137 — Julian’s brother’s dream

Julian’s past is quite a mystery. I know he was born into an old, traditional, and extremely wealthy family, and he has many siblings, but I didn’t meet any of them. They seem to have been fighting for more than a decade, but apart from that, I don’t know much about it. I didn’t even know Julian had an older brother.
“I thought Julian was the eldest,” I say in a soft voice, drawing my father’s eyes to me.
“He is now.” Daddy lowers the frame, positioning it in the exact place it was before. “Jack passed away twenty-four years ago.” He sighs, with his shoulders tense. This subject clearly affects him deeply. “A year after this photo.”
My chest tightens, and my legs go weak. I sit in the chair slowly, gasping for breath... “What happened?”
I don’t know if I should ask... if it’s right to relive such painful memories, but realizing that I know so little about my father, about Julian, brings a bitter taste to my mouth... especially since all this time, I seem to have been too absorbed in my own problems and haven’t looked around. I feel selfish, self-centered, and terribly sad.
“Car accident.” My father says simply, then clears his throat like there’s a lump there. “Jack was eighteen at the time, with his whole life ahead, but it was an accident, a fatality.”
A sigh comes from between my lips, “I’m so sorry.”
“Me too.” He gives a sad smile, looking at the photograph. “He had a great sense of humor, you know? No matter how sad he was, if things were difficult, Jack would find a way to smile and make jokes about it. Life always looked too light for him... like the world had a different color for him. People were naturally drawn to him, to his way of making things simple.”
I smile... *It seems that Julian has someone to pull on.*
“On this day, we were fixing Jack’s car. I still remember his father saying that he should just call a mechanic, that he had other things to worry about, but there was Jack, greased from head to toe, smiling at his father. Mr. Adams said something like *stop being such a bad influence on your brother* but ended up laughing at the sight of tiny Julian passing a wrench around, all dirty, with messy hair. We all laughed even harder when that brat got angry and ran after Jack with the wrench.”
My father laughs softly, remembering the scene as if he can relive it with every detail in his mind, and that brings tears to my eyes, with the same emotion invading my chest. Even though this isn’t a memory that belongs to me, I feel like I can see it before my eyes.
“Jack loved things like that, getting his hands dirty, doing everything himself,” Daddy says, his voice almost failing. “Despite his playful personality, he was quite serious when it came to his family, especially Julian. It may seem that Jack led his life like a joke because he didn’t want to take over the family business, but he was a free spirit who didn’t come into this world to follow imposed destinies — he wanted to conquer everything with his own effort... he wanted to make Julian proud and capable of deciding for himself, capable of being a child.”
I lower my eyes, looking at my trembling fingers, and swallow hard at the knot forming in my throat.
“When Jack suddenly gave up on inheriting the family’s companies and legacy, Julian was just a five-year-old child, too smart and intelligent for his age and his own good. Because he studied to be the future leader of the family at a very early age and replace his father, Julian was considered a genius. Of course, Juls never minded; he never complained or threw a tantrum about it... he was surprisingly understanding, a good kid.” Daddy huffs, like telling me all these things take his breath away. “But Jack felt guilty about it, I think. He never told me directly, but he always seemed like a kid when around Julian... It was the only time they could be a normal child.”
I never imagined that Julian had such a childhood. Despite having Jack by his side, it doesn’t seem like something a child would face easily. So many responsibilities, so many burdens... The weight of a family’s future on his small shoulders, I wonder if it was heavy.
“When Jack died, Julian shut down completely. He stopped smiling and studied himself to exhaustion... There were many times when he collapsed from pushing his body and mind to the limit. Julian always demanded a lot of himself, but the death of his brother pushed him over the edge. I think he only didn’t fall because his mother set studies limits and made him do other things like boxing and piano.”
“Piano?” I ask in surprise, blinking a few times.
“Don’t tell him I told you. He hates piano.” My father laughs a little louder, shaking his head. “The only thing he ever really loved was boxing... no wonder he’s still at it today.”
“I didn’t imagine it...” I murmur, sighing. “That Julian’s past was like this.”
“There are a lot of things Julian still keeps to himself, but I can’t say it… I think Julian should tell you about the problems with his family.”
I nod slowly, understanding, but Daddy adds, “What I can tell you is that he feels betrayed by his family and carries a deep hurt... For some people, family is the most painful wound, and Julian still has unresolved issues with them. I’ve already accepted that my ties with the O’Neils are cut, but it’s different for Julian. I can’t forgive my parents for what they did, but maybe Julian should try.”
