. I couldn’t see myself getting married, having children, or having my own family, but Angelee awakened that need in me — the desire to be a good man, a good husband, and a good father.
Yes, I want to be a father.
I want to be a husband.
I want to be with them.
“Mr. Adams?” Amelie’s voice wakes me up, catching my confused eyes that blink a few times... “Are you all right?”
She holds the papers close to her chest and looks at me with concern, which makes me feel a bit foolish because people don’t usually have to worry about me.
“Yes, I’m fine...” I say, clearing my throat and straightening up in the chair. My eyes go to Mike, who has an equally worried expression. “Can you give us a minute, Amelie, if it’s not a bother?”
“Sure, I was just about to leave.” She glances discreetly at Mike, and her expression softens, talking to her boss through her gaze. “I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Amelie,” I say, with the air caught in my chest, the words coming out thinner than I’d like.
“Thanks,” Mike says, following her leaving with his eyes. She closes the glass door and looks at me again. I can swear I saw her blink like she was wishing me good luck. Amelie is a really perceptive woman and knows Mike like no one else. So, if she’s encouraging me in silence now, I think I can breathe.
And I inflate my lungs to the max, gathering my courage, searching for the words that I’ve been rehearsing in my head over and over.
“What happened?” Mike finally cuts the silence with his firm voice, immediately numbing my nerves. He doesn’t sound angry or harsh like before... Actually, he sounds like the same old Mike. “You had a crap face at the whole meeting.”
I stand up, unable to stay seated, with this wave of adrenaline making me restless. I walk around the meeting room, running my hand through my hair...
*Where do I start?* All the scenarios I imagined seem distant and wrong now.
I keep searching for an answer when Mike leans against the table, crossing his arms.
“Angelee came to my office today.” I feel my heart skip a beat and shudder. “When she came, I thought she would ask me to take her name off the list of Project Director candidates. But instead... she told me she’ll give it her best.”
A smile threatens to sneak up the corner of my lips, but when I feel Mike’s eyes on me, I immediately fight it.
“Angelee will fight for it, Julian.” He says seriously, looking me straight in the eye. “It wasn’t that long ago that she wasn’t ready to take on the leadership of a project... But now, she trusts herself enough to try.”
Yes, I know... Angelee has become stronger and more confident. She’s found her voice... listening to her heart and doing what she wants, truly free.
And I’m so proud, so pleased that is kind of funny. I like being in control; I’ve even been involved in the BDSM scene... but seeing Angelee taking control of herself brings me a different kind of pleasure, especially when she chooses to hand it over to me. *It’s simply mind-blowing.*
“But not only that... Angelee is happy now. I can see the happiness in her eyes, in her smile... *You* make my daughter happy, Julian.” Mike says, making my heart race. “I have to give you credit for that... you’re responsible for all of this.”
I’m speechless... the words are stuck in my throat, refusing to come out.
“She really loves you.” He says softly, lowering his eyes to his crossed arms. “And I may not be happy with the way things have turned out behind my back, but I can’t deny that you’re good for her... and that Angelee brings out the best in you as well.”
I take a deep breath.
“I want you both to be happy.” He grumbles, squeezing his arms even tighter. “Jack, he... asked me to look after you. But it’s not just that, you know that. You’re my best friend, like a brother to me... And I want you to be happy... you deserve it.”
I swallow hard at the lump in my throat, touching my suit where I know there’s an inside pocket.
“I never thought you’d say that...” He retorts, a little annoyed, hiding his expression behind his palm. “But if you’re truly serious about my daughter, I won’t be against it anymore.”
I breathe a sigh of relief, the air finally finding a gap between the lump in my throat. Mike doesn’t look at me; he also seems to struggle with the words, and I know they’re not easy to let out.
I broke his trust.
I’ve been a terrible friend.
That’s why I won’t make the same mistake this time.
“Mike,” I say firmly, causing him to look at me. His tired eyes, with dark circles under them, show me that he’s had enough of this. He doesn’t want to keep fighting because he knows I’m being sincere and I truly love his daughter.
I grope inside my suit, searching for the little box I’ve kept inside and which, for some reason, I’m carrying around with me like it were the most precious thing in the world. I don’t plan to give it to Angelee yet, but I haven’t been able to tear myself away from this small object for a second.
But now, it’s time.
“You’re my best friend, Mike... But I let you down, and I’m so sorry for that. I really am.” My eyes are honest, and I can feel that Mike has forgiven me, even if I don’t deserve his forgiveness. He’s truly an amazing guy.
If it hadn’t been for you, Mike...
*I don’t think I could have managed to live in a world where you and Jack left me behind.*
“You know, this time... I want to do things the right way.” I take a deep breath, grabbing my courage before it leaves me...
And finally, I pull out the velvet box, immediately attracting Mike’s eyes, which widen as realization falls over him.
“I love your daughter, Michael. I love Angelee so much that I don’t want to spend a day of my life without her... *I couldn’t bear it.* She’s the most precious thing in the world, and I promise that if you allow me to marry her, I’ll do everything possible and impossible to make her the happiest woman in the world.”
“Juls, you...” Mike seems to want to say something, but his voice falters.
“I’m being serious.” I laugh hopelessly, “I’m always serious when it comes to Angelee.”
“Do you want to marry her?” He asks seriously, looking at me so steadily that I swallow hard. I can feel the pressure on my shoulders... So, this is what it feels like to face a father?
“Yes, I do. I want to marry Angelee.”
My answer comes out with conviction, and there isn’t a trace of doubt in me. Just thinking about seeing Angelee hold our child and grow old by my side... brings a warmth to my chest and a chill to my stomach.
I really want to.
Mike steps away from the table, his hands in fists, and takes a step towards me. His broad shoulders and muscles look tense under his suit, and I have to admit that even though I’m an adult and just as strong, I feel apprehensive about his imposing posture.
Mike walks towards me, and I’m ready to take the punch that will hit my jaw. His heavy fist may not have seriously hurt me last time, but it certainly hurts like hell... and it’s curious since boxing has brought me several punches that even have broken my nose, and yet, it hasn’t even come close to hurting like Mike’s fists.
When he raises his hand and stretches it towards me, I grit my teeth and wait for the impact, but I don’t close my eyes... I’m going to face his response with courage.
But the punch doesn’t come — in fact, he holds my shoulder tightly, looking me straight in the eye... and pulls me into a hug.
His arm goes around my back while his big hands give some firm, friendly hits on my back. My eyes widen at this rare display of affection, and I feel an even stronger warmth in my chest, perhaps because memories of my childhood are flooding back...
*Memories of when Jack used to hug me like that.*
Tears well up in my eyes.
“You’re not really a kid anymore, huh?” Mike says sarcastically, but I can see the emotion in his voice. “Jack would be proud of you, Julian... I’m proud of you.”
I stay silent, unable to say anything or move, to blink or even breathe... I’m afraid that I’ll move a single muscle, and tears will start rolling. I’m not an emotional guy, not at all, but still...
“Can you give me your blessing, Mike?” I ask slowly, pulling away to look directly into his eyes as I ask, “Would you allow me to marry Angelee?”
Mike smiles, his hand on my shoulder, and I notice that his eyes are also watery, shining with happiness. “Yes... Please, make my daughter happy.”