83 — Go home, Julian

Back in the bedroom, away from the smell of pleasure, the steamy that was making my mind foggy, I take a deep breath, inflating my lungs to the max, only to let it out harshly… And I look at my bed, painfully aware that I really want to fall asleep in Julian's arms, especially when looking at him would be the first thing in the morning.
But that's just a silly dream that I don't get much attached to. I just open the bedroom door fearfully, with my heart beating fast and anxiously. The lights in the house are on, but there's such a deep silence that I can hear everything around me — the creak of the door, my heart beating in my ear, and my feet that make a thin noise whenever the sole hit the porcelain tiles.
"Dad?" I call out loudly, walking down the corridor slowly… It's a long corridor and, although it's not as big as the villa Dad used to live in, this apartment has many rooms. Fortunately, Dad's is one of the first, which means it's considerably far from mine.
I stop in front of his bedroom and raise my hand to knock on his door but find myself unable to continue. Damn, I'm shaking. I mean, I was fucking his best friend not long ago, and now I'm about to make him go out to buy some medicine I don't even need.
*I'm the worst.*
Okay, let's do it.
I finally knock on the door. My three firm hits echo through my chest… But nothing, no answer. I call him again, "Daddy?" with three more knocks, but no answer.
… nothing at all.
I open the door slowly, letting him know I'm entering. But when I fully open it, there's nothing besides the furniture and the light off.
He's not here.
I feel weird while I walk around the rest of the apartment, calling him out loudly, checking every corner. But indeed, there's no sign of Dad.
A sudden concern gets over me, and I run my hand through my hair, approaching the front door cautiously, making sure that my footsteps don't make a sound in this silent apartment.
I press the button on the small display and see nothing in the hall… But even knowing that the camera catches it completely, I don't feel convinced at all, and I unlock the door just to see that my father really isn't there.
Again, I close it, and the click of the door shutting snaps inside me. Immediate relief spreads through my body, but it doesn't last long. I'm soon back in my room, picking up my bag thrown on the floor, with hands shaking from the overload of emotion.
And as soon as I pick up my phone, the screen lights up with texts from my father,
**[Sweetheart, something came up, and I had to leave… I left some medicine for you in the kitchen.]**
**[If you need me, give me a call.]**
I sit up in bed, suddenly with no strength in my legs. My throat is tight with guilt, and I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I clear my throat, holding my phone tightly against my forehead, sinking my head into my hands.
I'm shaking my body impatiently, realizing what the heck we've been doing… Oh my gosh, what was I thinking? Julian can blame it on the booze… What about me? I can't blame anything but myself.
"Angel?" His voice makes me look back, and I notice that he's dressed… well, almost dressed… His pants are properly buttoned, but his chest is still bare; only his arms are covered in the shirt he's starting to close.
Honestly, seeing his hair messy and wet makes me feel even worse… it doesn't take more than that to shake me completely. Just the sight of Julian is enough to make my body combust. I just… *melt* — my heart races, and I forget how to breathe… How can someone be so handsome?
But I need to force myself to smile and say in a strangled voice, "It's all right. Dad is gone."
"Is that so?" Julian tilts his head slightly, closing his shirt, forbidding my eyes from continuing to look over the pleasing curves of his eight-pack.
"Leave before he comes back… I don't know when that will happen, so you should just go now." I swallow the sob, running my hand through my hair again, brushing back the brown waves.
Julian doesn't say anything... he just looks at me. And that makes me slap my thighs and stand up like a force is pulling me against my will. "I'll walk you to the door."
I start to move, but before I go to the corridor, I feel Julian's arms surround my body, wrapping around my waist. I hold my breath when he kisses my neck, right on the skin exposed by the robe, sending a shiver up my spine, making me tremble under his touch.
"You should go." My voice trembles and weakens completely, and I swallow back a moan when Julian's large hand reaches the robe, lowering it slightly over my shoulder, uncovering more of my skin that's soon touched by his wet lips.
