23 — Empty expression of affection

Indeed, I wish this was some kind of nightmare… I even pinch myself to make sure I'm not asleep and, to my complete dismay, it's nothing but reality.
That damn bouquet of white roses is so big that there are easily hundreds of flowers squeezed into the arrangement, practically overflowing; there are even some petals loose at the table.
Julian stops, noticing my reaction… and his eyes follow the same path as mine, finding the bouquet that draws his attention too.
Honestly, I feel my heart stopping right now. I can't believe that, once again, Eric has sent flowers to my office…
When he sent it that first time, I simply ignored his messages. I saw no reason to answer, especially since I made it clear that there's absolutely nothing between us anymore.
And if that's not reason enough, Laura is pregnant with his child! This should be more than enough for him to stop this pathetic and empty expression of affection. Because if he really had loved me, he wouldn't have done what he did. I know this, and don't plan to blame myself, even though both are insisting that this is all my fault.
But again, Eric is sending me a damn bouquet, much bigger than the first one… It makes my stomach twist.
There are different looks at me, and many whispers… When I first got a bouquet, everyone praised me and said I'm lucky to have a caring boyfriend. Now, they look at me like this is some kind of show.
Approaching with quick steps, I feel the smell of the flowers permeate my nostrils. It's not a cozy smell as it's supposed to be. It's something that disgusts me, makes my stomach twist, and makes me want to scream. Because I wanted to forget about Eric, forget about what he did to me — but his presence is here... It's like I can't escape, no matter how hard I try to run away.
I pick up the bouquet and throw it angrily into the trash, listening to gasps all around me. I cast a sharp look at the people watching me, and don't even bother to say anything, or look at Julian…. I just ran towards the room where I hoped to be alone, as there’s still some time until lunchtime is over.
But of course, I'm not.
Laura is waiting for me inside, with a forehead so frowned that her eyebrows go down, near her eyes that burn with intense hatred. I try to ignore her and enter the room, but she advances on me abruptly and closes the door, making it sound loud, startling me.
Soon, her hand is on my arm, digging her fingers heavily into my skin, pulling me towards her, “I told you to stay away from Eric, didn't I?”
“What? Have you lost your mind?” I ask harshly, releasing myself from her grip, walking over to my desk…
But Laura is following me, shouting in her loud voice, “You keep pretending to be innocent?”
I sigh sharply, running my hand over my face… I'm SO tired of this nonsense… Honestly, what is this girl's problem?
“Look, what do you want me to do? You shouldn't be blaming me for this when I'm clearly not interested in this nonsense.”
Laura raises her eyebrows, crossing her arms, “You're threatening Eric, aren't you? Why would he keep sending you those flowers, seeking your forgiveness?”
“I'm telling you, it just doesn't make sense-”
“Eric doesn't want to tell me because he's worried, but I know what you're doing, Angelee…. You hate to lose, don't you? Since Eric would clearly choose to stay with me, you're trying to trap him-”
I can't help but laugh because I've never heard so much bullshit in such a short time. *Trap him?* All I want is for both to disappear from the face of the earth!
Honestly, I'm so angry right now… I need to grit my teeth, so I don't say words that will really hurt Laura — I just swallow them all because I don't want to stress her out… It's not good for the innocent child in her belly.
I just sigh sharply, turning to her, tossing my hair past my shoulders, “Since you're so concerned about me telling his family what a low, horrible cheater he is, assure him that the last thing I want is to get involved with the Smiths again. I've already wasted four years of my life trying to please them, becoming someone I'm not…. And I don't intend to give such a disappointment to his poor mother.”
I notice that Laura's eyes are fixed on me… on my neck.
Suddenly she gives a sarcastic laugh…. “Don't tell me… You saved yourself for so long, and end up fucking with Julian?”
“What?” I frown, feeling my blood bubble with anxiety.
“I knew that the thing about saving your virginity for Eric's family was an excuse…. You barely broke up with him, and you're already spreading your legs for your daddy's friend?”
I take a sharp step toward her, gritting my teeth.
*Hold your hand, Angelee...... Hold still…*
“At least I didn't fuck my friend's boyfriend and get pregnant.”
She gives me a sarcastic smile, “But you wish…. Seeing how you were so smiling with my ex. I wonder if you're really a virgin…. You've been cheating on Eric, haven't you? For someone who acted like virginity was a gift, you seem willing to let anyone unwrap it.”
I swear to God, if she wasn't pregnant..... My hand would meet her debauched face.
“You know what, think what you want.” I say between teeth, clenching my hands into fists tightly.
“I'm dying to know what Eric will think of that…. While he's feeling guilty about what he did, sending you white roses, trying to apologize, you're acting like a slut out there.”
“It seems that you value those flowers so much… If you want them so badly, why don't you get them from the trash?”
“You…”
Laura growls and, for my relief, swallows her offense because the staff is entering the room. She just gives me a death glare before turning her back on me and returning to her workstation.
Sinking in my chair, with my heart pounding hard in my chest, all I can think is......*What the fuck?*
***
The meeting went as planned and was surprisingly calm. Despite the clear hostility, everyone did their best to show ideas and concepts in the hope that they would stand out and fall in the favor of their superiors.
Well, I can understand that anyone would die to be in this position, and I know that it's ungrateful of me to give it up in this way, but as the day progressed, the more I understood that this position does not belong to me.
It has been at least twenty minutes since the workday ended, and I have been left alone in this room, making sure that all the intents are passed on to Julian, who will choose the best ones so that we can study the best proposals and finally define which one will become the primal design — and then create the sample. It's not a quick or simple process, but we will have to work hard to complete it in two weeks.
I felt my head hurt as I pressed the button and sent everything to Julian's e-mail. Only then am I free to go home, and I'm dying to fill the bathtub and sink into it, maybe drink some wine, and then watch some old movie.
Pushing the elevator button, I inevitably look toward Julian's office, at the light that escapes through the gaps in the curtain. He's probably still working.
But I crunch my lips together, tempted to go over there, knock on his door and call him to come with me, maybe share the plans I have for tonight. He would probably accept.
The sound of the elevator and the doors opening awaken me from this tempting dream. I'd better not get in his way.
I get into the elevator and, as the doors close, I stare at the numbers on the display, which, one by one, are decreasing, until finally the doors open again at the reception, which isn't empty, since there are still employees from other departments leaving.
Looking at the big clock in the reception area and notice that half hour has passed since the end of work. I can already feel my body relax as I walk towards the exit-
“Angel…” I immediately freeze as I hear my name come out in that rough voice… like a broken record, a medieval torture. “Honey, I've been waiting for you…”
No.
*No, no, no.*
I clench my hands into fists, feeling my heart beating fast, so fast that it might rip through my chest and jump out.
“Angel.” He calls again, and I feel my throat narrow.
I turn my face slowly, afraid, terrified. And there he is… **Eric**.
“I missed you, honey.”