81 — “Hold me tight.”

Julian sinks into the bathtub, pulling my body to his. The sensation of the warm water immediately relaxes my muscles while he wraps my body in his embrace, making me sit between his legs. His solid chest against my back is oddly cozy… Somehow, even though we're naked and so close… my body doesn't burn in the same lustful way, even though there's a warmth in my chest.
“Where did he touch you, huh?” He asks me hoarsely, tossing my brown waves past my shoulders, wetting my hair that sticks to his skin.
“I lied,” I whisper, feeling Julian's fingers run slowly up my arm. “He didn't touch me anywhere.”
“Not even in your arms?” He whispers, his lips brushing against my ear, “Or your hair?”
“No, he didn't.” I close my eyes when I feel his lips against my shoulder, placing a light kiss there.
“What about your back?”
I sigh thoughtfully… “Maybe he touched my back…”
Julian moves his body, rubbing his abdomen against my back, almost like cleaning with his own skin… I feel his cock rubbing against the middle of my ass, and it still feels a bit hard…
“How should I punish you?” He whispers in my ear again, pressing his forehead against my temple, “You've put me through hell; it's not fair that I feel this way while you were having fun with another man.”
I part my lips, moving my body to look at him, meeting his really conflicted expression. Julian looks sad — at least, his eyes are reflecting me with conflict. It's like his mind is messy, and he doesn't know where to start tidying it up.
Seeing such vulnerability in this man, who has always seemed so composed and sure of himself, makes me strangely satisfied… after all, he messed up my head for a long time.
“You've put me through hell too, you know… for longer than you can imagine,” I whisper, looking straight into his eyes. “But what's the point of telling you that? You always forget things when you're this drunk; it's always been like that.”
“I'm sorry, babe.” He takes my hand and brings it to his lips, placing quick, light kisses on my fingers. “I'm to blame, okay? I'm not going to punish you for it… So don't punish me too.”
“How did I punish you, Julian?” I release the hand he's holding and run it down his chest, my wet palm mixing with the water drops and steam on his skin. “How? Because I'm moving on? You told me we should be *just friends,* and I did what you told me to do.”
“And I'm sorry for that, Angel.” He pulls me by the waist quickly, making me sit on his lap, resting my knees around his body, “I can't do this… I tried so hard, so damn hard… really tried! I even stopped doing it with brunettes, put a safe distance between us, and tried to move on, to let you go… but I can't do it anymore.”
“What are you saying?” I ask, trembling. His words are heavy… they weigh down my shoulders and completely steal the air from my lungs.
Julian kisses the corner of my eyes, making me close them… and lifts my hips, setting me on his hard-on again…
“You've also been messing with my head for a long time… *for longer than you can imagine.”*
I open my lips to answer him, surprised, stunned… But Julian brushes his mouth against mine, searching for a soft, almost fearful contact. So I swallow those words, those questions I'd so much like to ask… and allow him to kiss me slowly, with his tongue moving forward to meet mine while lowering my hips.
My entrance is widening again to receive him, this time adjusted to his size. There's no urgency in how he brings me down, no quickness in intertwining our tongues… Julian just focuses on exploring my mouth, making me take all of him inside…
And when our hips finally collide, he parts our lips with a husky moan.
My eyes open, and I notice that he has also opened them. His green irises, so close, are a few shades darker than usual… they look lustful, but that's not what makes me hold my breath, but the fact that they look almost… *in love.*
Our breaths are mixing, our lips are almost touching again, but we don't move… I'm just feeling him throbbing inside me, such a good sensation that I'm about to melt.
I threaten to close my eyes again, but Julian whispers, “Look at me, babe… Don't close your eyes; look at me.”
And I obey, my breathing getting shorter and heavier… the feeling of him throbbing inside me without moving makes me so sensitive and shivery that I don't notice a moan escaping through my half-open lips.
“Hold me…” He says, bringing my arms around his neck, “Hold me tight.”
I lean over him, resting my breasts against his hard chest, wet with sweat and steam. Wrapping my arms around his neck, my hand going up to his hair, brushing the fingerprints against the short sides until it reaches up at the longer soft strands. Julian closes his eyes at my caress… or maybe it's because he's overwhelmed by the intense sensations, just like me.
“That's it, babe… hold me tight, stay still.” Julian wraps his arms around my body, holding me, bringing our bodies closer.
I roll my hips, and this sudden movement makes him let out another low, husky grunt, with his stiffness throbbing again. Holding him tightly, I rest my knees on the bathtub and move my hips forward to touch our bellies — making Julian moan deeper again.
Huh, he's so sensitive right now, holding me so tenderly… I think I'm going to lose my mind.
Finally, lifting my hips, I make his cock slide out. Julian holds his breath, shuddering, his breathing getting heavier and heavier… And I go down, burying myself in him wholly, arousing an even louder, hoarser moan that sounds at the same time as mine.
“Kiss me…” He whispers an order, without letting go of his arms, holding me possessively yet affectionately, *“Please, kiss me.”*
I brush my lips against Julian's, leaning closer and pressing my breasts against his hypersensitive body.
While my tongue searches for his, almost shyly, I'm moving my hips up and down a little faster this time. This gives me a strange sensation because every time it slides out of me, some water also seems to get in… Still, I keep going up and down, colliding our skins, making our kiss so intense, so wild…
My hips jolt, and Julian moans loudly, interrupting the kiss to get some air… But he seals our foreheads, closing his eyes to revel in how I'm starting to ride him, tilting my pelvis while still trapped in his arms. And rolling my belly, swirling my waist like this, I know I'm bringing Julian an intense wave of pleasure.
He pulls me with his arm, making my breasts collide with his chest again, but I just throw my hips backward, lifting it to ride him hard, making the tip of his cock hit the most sensitive spot inside me… And this seems to drive him over the edge because his grunts get louder and heavier…
“Fuck.” He mumbles, then brushes our lips again to confess in a whisper, *“I love you so damn much.”*
Julian's words take me by surprise, and I stop abruptly, pulling my body away from his chest.
He just looks at me intensely, without any surprise, any confusion… His eyes are serious, but I'm shaking… I'm shaking so much, and my heart is beating so fast that I wouldn't be surprised if it just stopped…
“Y- You what?”
He smiles, pulling me back into his arms, and I hide in the curve of his neck and shoulder; my face is burning so much that my cheeks must be flushed, and I probably have many tears in my eyes… “You're drunk.”
“Yes, I am.” He kisses my hair… But I don't dare to look at him right now… “But do you think I'd say something like that just because I'm drunk?”
I purse my lips, squeezing his neck tightly in my arms, and run my fingers back into his hair, tugging slightly…
“I love you girl-”
“Stop it,” I mumble in a shaky voice, swallowing back the sob that threatens to escape… “I won't accept that.”
“Why not, huh?” Julian laughs against my temple, bringing shivers to my body, which is simply exploding with such conflicting emotions… I can't even tell if I'm crying because my chest is tight or because the pleasure of feeling him like this is overwhelming me.
“I won't accept the words of a drunk,” I mutter, closing my eyes tightly… And his hoarse laugh makes me feel stupid again.
“All right, then…” He loosens his grip on my body, running his hand down my back… And the way his rough palm touches me under the water sends a slight shiver down my spine. “I just need to tell you tomorrow.”
I hold my breath, with tears streaming down my face, getting lost in his wet collarbone.
“For now… Why don't you just ride me?” Julian holds my ass and uses his fingers to spread them, making me gasp. “Ride me and make me come inside you again.”