I close my eyes, trying to stick to reason, but it's really hard when he slides his soft tongue like that, sucking on my neck while using his arms to press me against his body, his solid chest pressing my arching back.
"Give me a kiss first, huh?" Julian mumbles, turning me around and making me squeeze my breasts against his hard chest this time. His green eyes sparkle with something besides desire… It's more like a *need.*
"Dad could arrive at any moment, you know," I say quietly, almost in a whisper, with my innocent eyes locked on his.
"Just one more." He brings his face closer, merging our breaths… "Just one more kiss and I'll leave."
Julian doesn't wait for my answer and brushes his lips against mine in a light touch, pulling my lower lip between his teeth with a teasing smile on his lips. Then he slowly releases them to rub his tongue until it slides into my mouth, exploring every corner with curiosity, even though our kiss is already so well-known… And when I finally feel the softness of his tongue touching mine, I dig my nails into his shirt and surrender completely.
His hands search every curve of my body over the robe while the kiss intensifies. He's playing with my tongue, teasing me with a light, slow, inviting motion that inevitably makes me moan.
Then Julian slowly pulls away, licking my lips and sucking before kissing them lightly again, to say… "Can't I convince you to sneak into my apartment with me?"
I snort, pushing him by the chest, but my gesture is weak, without conviction… And if the way I can't really push him doesn't give away how much Julian affects me, the silly smile that threatens to rise to my lips certainly does. That's why I take a few steps and turn my back on him, walking through the apartment with him following me calmly behind.
Okay. Now it's time again.
I breathe deeply and stop in front of the display to ensure there's no one outside — then I open the door, finding the empty hall.
"Clear path." I say, looking at Julian, opening the door, "Go home, Julian, get some rest… Tomorrow will be a long day."
Julian moistens his lips and starts to walk… But just as he's about to cross the door completely, he stops and leans over me, placing another light kiss on my lips, going up to my forehead, where he also puts a kiss.
I hold my breath and watch with true emotion while he forces himself to cross the hall, stopping in front of his door, which opens without any lock, just with a turn of the knob.
"Oh, I think I forgot to lock it," Julian says with a chuckle, more to himself than, in fact, to me… Then, he looks over his shoulder and adds, "While I was waiting all damn night just to see you."
*Hah* — My heart certainly skipped a beat.
"Good night, girl." He gives me a soft smile and, as fast as he burst my apartment tonight, as he made room in my heart seven years ago, Julian closes the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
***
And morning came, just like every other time.
My heavy body still carries memories of last night, when I gave myself so intensely that I can still feel traces of Julian, even if I washed, put on my work clothes and some make-up to hide the dark circles under my eyes and the hickey left on my neck, his territory marked.
I confess that part of me is still affected by the words he said... about the intensity of his eyes and how the sex felt so… different.
Part of me wishes things would go in a better direction from now on, but I can't delude myself about that… not when something similar has happened before. Julian tends to forget what he says and does when he's that drunk; whenever morning comes, it's like waking up from a dream — and everything becomes just that, a dream.
But it's not a dream, it can't be… The medicine Dad put in the kitchen is still there, as is the note he left this morning, saying that I can sleep or skip the day. But of course, I couldn't do that. So I just gathered all my courage and took a cab to the company.
When I finally arrive, only ten minutes late, I smooth my hair forward, covering my neck, suddenly aware that the marks of my sin are still on my body.
My heels click on the floor, attracting a few stares while I approach my desk. I don't feel any hostility this time, but as I'm closing to sit, my phone buzzes… In fact, all the phones have started buzzing around me at the same time.
This brings me a chill because I can imagine what's going on.
Everyone picks up their phones to check this rush of texts, these notifications overflowing everyone's phones, all the employees… And I do the same, sighing when I finally look at the new post on the forum.
Well… it seems that someone has taken the bait.