I open my lips slowly, but no words escape through them.
I’d like to know why Julian doesn’t talk to his family, but I don’t want to bring up such a painful subject with him, especially when there’s so much going on between us. But now, it raises some questions that I’d really like to clear up.
“You know, this company... It was Jack’s dream.” My father says suddenly, making my eyebrows go up, and my eyes widen in surprise... *Julian’s brother’s dream?* “He’s always been fascinated by technology, how it continues to evolve and help human beings, how our lives are always made easier by it, how our minds always manage to come up with new things, and how we always manage to realize these ideas that may seem crazy. And *the crazier, the more revolutionary,* he used to say. Jack was fascinated by this idea, by the desire to mark people’s lives.”
I feel tears wetting my eyelashes, and I can even hear my heart beating... a rhythm that isn’t fast enough to make me uncomfortable but is strong and brings a chill to my chest.
“Jack wanted a technology company… that was his dream... a company that saves people with its crazy ideas, even if it’s just one. Nothing so glorious; it doesn’t have to be... He wanted to make a difference, even if it was just for one person.”
“J’O Technologies... the J is not Julian’s,” I say with realization slowly falling over me, making me gasp. “Is it a reference to Jack’s name?”
My father gives me a soft smile, but I can see his watery eyes shining with intense feelings that I can’t fully understand, but there are glimpses of pride and happiness for having come so far, for making their great friend’s dream come true.
“Yes, *Jacob and O’Neil...* Both Julian and I chose it when we decided to inherit the dream that Jack left behind.” Daddy pinches the top of his nose and discreetly scrunches up his eyes, which I notice to be bloodshot and even more tired. “This company... it means the world to me and Julian. It’s a legacy... the greatest of memorials.”
I smile softly at the smile he gives himself.
“I would never decide without thinking long and hard about it... I wouldn’t put J’O Tech at unnecessary risk.” He says, at last, making me sigh again.
“Are you saying that because you bought Dynamic CO. or because my name is on the list to be Project Director?” I ask, grabbing the side of my skirt where I hope Dad can’t see.
“Both.” He shrugs, clearing his throat to get rid of the same lump that was in mine, and relaxes his back in the chair. “If you’re here to ask me to excuse you, don’t waste your time. I won’t do it. It’s not just up to me anymore; it’s a decision we made together. If you don’t even want to try, I’ll accept your resignation letter.”
My smile widens a bit more, and I cross my arms, “Is this a way of punishing me?”
“You know I’ve always respected your choices, even if I didn’t agree with some of them. You didn’t feel ready to take on the leadership of the project before, and I praised you for admitting that. I wouldn’t force you, even if I thought you were suited to it. I trusted your abilities, and I wanted you to trust them too.” He frowns, and I can understand why his forehead is so marked, as he doesn’t even seem to notice it. “But if you don’t feel ready for it, you should go for something that gives you confidence, something you really want to do. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life in this company because I’m the CEO. You don’t have to feel pressured into anything, sweetheart… I want you to do what your heart desires and be happy.”
“Daddy...” My eyes tear up again, even though the smile hasn’t left my lips. I dry the corner of my wet eyelashes and say, sniffling, “I’m not here to convince you to take my name out... I’ll do it. I’ll do my best to prove I’m worthy and to convince everyone that I’m the best choice to be Project Director.”
My father looks at me with pride, his smile widening slowly as his expression softens... “You mean it?”
I nod slowly, and that’s the answer enough. Dad gets up from his chair and quickly walks around the table, stopping next to me. I stand up, already finding his arms open, enveloping me in a warm, firm embrace that feels like home.
Closing my eyes, I give myself completely to his embrace, resting my tear-soaked face against his chest. I wrap my arm around his body, giving him the strength he needs to know how much I need this hug.
“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.” He kisses the top of my hair and rests his cheek on it. “You’ve grown so much… I’m really happy and proud of you.”
I grab his shirt with my trembling fingers, “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me... for everything you’ve done for *me and Julian.”*
He shudders slightly but doesn’t break the embrace, and I add, knowing that my soft voice reaches the deepest place in his heart, “I love you, Daddy... And *Julian loves you.* Without you, none of us would be here... you taught us to smile again... we owe everything to you.”
My father lowers his head, and I can hear him sniffle. His embrace becomes a little tighter, more possessive, more protective — and I hug him tightly back so that he can be sure that my words carry my deepest gratitude.
“Julian loves you, Daddy... Don’t leave him... Please, stay by his side.”